I messed up

Two years ago I made a very stupid mistake
It's like i'm not even a person anymore. I feel just an idiot but my heart knows
For some reasons I can't really recover. It's not someone's else fault
I hope people around will be ok

Please don't be stupid in relationships.
Take your time, breathe. Be correct
Don't dive too soon if you have unsolved personal issues. Take your time to think
Good luck

-Sorry if i don't write the story
Just a brief message

I have made similar mistakes. I would not call it "stupid," but rather a learning experience or some sort of blind spot. I am sorry you went through that.

I remember your story. Continue to take the time to heal and recover. Eventually you won't feel as much like an idiot (been there). You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about; it is just that you need to learn to be less judgemental of yourself. You already have come a long ways and you are going to recover from this. Be loving a patient with yourself. You are deserving!!!

So true!

I close up in relationships.

(((((((((( hugs ))))))))))

Thank you Fuzzy )

I wish i'd been wiser/smarter and kinder
I dream of going back to that day and keep control

I hope your soul will find comfort and balance and your rationality will help you through, too
I hope life gives you what it took away from you
I'm really sorry, i've been terribly stupid

@Gasplessy Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone can be forgiven. Please be gentle with yourself. I hope you feel better

We are all fallible humans, Gasplessy. Everyone falls short of the Gold Standard. It is hte human condition. If you cannot stay connected to that fact, you risk doing more harm to yourself by being unforgiving and mean to you. Please cut yourself some slack. we just can't get through this life without making a bunch of mistakes.

Edit
Sorry

Gasplessy. It is just a mistake you made. Of course you can be a person. Everyone Everyone, Everyone, Everyone makes mistakes

PS did i say Everyone?

Thank you, lonelyman
I deleted the post because i was feeling really bad when i wrote, and used this thread as a diary
I better write on paper

Yes, everyone makes mistakes

In 2017 i probably did the most non-sense yet painful thing I've ever done in all my life

I wish there was some kind of supernatural force to talk to, ask question, cry
For the first time in my life, I feel so bad

I use to fix what i could, to fight... but this is just a lost battle, a black-hole in my life and the life of the people who meet me two years ago and past...

I've always been a mostly quiet and patient, but i completely lost control in this 2-3 years and it was so painful

Sorry this thread is just non-sense
I can't explain in detail because it is too complicated

Thanks anyway

I don't know what happened to me
I know I sound immature but that's true
I can't go on
I could not imagined this would have ever happened in my life
I feel I'm at the end of my journey

No quote, please
Sorry

I'm sorry you're in pain It sounds like you're being very hard on yourself. I think like most everyone I have made mistakes, (who doesn't? Only a Super Being...….) the only way to hope to heal is to hold onto hope that ….. there is hope that …..

Thank you so much

You struggle with ptsd, that means you need to be extra patient with yourself while you work on learning how you may have not responded in situations that resulted in a better outcome. Something triggered you, you reacted on that probably, that can happen with ptsd and you cannot change how you reacted, all you can do is learn from what happened and forgive yourself.

I can't believe the domino effect that happen in the only moment that I was so fragile
Everything went out of control and mad in my life and others'
I always defend other people but last year I was so in need of support for the first time of my life because I could feel that I had to fix

I've been in a paradox and want to scream
My father is now ill, my love who i couldn't contact in almost an year has been into trouble and i never had this mess in my life before
I've been a practical and down to earth person in my life, i can't really believe what happened last year.
this will be a non sense and bitter end
Unable to fix it now. Not an excuse
People i accidentally damaged probably won't recover because they live in a poor social environment and are depressed bu i can't contact anymore
Hope everyone could be ok

(Rant -please don't quote)

You are embracing a lot of regret and while I don't know your story, it's important you don't beat yourself up because something happened that you genuinely did not know how to react to.

How are you doing today Gasplessy?

Hello, thank you

Honestly not really fine... this time I find it hard to heal. I learnt the lesson but I struggle with the way the "separation" with this person happened -we were never really together... it may sound absurb that i'm so emotionally involved but i had feelings and he had some too. If he hasn't i would have never went this crazy i think
One never knows in this life, but it's important to try if we feel like it and I really didn't. I behaved non-sense
Now it's of course too late for everything but i can't let it go in my mind

But what I find more disturbing is the idea that he lost a lot of time and maybe will go through pain and disappointment because of this and because I had feelings for him and also the older person, I can't stand it well. I didn't, wouldn't and won't control him somehow because we are not in touch anymore anyhow, but i try to control it in my mind like imagine the time could go backwards til the day i met him as i grown woman i can only advise to don't indulge in useless mental sh*it and moans but "still I cling" (quote)
I hope he will be well