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Anonymous46341
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Default Sep 12, 2019 at 10:21 AM
  #1
I guess this is the right place for this.

I'm wondering if anyone ever felt they had a "love at first sight" experience. If so, was it more "lust at first sight"? Strictly related to appearance? Or was there more involved? And why do you think it happened?

I'm not really religious, but I guess there is a little bone in my body that believes things happen for a reason. I also believe that we can sometimes experience things like deja vu and love at first sight, for such reasons.

I've experienced situations where, at first sight, a person totally WOWed me. I guess perhaps factors were that they deep down reminded me of someone I had had a crush on (transference), or that something about their eyes or other appearance entranced me deeply. But I guess the strongest "love at first sight" experiences for me seemed a little deeper than that. There were two:

1. My husband - The first time I saw him we had exchanged an instantaneous "moment" of amusement because of another person's response. At the moment we looked at each other, we smiled widely and had that connection. But even beyond the connection of the amusement (at another's expense), our eyes seemed to twinkle and the smiles were the most beautiful we had ever seen. Sure enough, we began talking, and the first conversation was like a "BOOM!!" as well. When I finally left his office (it was at a job) I felt like I had seen someone that I would see again. It definitely became so.

2. My psychiatrist - Yes, this is a typical transference love, but it started as a love at first sight. Here's the story:

It was my first psychiatric hospitalization. In addition to being manic with mixed features, I was detoxing from alcohol. I remember the moment I saw him, vividly. I had just had a bad bought of violent shakes and mild hysteria from alcohol withdrawal. The nurse had come to me to comfort me. She went back to her desk, and my head was down. Then a giant figure (6' 6.5" tall to be exact) came towards me. The height, combined with him saying my name with the most mellifluous voice ever, made me lift my head. I remember looking at him in awe and immediately following him.

This psychiatrist took me to what seemed the smallest office I've ever seen. The difference in size between the room and him was striking. He asked me questions and I was able to spill everything out in one giant gush. I remember him looking at me continuously with a gentle look. After I finished, at times crying hysterically, he told me he would explain what was happening. He started drawing on a piece of paper what was a mood chart and did his best to explain what the heck a "mixed episode" was. Frankly, I didn't really understand, but thought he was a hero (an angel) for what he was doing. At the end of that meeting, he told me to gather any questions I had for our next session. I recall going back to my room and enthusiastically coming up with a very long list. [I write a lot anyway, as you can see.]

My next session with that doctor in the hospital was indeed long. It was also combined with a walk to an examination room for a physical. [The only one I've ever had from a psychiatrist.] I recall being a little nervous about him putting the stethoscope against my back and taking my pulse.

Of course, I eventually had to leave the hospital, and on to a PHP and IOP. When I left the IOP, I went to a psychiatrist that was stiff and downright horrible. I ended up back in the hospital again, and IOP. The stiff psychiatrist and my private therapist quit me because of some manic behavior towards them. I was without a mental healthcare team upon my release from the IOP. So my IOP therapist suggested a new psychiatrist. I remember her saying "This psychiatrist is really cool! Every day he rides his big motorcycle to work. His name is Dr. R****"

Holy Cr*p! That was the angel doctor! Of course I more than willingly agreed to see him, privately! And honestly, I have been utterly adoring the man since that first day. It's been about 15 years since then.

This doctor absolutely knows I adore him. If he had any doubt (he didn't), that was cleared up long ago when I flat out told him. He's almost as old as my father, but is not like my father at all. He has a beard and mustache, and actually looks a little like Sigmund Freud. He's one of the sweetest and most caring men I've ever known, besides my husband. My husband knows I practically worship the ground my psychiatrist walks on. My husband is not threatened by him, but teases me about it. My psychiatrist is very professional and ethical, so there's no risk of anything inappropriate happening. But I do know he has a soft spot for me.

I don't think I've even shaken my psychiatrist's hand, other than maybe the first time I met him, but I would love to just grab the guy and give him a bear hug and kiss. Maybe the very last time I ever see him he'll at least shake my hand again. It's not certain if he keeps this physical distance with all of his patients, or just me. It's just as well, though.
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TishaBuv
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Default Sep 12, 2019 at 06:52 PM
  #2
I’ve experienced strong mutual attraction that quickly turned into a loving relationship. You could use the expression “love at first sight”, but only in hindsight, after it has turned to love. You could say that you were both smitten right from the start. It’s really just infatuation, but it can turn into love.

I’ve also had times where I was really attracted to them, but them not to me and the other way around. Some of those times, we did date, but they did not turn into loving relationships.

So, for me, without the mutually attraction aspect, it did not become love. I know plenty of other people disagree and say they were friends first. But I never had that.

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Default Sep 13, 2019 at 12:14 PM
  #3
I met my husband when I was 18 and went to his dorm room looking for his roomate who wasnt there. We ended up having a very deep conversation for about an hour before my friends came looking for me. As I got up to leave and was in the doorway I turned and heard an absolute distinct voice say " you are going to marry this man" It was so odd I almost said something to him. It wasnt my thoughts or my inner voice. It was like hearing it but with your whole body, not just your ears or in your mind. The next day I broke up with my BF of 2 years and started hanging around my husband. We met in fall of 93'. Got engaged in October of 94' and married in September of 95. I was 20. I know what we have is rare, and we just celebrated our anniversery. We have three kids and we have suffered our share of pain but we are always a team and united.

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Default Sep 13, 2019 at 08:42 PM
  #4
There is no such thing as "love at first sight". There is attraction at first sight. Love grows out of trust & mutual respect & there is NO WAY for that to exist at first sight.

It is awesome when that attraction does grow into love.....but that is why so many are disappointed when a relationship doesn't work out because they erroneously think that their attraction was initially love when they don't even really know the person.

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