My friend

Hello people I have a friend and he handles things oddly. Please bear with me during this text and any kind of thinking along would be greatly appreciated.

Im not the kinda guy that lets go of friends I just wanna understand it better.

If you see him for the first time he seems very chaotic. Everything is over the top. He either laughs too loud, talks too loud or switches mood too often, is either too happy or too negative. Has a big nervousness around women, every person he ever had bad experiences with (races for example) he takes all people from that race and complains. At first its funny. More and more i see how broken he is...

Now to get to the point.

Hes homeless now and he sleeps on my couch. He seems to have finally found a place to relax as he basically stays in all day. But at least hes ok. But u start seeing the mechanisms better then.

The moment he leaves the house he needs beer. Starts smoking more. Yesterday something really minor happened he always calls me his son. So he went up to a mother with a baby and wanted to say they grow up so fast. The women was like well if u have ur own children then go to them. He was so extremely offended all the relaxation was gone. He seems so fragile and over emotional. Its at this moment all his crazy mechanisms start.

He first gets angry starts yelling at her. From that moment its her race thats bad, women are bad, he keeps talking and talking it seems as to not hear his thoughts. Drink as much as possible. In other words. This minor event flipped his whole life upside down. But then je starts trying to look as big as possible. Hes not afraid, hes strong, other people are bad, women are bad, the world is bad, as long as he can keep talking and talk himself UP in the process its okay.

He starts talking about prison and fighting etc etc etc. He seems like the guy that can never relax around anyone. Even me as his friend got to stand up for myself every now and then cus he seems freaking out.

Hes also not the guy that says something straightforward but always delivers a message wrapped in another sentence. When u say something about it he freaks out.

He seems like a really miserable scared men that tries to look huge and always tries to keep a little tension in the room or convince the people that hes someone not to mess with. The point that he can hardly ever relax makes me feel like why do u condtantly have to bark why cant u just be confident and relax?

Can anybody relate and give advice whats probably happeninf to him? Im just trying to understand.

Hi Bompilsf,

As someone who has had mental health issues like forever, my first thoughts are these. Of course, I'm not a psychologist at all, but it's possible your friend suffers with very low self esteem; he feels less-than, anxious, yes, scared, and attempts to pump himself up with all the false bravado you described. It can make the person sensitive to perceived criticism as well. The alcohol numbs down the anxiety and low self worth, he's feeling.

I feel kind of sorry for him because I can relate, and it's a lonely place to be. Oftentimes, a persons unstable upbringing - so the psychologists and doctors inform me - can be a factor. Someone like your friend could really benefit from some form of psychotherapy, but to take that step would first mean he would have to see himself as having a problem of sorts - which, at present, he may not.

Also, I'd just like to say he's lucky to have a friend like you. Good on you Bompilsf and I hope you get more insights from PC, as well.

And welcome to PC.

It possible that he might have low self-esteem or he could be acting this was as a survival situation because he might have been abuse or he could be suffering from depression. Is there anyway that you could get him some help like going to AAM and possibly a free counseling for his mental health?

That is great advice.

Hi Bompilsf,

Although I am not a doctor or medical professional of any kind, it "seems" like it may be possible that your friend may be suffering from some kind of mental illness or psychological problem. Of course I could be quite wrong about that.

You might want to contact a medical professional on behalf of your friend. In that way you would get professional advice that might prove helpful to you.

Your friend is lucky to have you in his life.

All the best to you! -- Yaowen

Hey @Bompilsf
I can appreciate you desire to help your friend and give them a place to live. But can that person truly get better just by having a place to stay? Are you prepared to support this person indefinitely? Do you like having a guest that lives there for free and has interactions with the public this way?

Welcome to pc Bompilsf

He needs mental health care. Maybe you could collect some information from mental health providers and give to him?

I would personally not feel safe with someone like him in my home. What if he continues his verbal assault and becomes violent?

It’s wonderful you want to help but it could come at a cost ...

Think carefully