Bipolar ex

Hello,
This is my first post. I have depression and am in need of advice please. My ex, who is bipolar and has PTSD, broke up with me about a year ago due to struggles with his mental health. I adopted his dog as well at this time because he couldn't deal. We have remained very close friends, talking almost every day. Yesterday I found out he has been dating someone for six months (I found a note where she told him she loves him). It hit me hard! If he hasn't done anything to better care for his mental health then this means he left me because he never loved me, right? Does this also mean I still love him? Any insight is much appreciated.

Hi Blanch. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you feel hurt as your ex has explored other romantic situations.

I think this sounds like a bipolar behavior in the manic phase. It does not mean your relationship was not valid, but the person you were in that relationship, may have had untreated bipolar mania which can lead to all kinds of risky behavior and can destroy relationships.

This article offers some insights into bipolar relationships. What Happens to Love in a Bipolar Relationship

Rather than blame yourself or discredit your relationship, you may want to research more about bipolar hypomania and see that it was not your ex did not love you, but they were disabled by the bipolar and may have even had psychotic breaks. They may have even saddled their new relationship with all the baggage that led to your break up with your ex. So now that person is struggling like you were. Sad as that is, maybe in one sense it could be a relief you no longer have to carry the burdens that bipolar places on a relationship.

^^^ I have been in this situation playing the part of your ex. Long time ago. Trying to get hold of my out-of-control mania and psychosis. My wife left me, exhausted. I was still out of my mind, but manic people can be very charming, as you well know, and I quickly replaced my wife with a younger, riskier version of herself. I then transmitted all my stuff onto the new girl, who shortly realized what I was really all about. Unfortunately, she had fallen in love with me by then and, to top it all off, become pregnant!! Typical manic flail.

We had a beautiful child who is 11 now and somehow got through that mess. I cannot tell you whether we are still together today, because we are still working through some stuff.

My current/maybe-current/not-sure partner did, in fact, contact my now ex-wife back then and ask for the low-down on me. That was very wise. But she didn't listen to her, because--she loved me.

Not saying you should contact this woman. But it wouldn't be wrong in my opinion to do so, either, should the opportunity present itself.

Symptomatic bipolar people do not make rational decisions. Stop putting this on you. Stop questioning yourself. Don't replay the past with a manic person--you will get nowhere with that. Look to the future and move on. Sending you positive vibes and support.

Thank you for the resources.

Thank you bpcyclist for the honest, helpful advice. Good luck with your own relationship struggles. Sending you positive vibes and support as well.