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sarahsweets
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Default Oct 26, 2019 at 12:22 AM
  #21
Hey @theoretical
Wow good but loaded topic. I would seriously need to weigh the importance of my involvement and check my motives. What will I get out of this and will it truly help the person I think is the victim? Will the bully stop the behavior or learn something? Will I feel just and righteous about interfering? Will I feel like a better person because I spoke up? Is this my issue or a law enforcement issue? I made the mistake of getting wrapped up and inserted myself into a friends' bad marriage. Believe me this husband was a jerk and treated her like crap and she said she wanted me to back her up when he told him she wanted him to leave. So all revved up I opened my mouth when they were fighting knowing how wrong he was. Guess what? They stayed together and I stopped talking to her. Like divine said a child or limited capacity individual is a no brainer- get involved. And two of my children are adults and I cant promise mama bear would stay put if I thought they were right and being treated unfairly but truly, would I really solve anything by interjecting or would I ultimately undermine the victim (or my adult children). I suppose the safest bet would be to ask the victim if the bully's actions bother them and ask why they have trouble addressing it and if they would want to. But ultimately it is their job and none of my business.

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Default Oct 27, 2019 at 11:04 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
So all revved up I opened my mouth when they were fighting knowing how wrong he was. Guess what? They stayed together and I stopped talking to her.[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
The sort of repayment that feels like a swift kick in the nuts. Did you confront her about it? Demand monetary compensation for time wasted?

I suppose it makes sense, though. Abusers spend years breaking down the self-esteem of their intended victim. It isn't like some good samaritan is going to undo all of that mind****ery in a single afternoon over tea. I'm not even sure it's possible to restore someone's confidence if that person is living under the same roof as their abuser and being subjected to gaslighting for hours every day.
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