Ended a toxic relationship..feel so broken right now

I should feel relieved. This guy was acting super shady! He was saying super creepy things that made me not want to trust him. Turns out that wasn’t the first time he was in his colleague’s house..her older son looked at him suspiciously and as my ex said he looked at him like “are you messing with my mom” who says this?! We were spending time consistently then all of a sudden he isn’t replying as much, etc. Day after I saw him he calls out from work but lied to me saying he’s “just busy” and when he called me said he has to get back to his clients. If he will lie about something this small, what else will he lie about? He’s not the good person he claims he is. I may have been texting too much, which I take responsibility for but I knew something was not right so I was overcompensating..I know it wasn’t the right way to go about things.

Yesterday, we were on the phone and his true colors came out. I called him when he was on the train and I didn’t hear what he said so my normal response is what? He got mad and hung up which confused me! Then he calls me, and he is acting totally disrespectful. Said I’m communicating with him too much, and then accused me of being manipulative and all these untruthful accusations. We made plans earlier in the week and all of a sudden he’s getting annoyed and feeling “pressured” when I bring it up. Acting like we never made the plans etc. Not sure what happened but I know it’s definitely not good.

I was already upset, but to make it worse he says do not contact me all weekend, I want to be alone. Do not contact me until Monday..then added “is that clear”? Like I’m his child. I’m no psychologist, but I feel he is being emotionally abusive. He will be attentive and respectful for a couple weeks. Then pull back, act like a different person and accuse me of being pushy. I know this isn’t in my head. But then he will gaslight me if I even say anything..lol you should have seen his reaction when I explained to him what gaslighting is which he didn’t even know the term.

Wait... did you actually end it or did he tell you to not call him until Monday? If it hasn't officially ended, I would do the preemptive strike and end it now and quickly. What a jerk!!

Oh gosh sorry..I meant about to..no I didn’t. But I won’t be in contact..I felt so disrespected and disregarded. Like ok I got what I could from you, next. I feel he is an opportunist..I loaned him money for the weekend because he was broke..paid me back when he got paid..fine. Yesterday he’s complaining how he has a couple dollars to his make but he got an advance..I didn’t fall for it this time.

I suggest that you block him and go permanent no contact.

thanks Bill..I’m going to. Besides being disrespectful, I don’t trust him. Plenty of other men...he’s not the end all that’s for sure. I wish I wouldn’t have given him so many chances

Maybe you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. There's nothing wrong with giving someone that. But he proved himself unworthy, and to be a liar. Do trust your gut when your gut tells you something is off. I usually have ignored my gut, and it's gotten me into trouble with men.

I did that also, even at the advice of my last therapist to dump him. Problem is, he gaslight me and I second guess myself and think it’s my fault. Even after the last fight he says “tomorrow you will be saying your sorry”

Yeah, maybe work with your therapist on trusting yourself, especially when someone is trying to manipulate you. Always trust what you know to be the truth. No one can ever take the truth away from you, even if they deny it exists. You know what's up. And that was very manipulative of him to say. Good riddance to him.

Glad to hear you are finally done. Stay strong

my hunch about him was right...I found him on tinder..even though it says he’s new on there..doesn’t matter. And he used the same lines he used on me as well as his BS looking for like minded, positive people and his love for beer lmao..yeah that will attract plenty of brainless bimbos 🙄 he is SO pathetic. Now it all makes sense..him being “busy” all of a sudden and me texting him too much..I see what he’s really up to. Good riddance loser.

I highly recommend you see your doctor ASAP to check for STDs (if you were intimate with him) this type of people cannot be trusted and you want to make sure you are safe

I suspect he is a player..weather gets nice he wants to be single..ugh. And I ran into him yesterday coincidentally, and he greeted me. I was civil and smiled, but that was a big enough sign for me to stay away forever..Mr I just want to relax and be alone this weekend. Liar

Good for you for seeing him for who he truly is and for recognizing all the warning signs. You can do sooo much better. Just be thankful you're getting out now before it became worse. I'm proud of you. Please be kind to yourself, if you're still hurting. It's easy to beat oneself up over what seems to have been a mistake... but it's a learning experience that you will take forward with you in the future.

thanks! There are just soooo many other men out there who want a person in their life who can offer loyalty and stability, etc. This one wants to play games, and I’m not going to waste another second on someone who is just not all there, and doesn’t know how to treat a person..people like him end up alone and rightfully so!

I agree with the others. Stay away from him. No need for that drama and disrespect. Reminds me of a guy I overheard in the store the other day. He was talking on the phone really loudly to a lady, insulting her, bringing up drama about restraining orders, etc., all in front of the young boy (presumably son) he was with and everyone else. When he said something really dramatic and I turned around and looked at him, he gave this rolling eyed response to suggest that the woman on the phone was ridiculous, but it was obvious that he was the ridiculous, dramatic, and inappropriate one.

Drop that negative influence like a bad habit and move on. You’re so right. There’s much better out there.
Hugs if you want them.

I am not reaching out to him. I am having anxiety, kind of like withdrawals from a drug, but it’s from him mistreating me. Real men don’t behave this way.