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rdgrad15
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#1
Does anyone feel uncomfortable interjecting themselves into other people's conversations? Do you think it can also be seen as rude to do so? Despite people telling me it's a good idea to get to know others and even during random moments of bravery where I decide to take the initiative to talk to someone, I refuse to inject myself into a conversation. I feel like it could be seen as rude to others even if you're just trying to get to know others.
And I've seen it happen to other people I know where I'll see them interject themselves into a conversation and the other group members will give them annoyed or confused glances at them. It's not like they were already a part of the conversation. It's more like there will be a group conversation taking place and they will overhear them and just start saying stuff to them. Would you see this as being kind of rude or off putting? I feel like it could be seen as that way. This is why I can't do this myself. There was only one case many many years ago where I approached a group of people who weren't really even talking and they got annoyed. I couldn't even dare do that to a group of people who are in a full conversation with each other. In cases where some of my friends have done that, only to complain later that they feel like no one wants to talk to them, I can sometimes see why some of them struggle with making friends or at least feeling like they don't belong in a group. A friend may interject themselves into a conversation, they get weird looks in response and then my friend will complain that they feel excluded and rejected. Usually I can relate, but in this scenario, I can understand why they feel rejected. It's because they interjected themselves at the wrong time. I'm more of the kind of person that will stand off to the side, while still looking approachable, and wait for someone to come and talk to me first. Or in some rare cases, I'll approach someone who seems to be alone as well. I'm a little more okay with that even though that still makes me nervous as well since there's still a possibility of rejection. Would you find it off putting if you noticed someone was just interjecting themselves into a conversation they were not a part of? It's one thing if you're invited into a group conversation, but interjecting yourself to the point where you're possibly annoying others is another. Just wondered what you guys thought. Last edited by rdgrad15; Sep 15, 2019 at 02:31 PM.. |
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#2
I'm rather socially awkward and afraid of talking in groups. I feel it's too much to keep up with and I don't have the social cues to know when I can speak or to know what to add to the conversation. But I agree, I think it is rude to interject someone's conversation.
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rdgrad15
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#3
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#4
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It's a skill. If you really want to learn, then you need to practice. A few good pointers can help get you started. Quote:
Why are you afraid of rejection? If you're not talking to anyone, then you begin at 0. If you attempt to talk to someone and are rejected, you remain at 0. You've lost nothing in the exchange. If you're smart about it, you may even have learned something from the attempt, and you can use this knowledge to better your approach in the future. |
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rdgrad15
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#6
Yes it’s difficult to do and I’m not always good at it. If a group is more than 4-5 other people I’m almost too shy to talk at all. The other day I had fun when went out with 4 others to eat, but felt my responses were interjected into the conversation somewhat poorly timed with almost interrupting others, but was excited to socialize and hadn’t been out in awhile. If go out on a regular basis do much better, but really dislike trying to have a conversation in a noisy bar and it always seems pointless and annoying.
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rdgrad15
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#8
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When you have a chance, watch how the extroverted and charismatic people handle themselves in conversation. They're not shy about talking over people if they need to. But the best conversationalists will also listen intently to everyone else in the group and address it appropriately. |
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rdgrad15
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#10
I agree that joining a conversation in progress is a skill. I’m not terribly great at it. One thing I’ve tried is to listen for a while and see if I even want to join the conversation. Some conversations just aren’t interesting OR, I don’t have anything relevant to say. If I do like the conversation and if there is an opportunity to laugh or contribute something to what somebody else has just said I will do that. I think most people are probably ok with others joining the conversation so long as they don’t try to take over and change the subject. Just my thoughts but yes, I do understand that it’s tricky at times and sometimes people really don’t want to include others.
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#11
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What really aggravates me is when I'm with a group of people who are talking about something that I obviously don't know anything about, and then one of them puts me on the spot because I haven't been talking. For example, I'm with three people who all share the same job and are talking about something work related. Since I don't work with them, nor do I work in that industry, I have no idea what they're talking about and thus have nothing to add. Regardless, one of them will stop the conversation to point out that I haven't said anything, and then accuse me of being shy. And then they get all shocked and confused because they put me in a position where I have to swear at them. On a side note, don't always assume that an extrovert is always going to be a good conversationalist. Just because someone talks a lot doesn't mean they're good at it. |
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rdgrad15
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rdgrad15
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#14
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I definitely feel awkward trying to interject myself into a small group as you describe. I rarely try- and when I do, no matter their reaction, I worry that they're judging me. __________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley |
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rdgrad15
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#15
Totally agree with you. And yes, I feel like I'm being judged too. And in a sense, it could be true since most people don't like it when someone who was not originally a part of the conversation just randomly joins in. I usually wait to be invited if I was not already a part of one and unless I am already a part of one, I am almost never invited. At most, and even this is rare, but if I'm close by to a group of people talking, they may briefly ask me a question if they were talking about something they weren't sure of but knew that I could possibly know an answer. But that is just very briefly.
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rdgrad15
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#18
people who bring down a light hearted interesting conversation...when there are plenty of other conversations they could join in..... is this 'just' selfishness. ugh. no idea. (not about anyone on pc)
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rdgrad15
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