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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: Seattle
Posts: 735
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#1
I’ve rarely had close friends or relationships. Today I lost two close acquaintances (not friends that would imply that we do stuff together) because they are moving away. Now if I had a normal relationship life where I had close friends this wouldn’t be a big deal. However, it is because it gives me two less lifelines to my already lonely world. I tried to convince myself that I would be okay but it has taken me years to just develop these links to the world. Thing is these losses happened simultaneously so now I need to start all over again to replace them. This is hard because I don’t really know how to get close to people and when I even get to a point where people know my name it’s a victory. I can say that I’m scared because I don’t want to be any farther away from a friendly voice - thanks from an old man in the wilderness......
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Anonymous43949, Misery Business, Skeezyks, TunedOut, unaluna
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Blknblu
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
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#2
Well... honestly I don't know the answer to this. I'm married. But, otherwise, I'm completely reclusive... no family, no friends, nor even any acquaintances... by choice. So making acquaintances or friends isn't something I have a lot of hands-on experience with.
I guess my thinking is that, if I did want to try to meet some new people, I'd go out & get involved in some sort of social activities & / or volunteer efforts. There used to be an old sales adage that said something like: to succeed in sales put your belly button next to as many other belly buttons as you can. In order to develop new acquaintances, & perhaps even have the possibility of making friends, I would presume one has to get out there & meet people, preferably people with whom you share some common interests. At least that is my thinking on the subject. I do think it would be important to become involved with something you genuinely would like to do. There's never a guarantee that getting involved in some activity is going to result in developing new acquaintances or friends. And I suspect that becoming involved in something just as a way to find acquaintances or friends may be a self-defeating undertaking. One would need to, I would suspect, find an activity one would enjoy participating in enough that, if it does not result in making new acquaintances or friends, it's still worthwhile doing. To my way of thinking, getting involved in something simply to get to know people may be the surest way not to get to know anybody if that makes any sense. I know you're really just looking to develop some new acquaintances at this point not looking to find fast friends. However, lacking any articles on the subject of developing acquaintances, here are links to 6 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of making friends: Finding New Friends After 40 Turning Acquaintances Into Friends How to Make Friends | Of Two Minds How To Make Friends, or At Least Think About It More Clearly 8 Tips for Making Friends https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-shor...dium=popular17 __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Blknblu
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: Seattle
Posts: 735
9 10 hugs
given |
#3
Well I sort of wrote this because they were longtime acquaintances that were part of my social network. I actually thought they’d be around forever. Wrong, it came as a surprise that they decided to relocate. At any rate they were usually available when I hadn’t talked to anyone for awhile - it was a substantial loss to my social safety net. I’m like you I really don’t put a lot of effort into making friends - I’m pretty content if I can talk to somebody every once in a while. I’m also not as energetic as I used to be - this doesn’t help. I’m not a big “joiner” so when I do make a “friend” it’s rare. I’m a loner by trade and it’s late in the game. I’ve been working on social anxiety my whole life - thanks
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Skeezyks
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Blknblu
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
8 17.4k hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
Here's a link: Senior chat rooms and senior forums for over 50's chatters __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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