At what point do I call it quits?

I am at the point where I am questioning if my relationship is even worth fighting for anymore. At what point does one call it?

Feels like no matter what I do it is never good enough. He doesnt listen, is incapable of seeing my point of view or refuses to see it. He speaks to me in such a way that I feel guilty and shamed. I feel beaten down and am constantly trying to fight my way back up.

He wants me to change but has has unrealistic expectations that seem to have gotten even harder to reach each year but is unwilling to change his expectations. I have found myself not caring to try anymore and feel so alone with no one to talk to that has an unbiased opinion or advice on how to move forward or things I can try to get through to him.

Our almost 2 year old boy complicates my decision on whether I stay or go coming from a broken family as I cannot be with out him and I have a feeling if we ended things he would make it a very long and difficult process. Do I sacrifice my happiness and stay in a marriage where I am no longer happy? Or do I caall it and prepare myself for the long journey ahead I can predict would happen?

Both of my daughters have been where you are. My advice to them was: Decide what you want to do and go to it. Don't wait for the other to decide what you do. If you decide to stick it out, be aware the probably will never change. If you decide to go I'm sure there's help to be had. It's not healthy to stay in limbo. Much more mature and easier to plot your future with definite decisions made. Your child will be fine as long as you both put his needs first and assure him that both love him together or not.

Is it best for him if you're sad and upset all the time? No. Would he like for his mommy to be happy? Yes.

I know it's hard to make the break but you deserve to be happy.

Hey @Northerna:

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Originally Posted by Northerna I am at the point where I am questioning if my relationship is even worth fighting for anymore. At what point does one call it?

Just this statement makes me think its time you moved on.

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Feels like no matter what I do it is never good enough. He doesnt listen, is incapable of seeing my point of view or refuses to see it. He speaks to me in such a way that I feel guilty and shamed. I feel beaten down and am constantly trying to fight my way back up. He wants me to change but has has unrealistic expectations that seem to have gotten even harder to reach each year but is unwilling to change his expectations.

What does he expect you to change? And why do you have to change? Expecting a partner to change something just because you have decided they should makes no sense to me. And why you? Doesnt he realize he can only change himself?

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Our almost 2 year old boy complicates my decision on whether I stay or go coming from a broken family as I cannot be with out him and I have a feeling if we ended things he would make it a very long and difficult process. Do I sacrifice my happiness and stay in a marriage where I am no longer happy? Or do I caall it and prepare myself for the long journey ahead I can predict would happen?

You need to plan if you leave. See a lawyer. Make sure that you take your child with you in the most legal way possible. Kids know when things are not right. You may think your child is too young but he knows and as things move forward if you stay you are modeling behavior that you dont want to model for a child. He will learn how to treat women based on what he sees which is your husband. He will see that mama stayed in a bad marriage and that must be how it is. What would you tell your son if he were in the situation you are in?

Your happiness is very important. Life’s far too short to live it in an unhappy marriage. Why sacrifice happiness for your child’s sake when your child would then be witness to a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship dynamic. When a child is exposed to a toxic situation they grow up with a very skewed version of what a relationship involves. You would be doing your child no favors by staying. If you leave, you give yourself a chance at happiness and you also give your child a chance at seeing what a healthy relationship looks like, when you find a healthier one to commit to. So it’s a win win. Yes, it breaks up the family but for a Much more positive outcome in the end. Please know that your happiness matters. Wishing you all the best.

I don’t necessarily believe that being raised by divorced parents make it “broken family”. Many kids raised by married parents live in dysfunction, which much more qualifies as living in “broken family”. My daughter was raised by divorced parents, neither she nor her family are broken. Don’t subject your son to dysfunction. He will be much less broken if he doesn’t observe miserable marriage and bad treatment of women

It sounds like your husband will not take this well and I would just point out that spouses sometimes try to drag the children into the middle of the dispute during a breakup/divorce. My ex-wife trash-talked to our son about me for years. I have not spoken to him in 8 years. Just an FYI. He may try to turn your son against you if you decide to leave. You may need to figure out how you want to handle this. Sending you support and positive vibes.

Thanks everyone . I have some serious thinking to do to ensure I do what's best for my little boy and I and if i decide that leaving is my only option I will ensure I have all my ducks in a row .

All the above comments are very wise. Only you can know what’s best for you and your kids. Staying or leaving cause some dysfunction in different ways.