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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#1
My heart is heavy...It just never seems to fail.. no matter how hard I try. And I am taken advantage of because men will see how forgiving I am.. example: we will text, and then he won’t respond to my last text for no good reason except that he knows he can and he knows he will hear from me, or that I’ll respond to him even if he ignored me..
how can I change this dynamic? He knows if he doesn’t reply to my text I’ll ask if he is ok or reach out the next day.. ugh...nice girls just don’t win! |
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Bill3, bpcyclist, bshaffer836, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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#2
I am with you but not necessarily with regard to men. I thinking I have to make a list of what I do wrong and then make a list of how I am going to act going forward.
Kind of Like George Costanza on Seinfield. Do the opposite. |
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bpcyclist
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#3
i despise being ignored..I get maybe my behavior is perceived as a bit needy, but then again his behavior is kind of inconsiderate also.
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bpcyclist, WovenGalaxy
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WovenGalaxy
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#4
What if you don’t write to him when he doesn’t reply?
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bpcyclist, WovenGalaxy
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Location: Nyc
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#5
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Bill3, bpcyclist
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#6
Re: Thread Title.
Yes. Have boundaries and enforce them. Being kind of heart doesn't mean you have to be a pushover. Incidentally, it's the pushovers and people pleasers who turn out to be the biggest dicks deep down inside. Why does it matter? If he's mad at you, then it's on him to tell you why. The silent game is for children. If he's deliberately ignoring you for whatever reason, whether it's manipulation or inconsideration, then he's the one who's being an asshole. |
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bpcyclist
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: earth
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#7
You should realize that some people are busy, but if he is always ignoring your messages, then you should just ignore him. I always respond to my man's messages and vice versa. At times, I may take my time in responding and so does he but we always respond within a day. Nice people do win at times. You just have to find a nice man.
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bpcyclist
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Bill3
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
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#8
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bpcyclist, bpforever1
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Location: Portland
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#9
I don't want to make you mad or further upset you, but I actually think that this is about you, not him. Other people are always and forever going to do what they are going to do. No amount of texting and fretting and stressing and worrying is going to change that. If it did, he would not be doing this any more. But he is. And so, you are left with a man who is not meeting your needs and yourself. The only one you can do anything about is you. I would step back and reassess the relationship. Am I enjoying this? No. Does he seem to care? It appears not. Does he seem to appreciate me? Again, evidently not. So, then what exactly are you doing with this guy?
There are many kind, thoughtful men out there who are interesting and smart and handsome who will not blow off your attempts to communicate. I understand that being alone can be lonely, but you are better off finding the right guy than chasing around someone who cannot even be bothered to respond to a simple text. Nice women do not always finish last. But some men are jerks and they will try to take advantage of your sweet disposition. Don't let them do it. You deserve better. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Bill3, bpforever1, WovenGalaxy
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#10
You are a nice person. But there is one person you are not being nice to.
If you contact him when he is ignoring you, you are being not nice to you. What if you gave yourself the niceness that you get nothing for when you give it to him? Be nice to Disney2019. Move on from this guy. |
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist, bpforever1, Open Eyes, WovenGalaxy
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#11
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Bill3, bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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#12
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Bill3, bpcyclist
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Bill3
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#13
There is only one solution to all this: don’t date wrong men. It’s usually obvious after few dates if a man is really seriously into you and if he is a good partner. No need to go beyond few dates.
I think you have a misconception that nice women finish last. It’s incorrect. Ton of nice women are in happy healthy relationships. You can be nice and happy. But you have to respect yourself. No need to waste time on these type of guys. Also you can’t change people. This dude is who he is plus he isn’t very interested. So dump him and don’t look back. You deserve better I have to add that none of it is easy especially when you are very young, which I suspect you are?. When I was young I wasted time dating wrong guys too. As I got older I realized that’s it is a total waste of time dating anyone who isn’t 100% great match. Longer you hang out with wrong men, less chance you have to meet right ones because you are not available to meet nice guys |
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bpcyclist
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Bill3, bpcyclist
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Crowned "The Good Witch"
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#14
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There's a difference between being nice and being a soft gullible doormat. There's also a time to know when the relationship is going well and when to let go. It sounds you're also having unreasonable expectations with what you want with these guys you date. If he's really not interested, why bother chasing him? |
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bpcyclist
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#15
I think you need to let him go....
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#16
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#17
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Bill3
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Bill3
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#18
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I am not suggesting you should chase perfection. No one is perfect. You just have to have clear standards and firm understanding of what works for you and what doesn’t. This clearly isn’t working |
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Bill3, Disney2019
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#19
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Disney2019
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Disney2019
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Location: Nyc
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#20
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Fuzzybear
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