Breaking up with a toxic friend.

I thought this article was pretty good and relatable. It contains a few curse words so mods, if that is not allowed please delete. In particular I think it really applies to women and female friendships.

Breaking Up With Toxic Friends Won’t Be Easy, But It’s So Necessary - xoNecole

Thanks for the article. I will have to keep that in mind!

Thanks Sarah ! Great article

Thanks for this. I actually had someone who was trying to cozy up to me in the name of friendship. Ironically she claimed everyone she met was toxic, but SHE was the truly toxic person! I can see how she felt others were toxic towards her, but she couldn't see that she was actually the common ingredient and the person setting off the way people responded or reacted to her. So she would do something quite inappropriate, someone would then react or respond angrily, and therefore that person was toxic, because they were justifiably upset at her bad behavior.

She would lash out at me if I disagreed with her on something, and I had to flat out say to her, "I'm allowed to not agree with you on a topic, and that doesn't mean I'm attacking you, simply because I disagree with you on something or see it a different way." I was pretty good at setting boundaries with her. Then she got mad at some other people in our friend group and left, but then wanted me to be sort of close friends separately with her, and I basically declined that offer. I mean actually what she told me was that she was leaving our friend group and that I could reach out to her if I ever wanted. A month went by and I hadn't reached out because I didn't want to, and she emailed me a very nasty message about what a terrible person I was for never checking up on her and making sure she was okay. It was really out of this world how she could not see the disconnect between her own words and actions from one day to the next. I quickly blocked all contact with her because that's some next level "not right" ****.

So...I say all that to say: I get wary of people who claim others are "toxic." Toxicity is actually specific to an environment or situation. Someone who is toxic to you may not be toxic to another. A work environment that is toxic for me can work quite fine for others. Think about it? Oxygen can be toxic under certain circumstances. Toxicity isn't black and white. What are you (general) bringing to the situation that's allowing it to be toxic?

And, all that said, yes, some people are just jerks and we should all just walk away and not give it a second thought.

I'm actually kind of anti social that is trying to be friendly with people. But sometimes, people are toxic to you. I just ignored it until you come to the point that it's Enough and I return back to being anti social again.

Being anti social seems like a loser or whatever but it gives you more Independence and you're not controlled by anyone else.

Thanks for posting this

I think toxic people are toxic no matter who they are with. In other words, they are toxic to everyone, even those who appear to get along with them. In order to get along with a toxic person, you have to agree with everything they say AND be under their command. Agreeing with everything someone says and being under their command may enable you to get along with them, but that's still toxic.