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#42
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What are you suggesting? That we discuss better strategies for how to support people so we don't scare off future posters? |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#43
This is anonymous forum Hopefully she is just busy. Her last activity was on 06/25. And there were death threats against her and if they drive intoxicated it’s quite mortifying that maybe the reason she isn’t posting is very tragic.
Or maybe they made up and keep on doing whatever is that they are doing and she’d rather not share. Who knows. I once didn’t post for awhile and I received concerned PMs but there was no big reason why I wasn’t logging in. It’s a choice |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#44
I sure wouldn’t come back, if I was getting criticized for drunk driving when that wasn’t even the issue that the OP asked for help for.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#45
That was my point. The bigger issue is her life was threatened and he hit her. I am guessing it must be very confusing and painful for the OP given it's never happened before.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#46
You’ve been talking about victim blaming on another thread, Eve. While, yes, sometimes the victim has done some things wrong too, when trying to help them, is it a good idea to harshly rub their noses in it?
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#47
poster included the info in her original post...poor judgements were made by both parties. you can't just blame the boyfriend for poor actions. alcohol played into the bad calls. they drove drunk and that put others at risk..innocents. she was supposed to be the designated driver and she drank. she stated he was very intoxicated. all of this played into the incident. placing false blame? criticizing the poster..yes, but she was wrong too, and she posted the info. this was a bad situation. boyfriend needed jail time to cool off...and then both need to think and get their heads on straight. I feel for her, he is abusive...but she needs to take charge of her role in this incident as well.
what if you were driving on the same road as these two that night and you encountered them? driving while intoxicated is not something that should just be smoothed over. especially when she LET him drive knowing he drank too much and she as the safe driver was drunk. thank god they didn't hit anyone, |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#49
Quote:
Again, only a shot in the dark. OP, if you're still reading and want to jump back in, just let us know what you need. Quote:
It's a delicate process. A bit like surgery, it requires the proper tools. If you go in with a sledge hammer, you're going to kill the patient. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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#50
I agree theoretical, what stood out to me is her needing to downplay his behavior that was clearly dangerous and talk about how good he CAN be and that it's probably her own fault that caused him to react the way he did. The other concern I had was how he was using drugs and alcohol. Often a person does that to avoid feeling their own insecurities and pain. This is something HE needs to address and as long as she continues to allow him to engage in practicing drug use, she will face these episodes where he can suddenly lash out at her. It's extremely concerning at this point because he did hit her and choked her and threatened her life.
When someone is in LOVE they can be blinded by that and FAIL to see that reality that they NEED to see so they don't end up getting badly hurt. It actually CAN BE a bit like surgery when it comes to gradually helping someone see a reality they simply don't want to see. A person can end up running away or they can literally blow up at you in anger because of how badly they need to protect their illusion. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#51
I wasn’t implying you did that, Eve, and I see the post looked like I was referring to you doing it, but I wasn’t. I hate when typing doesn’t come across with what you mean to say!
It’s that ‘tough love’ laying into someone that really bothers me because I’ve had to endure it often. I appreciate criticism in a more gentle way, especially when one has been abused from something else. Wishing well to the OP __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#52
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I hear you! |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky, TishaBuv
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#53
@TheOutsider90, how are you feeling right now? Are you safe? How can we be of assistance to you, and how can we support you best?
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MickeyCheeky
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