How to cope during an emotional crisis

I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice on how to cope when you find yourself in the middle of an emotional crisis?

Over these past few weeks I've been having a bit of a tough time. Different things every fews day just annoying and frustrating me. These have been ranging from, double booking when making plans so I've had to let down a friend, pressure at work, generally being tired, forgetting my bank card, I have a food allergy and a 'safe' restaurant we often go to was fully booked so we tried somewhere new but that meant the only safe choice was a salad for me.
Annoyances from my ex husband regarding child care and maintenance money, ex husband cut off our internet (was still in his name so instead of changing it to mine he cancelled the subscription) these are just a few things.

Yes I know that individually they may seem small but these have been dripping through my life and last night I just lost it.

I have a bad back so asked my partner to rub some deep heat cream on it to help me, the tube was empty and that was the last straw for me.
I totally lashed out and blamed him, I was upset, crying, angry and in some pain from my back. It all just erupted over the cream being empty and I was shaking and crying.

That for me was an emotional crisis. That's my definition.
After a while I calmed down and be helped me and was understanding.

So I have a few questions;

1. How do people cope when they find themselves in the middle of an emotional crisis. What do you do to ground yourself and actually think rationally.

2. How do people recognise the signs BEFORE this happens to prevent it in the first place?

All advice help and tips welcome

I am sorry (((icedgem))), I can experience this myself so I know what you are describing. What is happening is when dealing with too many things all at once, it can trigger the ptsd to get active where you experience that feeling of being overwhelmed which is what took place when you experienced a trauma where you developed ptsd. Sometimes our subconscious mind catastrophizes even when we simply do not want to experience this kind of challenge. You do have to talk yourself down and remind yourself that these things you are experiencing can get resolved and that you can work through this. The emotion is really more about fear that is bringing about more anxiety. People that struggle with ptsd don't like surprises, it can trigger them to struggle with anxiety that at times can get crippling.

I very much feel you. When I start to notice I'm getting this way, I try to limit my interactions with people. I also just try to tell people that I feel this way. Usually just admitting to others that I am overwhelmed and need help opens the door for them to be there for me. And believe it or not, people do want to help, they just need to know how.

When things are going wrong and it starts to take the toll emotionally, I try to remind myself which things I have control over and which I don't. I have control over my reactions, but not necessarily other things. And if it gets to the point where I just need to go scream in my car or in the shower, then I do that. But I do try my best not to direct my anger at someone, if I can help it. If I do, I try to apologize sincerely right away and listen to them if I hurt their feelings and try to make it right. It's okay to lose it every now and then. We're all human and we all get overwhelmed. So it shouldn't be hard for a reasonable person to understand that, since we all experience it.

I got to the place of recognizing it before it happens because it happened enough times that I started to recognize the patterns. I started paying attention to how the emotions felt. My therapist made me actually focus on the sensations in my body of each emotion that I was feeling - anger, sadness, irritability, anxiety. So now, when I start to feel really hot and like my skin is crawling, I recognize that I'm getting angry. So then I slow myself down and try and address that emotion, understand why I'm feeling that way, and see what I can do to calm it.

The first step to recognizing it is recognizing how you feel.

I don't know about you but I grew up in a violent and abusive household. So growing up that way, there was no time to deal with my emotions. It was survival. I had to react and react quickly to protect myself. In adulthood that became a maladaptive coping mechanism, and I had to learn to reprogram my reactions and give myself space to feel and deal with how I feel. It's very counter to how I grew up and my natural instinct, but it's so much more effective and causes far less damage.

I hope this helps.

Opne Eyes and seesaw have already gave you WISE and WONDERFUL advice just like they are so I won't add much more, @Icedgem. I'm not sure if this may help, but perhaps you may try to keep a journal and remind yourself ot the GOOD things in your Life? Sometimes it can help to do that! Also definitely talk things through with your husband when you feel particularly stressed out. I'm sure he'll be glad to support you when that's the case and know how to properly behave when you feel that way! I don't have much more to add, unfortunately I'd say keep taking care of yourself. That's the priority. Do everything that's in your power to reduce the stress! Keep fighting all the way through. You can do this and you've got this! Please NEVER give up HOPE. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Icedgem, your Family, your Friends, your Husband and ALL of your Loved Ones!

Thank you for the replies.
I find the mention of PTSD interesting however I'm not sure if that applies to me. I've done some reading about it and yes I haven't had the easiest ride in life but I'm not sure anything that has happened could have resulted in PTSD, how would I know?

Icedgem, when I checked out your about me you listed that you have ptsd. You say you have complex ptsd, but that is still ptsd. Have you had therapy for this?

Thanks, I wasn't aware my profile said that. I have never been diagnosed nor do I remember putting that on there?

Could have just been a mistake when you set up.your profile. I wasn't intending to suggest that you had ptsd, but it's possible to have learned maladaptive coping skills regardless. I was just meaning to relate my experience and what works for me. Hope it helps in some way.