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Old 10-08-2019, 04:16 PM   #1
Kayeli
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Trig Is something wrong with me..stay or go

I have been married for 14 years to my current husband. Over the years he has succeeded in forbidding me to be part of my family's life. He throws fits until I finally give up on seeing them..that even includes my grown children. I call but..he throws another fit for days if i talk too much or too long..
He has pushed me..shoved me..and bruised my arms..though he says i just bruise easily. I want to leave..but i have a 3 year old..i have heath issues that keep me from working though i dont get any Gov. Benefits.
Now he has informed me that though i give him sex atleast 2 or 3 times a week..that he never been happy and he wants to bring another woman to our bed for me. First i am not bi curious...though for some it's fine but for me its morally wrong. Not only that but he has always been extremely jealous if i even spoke to another man. He is always pushing me for **** sex..i tried but it was extremely painful for me..and though fun for him..i felt nasty and in pain afterwords. He says he no longer wants anything to do with me because i wont even consider his idea. What can i do or say to make him understand that i just cannot do what he wants

Last edited by atisketatasket; 10-08-2019 at 09:12 PM.. Reason: added trigger
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Old 10-09-2019, 12:13 AM   #2
~Christina
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Default Re: Is something wrong with me..stay or go

Your an abused woman. What he is doing is not right, normal or okay on any level.

He over the years has “ groomed” you to stay away from family and friends..

Even married it gives him no right to demand sex of any kind.

Please look into local women’s shelter you can escape too... it will give you and you baby a safe secure setting to help you divorce him and move forward in life, there are many resources they can help get you signed up for.

He’s not a husband, he’s an abuser.

You deserve to be safe emotionally and physically.
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Old 10-09-2019, 06:15 AM   #3
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Default Re: Is something wrong with me..stay or go

Plan an escape. First get in touch with the domestic abuse hotline:National Domestic Violence Hotline | Get Help Today | 1-800-799-7233
And talk to professionals on how to plan a safe escape.
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Old 10-09-2019, 08:21 AM   #4
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Default Re: Is something wrong with me..stay or go

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kayeli View Post
I have been married for 14 years to my current husband. Over the years he has succeeded in forbidding me to be part of my family's life. He throws fits until I finally give up on seeing them..that even includes my grown children. I call but..he throws another fit for days if i talk too much or too long..
He has pushed me..shoved me..and bruised my arms..though he says i just bruise easily. I want to leave..but i have a 3 year old..i have heath issues that keep me from working though i dont get any Gov. Benefits.
Now he has informed me that though i give him sex atleast 2 or 3 times a week..that he never been happy and he wants to bring another woman to our bed for me. First i am not bi curious...though for some it's fine but for me its morally wrong. Not only that but he has always been extremely jealous if i even spoke to another man. He is always pushing me for **** sex..i tried but it was extremely painful for me..and though fun for him..i felt nasty and in pain afterwords. He says he no longer wants anything to do with me because i wont even consider his idea. What can i do or say to make him understand that i just cannot do what he wants
I agree with what everyone else has said. Additionally, are there any close friends and family members which you can secretly contact to explain your situation? Perhaps they will be able to help you out.
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:16 PM   #5
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You can do this!
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Old Today, 01:54 AM   #6
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Default Re: Is something wrong with me..stay or go

Hi Kayeli—
Unfortunately Christina’s right and SarahSweets has the plan: What you wrote sounds like you are being abused:
Cutting you off from family and friends (if it’s only him talking to you he can manipulate you more easily)
Using rage and threats to control you (does he listen and communicate or does he use language to hurt you and make you feel bad?)
Physically assaulting you (it will get worse, and would a true partner in life hurt you agsin and again?)
Sexually assaulting you (using intimidation and threats for his—not your—gratification is not the act of a loving, caring partner?)

It took a while for me to realize that my wife didn’t want a partnership: she just needed to control me and manipulate me into being and doing what she needed. She’s not evil, she’s just dysfunctional and could never be a partner who loved and cared for me—and she was just getting more and more violent toward me and her stepdaughter. At some point (summer 2016) I realized I had to start giving up the dreams of what our life together could have been because that could never happen, and start over. And I’ve started over; I took my younger daughter (summer 2017–yeah it took a while!) and we left, and life has been so much better since we did.

I hope you can sort out the difference between the things that you can change, the things you can’t, and see through the confusion created by all the bad feelings to get to a place and time where you snd your children can learn to be free again.
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