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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 603
5 229 hugs
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Nov 20, 2019 at 09:37 AM
#1
A UK monthly magazine recently published a feature about care of elderly relatives by daughters.
The main theme was should a daughter sacrifice her own life for a "tyrannical mother who made her promise never to put her in a home". Health problems were brought on by the pressure of looking after the demanding mother until her final days. The question asked by another reader was should she put her own health and relationships at risk. Before this article was published, I discussed this with my doctor. He was adamant I should take care of myself. How can you do this when you're either an only child, or in my case have unsupportive family. 
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Member
Member Since May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 89
8 23 hugs
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Nov 20, 2019 at 10:30 AM
#2
I think the ultimate decision should be health related, is this elderly parent needing round the clock medical attention? If your having her move in with you, what can you do to establish some ground rules? Things that will protect you from bad relationship traits you've had with her in the past?
I've known some people who have experienced a new and better relationship with their parent after having to do this arrangement. But, they were both investing in it working, they didn't have other options. If they are already in the state of being unable to communicate well, such as dementia, you may be able to get help from a professional caregiver. I think this is far from an easy choice. If you research into options you might find something that suits both of your needs better. What are her thoughts on this? Is she planning this with you? |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
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Nov 20, 2019 at 10:31 AM
#3
I have this same issue that will soon blow up my in my face. The nursing home is not so bad. It’s just that the mother demands to be taken care of by the children. If she were a pleasant mother, the children may insist on taking in mom. But too hard to cope with at the cost of our own health is too much to ask. I rue the day mom is bodily removed by the government healthcare, fighting and screaming 😱. I know this will happen though because she refused to listen to reason, accept reality and prepare.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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