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Hjr2942
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Default Jun 25, 2019 at 12:08 PM
  #1
I spiralled into a really bad place last night and talking to my friends about wanting to do more fun stuff ended up with me whining about how miserable I am seeing people on social media and my own friends having better lives than me. They suggested I delete social media and I got annoyed and made some sarcastic stupid comments about how that’ll solve everything, I’ll still be on my own and know everyone else isn’t, but at least I won’t be able to see it so that’ll sort me out!

My depression comes from a lot of places but loneliness is a huge part. My friends are all in relationships and have busier lives than me because of this. They have less time for me and I feel like it’s alwags me making the effort to organise things or suggest things and if I didn’t, I don’t think I’d ever see them for more than a coffee if that. Lack of connection makes my depression worse and at the moment it feels like nobody cares, and that I would not be missed. My friends don’t understand that what I need is connection, if I had that I wouldn’t be thinking everyone else is having a great time apart from me. I like time alone but I need a balance and time alone feels ok when it’s not the only option but when there isn’t even an option to spend time with others it sucks.

Now I’m embarrassed for lashing out at my friends. I’m embarrassed that they now see me as being so lame and such a loser that I can’t be happy for other people having a nice time. I can’t even bring myself to talk to them because they don’t really get mental illness having. Not been effected. I don’t know where to go from here because I can just see myself spiralling into isolation and pushing g the few really close friends who I do love, away.

I just wish I could be a little more of a priority for people. I wish I could be made to feel like people actually want to spend time with me.
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Smile Jun 25, 2019 at 07:44 PM
  #2
Hello Hjr: Thank you for sharing your concern. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Here's a link to the depression forum, here on PC, should that be of interest:

https://psychcentralforums.com/depression/

And then here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of interest. The first article, by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. provides links to a number of additional articles on its subject:

Loneliness | Psych Central

How To Cope With Losing Friends Because Of Your Mental Illness | I'm Not a Robot

Dear Friends: Why My Anxiety Ruined Our Relationships

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 04:02 AM
  #3
What made you annoyed about your friends suggesting you delete or disable social media?

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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 06:24 AM
  #4
Loneliness is certainlty painful, Hjr2942 Do you see a therapist right now? Maybe that could help! I feel like that may certainly help you. You could learn many new things and many new ways to cope with your feelings. Please DO consider it if you aren't seeing one already. If you already are, I apologize immensely to you. It is hard to create meaningful relationship with other people, whether they'd be friends or romanitc relationship, when we're struggling with ourselves. That's why I suggest to work on yourself and what you feel like it's lacking in your life. I know it's not easy but I'd suggest to try to do that As for your friends, if they are TRUE friend they'll understand how you truly feel and they WON'T judge you. I'm sure they'll understand. If you're still worried though, you could try to send them an apology or something like that. Not that I think you did anything bad, really, but perhaps that may help you feel better with yourself and with them as well. They may also understand how you TRULY feel and perhaps they'll try to support you in this difficult moment you're going through. Just a thought! Please keep us updated on your situation if you can and want and let us know how things are going for you. We ALL do care about you! THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you the best of luck in BOTH your healing and your life! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, Hjr2942, and to ALL the people you love and who love you!
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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 10:51 AM
  #5
Um, I know you don't want to hear this but I think your friends offered you some valuable advice.

I have a few questions: do you have a lot of people on your friends list you actually don't know in real life? This is a really big source of emotional unhappiness. Try not to get drawn into the lives others portray as having. I hazard to guess that many of these tenuous acquaintanceships don't lead the lives they purport to. So, my own suggestion is that culling these people you really don't know back. Do you have people on your friends list that cause you a great deal of grief? So why keep them? This is another opportunity to vet your circle. The people on your social media should be people who are advantageous to you. Preferably, you actually know them and maintain a relationship off social media. That is a true friend.

In the meantime take the 'look at my perfect life's posts with a grain of salt. No life is that perfect. People tend to exaggerate things and life moments are one of them. Remember that all is not what it seems. You don't know what negative situations are going on beneath the surface.

It sounds like these friends of yours care enough to be bluntly honest with you.

I wish you luck.
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Default Jun 26, 2019 at 01:41 PM
  #6
Loneliness destroys. I feel your pain and share your fear Hjr.

***This is just a thought for everyone.....I've noticed that when people post painful experiences or emotions they usually do not use emoji's in their post.
Sometimes emoji's used when replying to painful posts seem to trivialize the depth of the pain expressed.....IMHO.

emoji overkill can appear sophomoric & even demeaning when discussing very real adult issues. Often It's difficult to take in all of the good advice in the replies b/c excess emoji's are annoying to the readers eye as well. .
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