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Ssigros
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Ssigros I don't know how to fix my brain so I'll just keep making jokes.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: NC
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Frown Jul 19, 2019 at 10:48 PM
  #1
I broke up with my now exbf back in April. April 24th to be exact. I miss him..****, I miss him, every single second of every single day. I got along okay for the past few months, but my mind and heart are starting to slow down. Almost like some sort of adrenaline rush, though I have not been under the influence of anything. We had been together since 2014. We had our riffs and fights. There were a few times of minor breaks...but we always found our way back to each other. Mainly because we are so insanely in love. His voice alone simply made the stars in my universe twinkle. The glimmer in his dark blue eyes when he smiles or just looks at you or is reading a book....it's just perfection. It was like our arms were made simply to be able to wrap around each other. He would kiss me on my forehead and I would kiss him on his cheek, and to be honest, even though mouth to mouth is better, there was something so special about forehead/cheek kisses. He's not perfect, but he was perfect to me. I simply have too much going on within me though. Being in a relationship when you deal with over a decade of bulimia alongside PTSD and unstable emotions is never good to put upon someone else, no matter how much you try not to. Of course I didn't tell him any of that, though he knows all of my past and all that I deal with. He always supported me, was there for me, and listened to me. It all just became too much. I couldn't keep pushing and pulling at someone I love so much. He didn't deserve that. I made him believe I didn't want the relationship anymore and wanted to be alone. Which is true..to a point. Just breaking his heart was, stupidly, the worst thing I've ever done. I just want him to be happy. Whatever that means for him. I know I will never love another person on this Earth or in this realm the way I love him. I don't know how I will get along without him. This pain is just too heavy. He was my person.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 10:56 PM
  #2
I'm so sorry, Ssigros. I'm afraid I don't have any advice to offer you, but I know what you're going through. Take care of yourself. It's hard, but you know what's best for your mental health.
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