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Old 09-11-2019, 01:57 AM   #11
Carmina
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Default Re: C-PTSD and Polyamory

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I am not sure how being in unnecessary pain is fostering development.
Honestly, it's not at all unusual for partners to struggle at first, even if it's just with jealousy and not anxiety. If I have some techniques to use I hope I can get through this. The thing is the same abandonment issues I have would affect our relationship even if we were monogamous and that worries me as I think it could lead to controlling and suspicious behaviour over time, I would rather root them out now even if it hurts for a while the hurt will diminish I hope. I know I may find my hopes are not correct, as a depressive it's easy for me to look at the negatives, but I fight that tendency too so why should I not also fight my other limitations - I do not want either of us to be held back by them. I have a lot of will power and have become a pretty resilient and adaptable person over time as I have had to be - my traumas don't determine me and I am far more than them.

Last edited by Carmina; 09-11-2019 at 02:38 AM..
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Old 09-11-2019, 04:29 AM   #12
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Default Re: C-PTSD and Polyamory

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. I am not sure how being in unnecessary pain is fostering development.
Also on this specific issue I know she loves me and will come back to me always - we are in this for life. My emotions just need to catch up with my rationality, that is where my struggle lies and experiencing her keeping coming back to me again and again, and me keeping coming back to her once I have partners too, and both of us feeling that love, I can't think of a better way to foster my development in relation to attachment and abandonment issues really.
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Old 09-13-2019, 06:29 AM   #13
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She is going to see her other lover again this weekend so any help would be appreciated. i have a session lined up with my art therapist tomorrow and have some activities planned including walking tomorrow and going to the cinema in the evening, then Sunday I will probably spend painting as it allows me to rechannel feelings of self-harm into something creative and engage directly with my feelings. We sent the last 2 days and nights together and made love more tenderly and beautifully than ever several times - it really allowed us to rebond and for me to feel our love and connection physically - i think my anxiety is on a very embodied level so just being told "I love you" or me trying to use cognitive techniques doesnt entirely work, I need to rewire stuff that is hard-wired into my nervous system and responses going back to early childhood.

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Old 09-13-2019, 06:33 AM   #14
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I did also have a date lined up for myself but that has fallen through which is a bit of a worry as I was hoping that would help during the night which will be hardest - I'll just have to take a sleeping pill I guess
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Old 09-13-2019, 09:34 PM   #15
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Default Re: C-PTSD and Polyamory

Are you practicing safe sex? Her sleeping with other people is very dangerous, I hope you are careful. I am not sure what exact help you need.
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