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Old 07-11-2019, 10:16 PM   #1
Macd123
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Default Loss of my two closest ď[email protected]

Iíve rarely had close friends or relationships. Today I lost two close acquaintances (not friends that would imply that we do stuff together) because they are moving away. Now if I had a normal relationship life where I had close friends this wouldnít be a big deal. However, it is because it gives me two less lifelines to my already lonely world. I tried to convince myself that I would be okay but it has taken me years to just develop these links to the world. Thing is these losses happened simultaneously so now I need to start all over again to replace them. This is hard because I donít really know how to get close to people and when I even get to a point where people know my name itís a victory. I can say that Iím scared because I donít want to be any farther away from a friendly voice - thanks from an old man in the wilderness......
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Old 07-12-2019, 02:54 PM   #2
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Smile Re: Loss of my two closest ‚Äú[email protected]

Well... honestly I don't know the answer to this. I'm married. But, otherwise, I'm completely reclusive... no family, no friends, nor even any acquaintances... by choice. So making acquaintances or friends isn't something I have a lot of hands-on experience with.

I guess my thinking is that, if I did want to try to meet some new people, I'd go out & get involved in some sort of social activities & / or volunteer efforts. There used to be an old sales adage that said something like: to succeed in sales put your belly button next to as many other belly buttons as you can. In order to develop new acquaintances, & perhaps even have the possibility of making friends, I would presume one has to get out there & meet people, preferably people with whom you share some common interests. At least that is my thinking on the subject.

I do think it would be important to become involved with something you genuinely would like to do. There's never a guarantee that getting involved in some activity is going to result in developing new acquaintances or friends. And I suspect that becoming involved in something just as a way to find acquaintances or friends may be a self-defeating undertaking. One would need to, I would suspect, find an activity one would enjoy participating in enough that, if it does not result in making new acquaintances or friends, it's still worthwhile doing. To my way of thinking, getting involved in something simply to get to know people may be the surest way not to get to know anybody if that makes any sense.

I know you're really just looking to develop some new acquaintances at this point not looking to find fast friends. However, lacking any articles on the subject of developing acquaintances, here are links to 6 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of making friends:

Finding New Friends After 40

Turning Acquaintances Into Friends

How to Make Friends | Of Two Minds

How To Make Friends, or At Least Think About It More Clearly

8 Tips for Making Friends

https://psychcentral.com/blog/a-shor...dium=popular17

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Old 07-12-2019, 06:41 PM   #3
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Default Re: Loss of my two closest ď[email protected]

Well I sort of wrote this because they were longtime acquaintances that were part of my social network. I actually thought theyíd be around forever. Wrong, it came as a surprise that they decided to relocate. At any rate they were usually available when I hadnít talked to anyone for awhile - it was a substantial loss to my social safety net. Iím like you I really donít put a lot of effort into making friends - Iím pretty content if I can talk to somebody every once in a while. Iím also not as energetic as I used to be - this doesnít help. Iím not a big ďjoinerĒ so when I do make a ďfriendĒ itís rare. Iím a loner by trade and itís late in the game. Iíve been working on social anxiety my whole life - thanks
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Old 07-12-2019, 07:13 PM   #4
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Smile Re: Loss of my two closest ‚Äú[email protected]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Macd123 View Post
Well I sort of wrote this because they were longtime acquaintances that were part of my social network. I actually thought theyíd be around forever. Wrong, it came as a surprise that they decided to relocate. At any rate they were usually available when I hadnít talked to anyone for awhile - it was a substantial loss to my social safety net. Iím like you I really donít put a lot of effort into making friends - Iím pretty content if I can talk to somebody every once in a while. Iím also not as energetic as I used to be - this doesnít help. Iím not a big ďjoinerĒ so when I do make a ďfriendĒ itís rare. Iím a loner by trade and itís late in the game. Iíve been working on social anxiety my whole life - thanks
Of course I don't know what other websites you may be on... or how old you are either for that matter. But there's a website for people 50 & over I recently became aware of. It's "Buzz50". I'm not a member. I've thought about joining. But despite my advanced age I really have almost nothing in common with other older people. Anyway... if you're not familiar with Buzz50, you might take a look at it. It's not in-real-life interaction, of course. But it might at least provide some additional on-line companionship... & not of the mental health variety. (I think sometimes there's something to be said for that.)

Here's a link:

Senior chat rooms and senior forums for over 50's chatters
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