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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: Seattle
Posts: 735
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#1
Long time - hello.... Anyway I’ve been talking to this lovely lady for a couple of months now. I’ve bought her flowers and she seems receptive. Yesterday I told my therapist that I was thinking about taking it a step further.... however, I’m getting more concerned about my physical status and what sort of burden that might put on any other person. I’m turning 65 this year and I have a few ongoing health issues that I have under control. That said, I’m still very concerned that at any moment I might become unable to do the things I want and this is always in the back of my mind. It would be nice to have someone in my life but I’m really wrestling with getting to close because of said reasons. Thanks for listening....👍
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 210
5 2 hugs
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#2
I think a frank conversation with this lady might help, at least it's what I would do. Tell her what you told us. If she's interested after everything you've told her, awesome. If not, it's ok. You will no longer have to worry about getting too close, and perhaps make it a point that you would still like to remain friends if she's not interested in taking a step further
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Discombobulated, Macd123
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#3
Hi ! I say spend some time with her. I don’t know why people think they need to bare there soul and rattle off any health problems right away. You might hit date 3 and realize you don’t really like her all that much.
Just ask her out and enjoy a nice meal and let the conversation flow. If a guy rattled off his health problems too soon I know I would likely walk the other way. Don’t overthink things.... __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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bpforever1, Macd123
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
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#4
I've gotten to the point where if I am not interested in that person, I don't divulge personal information. Sometimes one has sixth sense about who will accept you as you are and those who won't. I think you should wait to tell about your health issues until you know the person well. I have rattled off my illness at different times to different people. I think the best time to tell someone is when you feel that person can be a friend and someone who cares about you. Until then, you may risk having to tell each person you date about your illness. It is not worth it at that rate. I would only share such information with those who you think can be a friend first and will stick it out with you. If they are and they don't take it well still, then they are not worth it and it is not a loss for you but someone who you can do without.
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Posts: n/a
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#5
Macd123: be honest with everyone you meet about what your physical limitations are. The more upfront and honest you are, people will respect you and understand your boundaries. Not every woman you meet will be willing to date you because of your illness, but that's a risk you take when you want to date. Not sharing information upfront with women you have a romantic interest in, is unfair to you both. Best to be upfront because the right woman will accept you with your illness.
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Iloivar
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Elder Harridan x-hankster
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 39,834
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#6
You know me, im not a bible thumper, but i believe the good book recommends the breath of young maidens for you old guys. So i wouldnt worry about it. Play it as it lays.
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