Emotional outbursts after a death

About a year ago, something occurred with my mother that still bothers me to this day. I decided to take my mom out shopping one day. It was about 8 months after my dad had passed away. She had been his full time caregiver for 7 years leading up to his passing as he was paralyzed from a stroke. It had been a very difficult road for her. Anyway, after shopping one day we stopped at a McDonald's to grab a quick bite to eat. It just so happened that the McD's was busy and after ordering we discovered that there were no seats left to sit down. This had never happened to me before and we were not sure what to do. Stand there with our food till someone left? We noticed a table that had no one sitting at it but there was some papers and a laptop on the table. My mom asked the employees if they could clear that table so we could sit down and told them there was no where else to sit. The employee was dismissive and just said "someone is sitting there." My mom became furious and started yelling at the employee saying there were no other seats and to clean that table off NOW! She continued yelling saying that McD's was ridiculous and their seating was so stupid and "whats wrong with you people!!" Needless to say, several people sitting at tables had stopped eating and were just staring at us. I was extremely embarrassed. One man hearing the yelling, looked like he was quickly finishing his food then stood up and said "here you can have my table". He was very kind and I thanked him for that. But I actually felt kind of angry at my mom for the outburst. I also was annoyed at the McD's employees , but I guess it's not their fault if there are no seats left. But it puts a paying customer in a bind not to have a place to sit. It was just a bad situation. I think my mom was having a type of emotional melt down of sorts and I think it was from the stress of my dad's paralysis and passing.

someone could have been in the bathroom which might have been why the table was empty.

she got her seat...thankfully the guy got up...was the outburst due to caring for your father? who knows? was she prone to these prior? it might have been or not. I cared for my mother for years and never went vocal at places when there was no seats immediately available...it's not like your family is oh so special..no one would know that immediately. there are seats outside, and in the worst case..you wait for a table or even take your food to the car and eat there.

employees can't rush people along who are eating. that isn't their job. if you went during a prime time period, you should have known to expect crowds. there are only a limited amount of seats. like I mentioned the person with the computer probably was either ordering or I n the bathroom, both legitimate scenarios.

maybe next time go to a pace with a hostess and more seating. or bring take out home. mom may have these outbursts again./

Unless she was having these outbursts on a routine basis I doubt it had anything to do with your father passing.

I think anyone could possibly have a meltdown over something just because ... well it happens a lot.

Years ago I needed to run in my local grocery store for a literal handful of items, I actually like to shop this way , if I can’t carry it I don’t need it mentality for a quick few items I need , stops impulse buying ...

Well I go grab a bag of rice, and a couple boxes of pasta and I don’t know what else, but that damn rice kept falling out of my hands so after dropping it for the 6th or 103rd time I literally threw all the crap on the floor in the middle of the aisle and promptly ranted about that gawd damn rice falling.

I’m sure lots of people looked at me like I was nuts! I kicked the boxes out of my way probably a couple times, end result was a meltdown, I finally caught my breath and looked at the dented boxes and that ridiculous bag of rice , picked them up and went to the check out.

Maybe I was more exhausted or stressed that day? Maybe my boss was a freaking Jerk, could have been the traffic. Or it simply could have been the straw that broke that damn camels back that day.

I have only had something similar happen one other time. It involved me trying on sports bras and couldn’t get the damn thing back off as in no freaking way, I struggled and jumped and hopped and cursed, the poor dressing room attendant had to listen to it, I finally gave up , opened the door and asked her to please cut the tags off so I could pay for it and I’d just cut it off me after I got home. Which is exactly what I did lol

Maybe your mom was tired and hungry and literally she just wanted to sit the hell down and eat the fries before they got cold. We all know how much they suck if they are cold lol

I’m sorry you were embarrassed, I’m sure if someone had been with me that day they would have felt that way because of my actions.

I think it was nice of that gentlemen to hurry and offer his table. Chivalry isn’t dead!!!

I would start watching for signs of dementia. My mother had a subtle personality change but it included outbursts that were kind of irrational, like you describe.

Like Christina, I have had a few (more than two) of these meltdowns in my life (and they are not characteristic of my usual self)----I felt embarrassed (I once left a job over this even when the boss tried to keep me I was just so ashamed)
because I never saw them coming.
Usually, it was a result of either being just really physically or emotionally tired or 'triggered' by something I didn't expect but should have...again usually tired...stressed...
It has made me much more tolerant of others having a meltdown, and more likely to try to do something to help that person (eg: at work one day when I was filling in as an agency staff, a man came roaring into the office screaming at the staff behind the counter about his bill, began to climb over the counter at them; and I was able to walk over, talk him away with me to 'resolve' the issue. It turned out he was wrong and the bill was correct but I took time to sit with him and review the records until he saw that himself.
(if someone is doing this is intoxicated or having psychotic experiences the approach is different...)