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ZYXw
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Default Nov 14, 2019 at 03:28 PM
  #1
My fiancé and I have been together for about a year. He seems to have issues with my past relationships and trying to compare himself to them. Constantly asking if I have ever felt how I feel about him now about anyone else. He doesn’t like when I have casual conversations about my past. If a story gets told about my past he relates it to when I was married prior or dating someone prior. He has been married before as have I, we both have kids. I try to make him feel reassured but this continues to come up. I don’t know how to help him to just realize everyone has a past and it is just that. . A past. That it doesn’t matter now and it can not be changed. Any advise ?
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Bill3
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Default Nov 14, 2019 at 10:55 PM
  #2
You want to change a significant part of who he is.

It sounds like a big ask.

Unless he is willing to go consistently to therapy, my advice is to assume that he is going to continue to act as he does now.

To what extent is that a dealbreaker for you?
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Buffy01
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Default Nov 15, 2019 at 06:07 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZYXw View Post
My fiancé and I have been together for about a year. He seems to have issues with my past relationships and trying to compare himself to them. Constantly asking if I have ever felt how I feel about him now about anyone else. He doesn’t like when I have casual conversations about my past. If a story gets told about my past he relates it to when I was married prior or dating someone prior. He has been married before as have I, we both have kids. I try to make him feel reassured but this continues to come up. I don’t know how to help him to just realize everyone has a past and it is just that. . A past. That it doesn’t matter now and it can not be changed. Any advise ?
He maybe suffering from codepency
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TheSadGirl
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Default Nov 16, 2019 at 09:33 AM
  #4
Out of curiosity, do you know of any past relationships of his, romantic or otherwise, where he was compared to others and made to feel inadequate?
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