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hhxrin
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Default Jun 23, 2019 at 01:45 PM
  #1
Hi everyone!

This is something i've been thinking of for a while. She's a really good person, but has some mental health issues(mostly anxiety and depression but she's a huge hypochondriac) that aren't diagnosed and she makes a very big deal out of them on a regular basis. (I'm not saying they aren't, it's just in her case)
I know if i'd need her she'd be there for me, but I don't feel the need to open up to her.

She's a genuinely good person, but she exhausts me to the point where it becomes physical; she's loud, needy(touchy, i feel guilty when telling her i'm not comfortable with something as simple as holding hands, clingy; needs constant validation, frequent hanging out...) always in some drama, complaining and asking for advice.

And even though I know I could freely return everything listed and not be judged, invalidated or not accepted, I don't need/want to.
She is too much for me, and I feel guilty for even thinking to cut the ties with her. Even if I left her in my 'outer circle', I can't distance someone off because of their (possible) mental illness.

At the same time, I can't set boundaries or tell her how I feel- that's just how she is. She's loud and eccentric, a good friend but really emotionaly and energetically demanding. I think she considers me as a only real friend.

I'm kinda lost, sorry for the rant
thanks for staying!
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Raindropvampire
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Default Jun 24, 2019 at 02:35 AM
  #2
If your interactions are that draining for you it sounds like getting some distance would be a good thing. Especially if she won't respect your boundaries you have to do what's right for you and practice good self care. Welcome to PC

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Jybee
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 09:37 AM
  #3
Yes, it's really interesting question
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Sunflower123
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 12:21 PM
  #4
I agree with Raindropvampire. Some distance in this case might be a good thing since she drains you and is so demanding.

A warm welcome to PC.
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Anonymous45634
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 12:47 PM
  #5
this is not really a call that anyone here can make for you. it's something only you can decide. only you can say if walking away is the right call. honestly, if the weight of the friendship is too much, then step away..my opinion, but again that is my call not yours.
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Default Jun 27, 2019 at 10:14 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by hhxrin View Post

I'm kinda lost, sorry for the rant
thanks for staying!
It doesn't sound like she is a good fit for you nor are you a good fit for her. If you reluctantly stay in the friendship, she will be able to sense that reluctance, as it will come through in your words, actions, and facial expressions.

For example, if a sigh or the rolling of the eyes slips out when she starts talking, she will see that and feel rejected.

I think you will save both you and her the trouble for the years to come if you let go of that which cannot be fixed. But if you feel this friendship can be fixed, trying doesn't hurt.
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Thanks for this!
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