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WovenGalaxy
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,850
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#1
I deleted my OkCupid account. But this guy from had my phone number. We'd talked before through text but I felt uneasy and nervous to do the whole online dating thing once again. So I broke off communication.
He messaged me earlier this week. I was glad he did. We messaged a lot this week, had one brief phone convo (he's anxious over the phone), and went on a date irl today. It was very pleasant, and very awkward. He was very sweet, and anxious. He's also asexual, and I am not. I'm not sure what that entails for him. But my sex drive is low due to my antidepressant. A few times through text, I said some light physically affectionate things (for instance, I told him I found his profession a turn on). He reacted by saying things I felt pushed me away. Kind of snarky. We talked though (through text) and he said he just made crappy jokes and was oblivious. I do feel that I am anxious and get close quicker than I'd like in dating sometimes. It just kind of snowballs for me sometimes. I think real life dating is much better for,me than online and texting all the time. It gives this false feeling of closeness and familiarity. I much prefer talking about serious things too, irl or on the phone. Not in text. I do hope I didn't scare him away, but this is what happened: This evening, he told me he was just hanging out w his cat. We were having a text convo, and I thought "maybe we could talk in person." So I brought it up. I mean, he lives close by me. Why text? He replied with "Aw." And never said a peep again. That was like 2 hrs ago. The conversation died. I didn't say anything back because what kind of response is that? It hurt. I am assuming we will never see each other again now. And while that may be for the best, I'm just confused about this dude and bummed. I feel I've been pretty direct and communicative w him and I'm not sure I'm getting that back? We both agreed we enjoyed our date and wanted to do it again. So Idk. I feel weird about it now. Also I have been very vocal about not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He has said I'm fine. Idk though. I'm not asking what happened. More just really bummed and disappointed. Please don't judge me in responses. Thank you. Last edited by WovenGalaxy; Sep 14, 2019 at 08:59 PM.. |
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astoldbyginger, Fuzzybear, lightly toasted, TunedOut
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astoldbyginger
Is trying to keep it all together, but actually
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#2
It sounds more to me like you dodged a bullet. Congrats. And, feeling more comfortable talking irl is a great thing, definitely better than texting. To truly know a person is to feel their energy upfront, watch how they interact with strangers, how they interact with family, friends etc. Texting relationships don't give you that. If it's that he has social anxiety hopefully he can come to terms with it and start to communicate better.
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WovenGalaxy
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Grand Poohbah
TunedOut
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Member Since: May 2019
Location: USA
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#3
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WovenGalaxy
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Magnate
WovenGalaxy
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Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,850
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#4
Hi astoldbyginger and tuned out,
Thank you for your support and I agree. I've already decided he's not right for me. I was just feeling very bummed out about it last night. Also I don't know if I said this in my op, but he seemed interested because he constantly texted me and after our date he said he enjoyed himself and we should do it again. Before we met, he wanted to be FB friends, but I declined in case it didn't work out. I was just so bummed and disappointed and frustrated by his behavior. But you're right. He is not sure and I'm not going to spend anymore time on this. (Honestly, I wasn't feeling so sure myself). Last edited by WovenGalaxy; Sep 15, 2019 at 09:09 AM.. |
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