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Newly Joined
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: Far away
Posts: 1
4 |
Nov 19, 2019 at 10:02 PM
#1
So I'm 21 and I've been friends with a girl for about 7 years. We've never liked each other or had any form of sexual relations but we were close friends. During my second year of friendship with her I met my gf who I've been with for 5 years now and who also went to the same highschool with my friend. The relationship is great but my gf never really had a liking to my friend.
Last year, I used my gf's phone to prank my friend where I messaged her as if I were my gf and told her that things were not going so great and I may have to leave the country to which my friend expressed sorrow (all of this was shown before during and after to my gf to which she also found funny). Later that night my gf and I went out with my friend and her bf at the time. After a pretty good night we were saying goodbye and my friend kissed me on my cheek, then immediately found out about the prank I pulled so she hit me in my face, which she thought was a playful way to get back at me. I didn't think anything of the time because I knew I had pranked her but my gf was infuriated and demanded an apology. My friend's response was "I'm sorry, but I didn't hit him that hard". My gf hated this because she views a slap on the face regardless of intention as highly disrespectful and she felt like the apology deserved no merit because my friend didn't understand why exactly she was wrong given that her intention wasn't spiteful. Although I do think it's wrong to hit anyone in the face, I thought, because she didn't intend to humiliate or truly injure me, that it's no big deal and I'll move on. My gf however has never let go and thinks my friend is toxic and stupid. She also feels like I'm "not on her side" because I forgave my friend so easily and that her effort to stand up for me (which I thanked her for) was a waste if time. Now I'm not sure what to do. My personal feelings is that I want to judge the context of the situation entirely but my gf outright hates my friend, doesn't understand why I forgave her and hates the idea of me talking or hanging out with my friend anymore even though I've know her long before my gf. But I came here because I really need a another opinion. I'm someone who's finds it easy trust and love because I expect nothing in return. But now I can't help but feel like I'm doing something very wrong. I don't want to continue upsetting my gf but I also don't want to randomly cut my good friend off without any personal reason. Was I wrong to forgive my friend? Should I stop talking to her? Please give your feedback |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2018
Location: US
Posts: 422
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Nov 19, 2019 at 11:03 PM
#2
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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Nov 19, 2019 at 11:52 PM
#3
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Ok so this prank happened last year ??? Why hasn’t this been discussed and resolved Or am I reading your post wrong ? __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 603
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Nov 20, 2019 at 08:37 AM
#4
You don't realise the implications of the prank and the result. Sorry to be so harsh, but these actions often have repercussions you don't like. There's a simple phrase "know your audience".
Bear in mind that your gf sees you as her possession and is wary/jealous of your friendship with this other female. Way of the world I'm afraid. Same for females who have good male friends. We've lost touch now (sadly) but I was friendly with a guy I worked with. His wife wanted little to do with me, possibly she saw me as a threat to their relationship. As for the slap, she was wrong to do it. Perhaps you need to sort this out with both of them in a mature way. 
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 guy1111
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Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Galaxy far far away
Posts: 98
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Nov 20, 2019 at 12:21 PM
#5
Whether your friend was right or wrong to slap you depends on your value systems and the relationship between the two of you. If you want to forgive her that is entirely your business. In my opinion your girlfriend does not have a say in this. If you don’t have any sexual attraction towards this friend, then whether you guys fight or make up does not affect your relationship with your girlfriend. She is exhibiting signs of controlling behaviour. Whether you want to allow it or want to set boundaries is, once again, your own decision.
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Bill3
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Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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Nov 20, 2019 at 11:29 PM
#6
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 1,280
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Nov 21, 2019 at 03:03 AM
#7
Maybe you are blind to the sexual undercurrents you have with your friend and your gf is savvy enough to see it. A little mild sexual tension is not unusual in a male female friendship even if you are just friends. The slap? Your girlfriend is the more objective outside party observing this. If she thought it was inappropriate (too hard or that your friend was too upset),maybe she is onto somethingthatyou dont see. Wait for things to cool down. If she still thinks the girl is a little weird,maybe you should decide who is more important to you.
I think it was like playing with fire to do that particular prank, almost playing the two women off against each other. Maybe you deserved the slap. __________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Chyialee, Middlemarcher
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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