No boyfriend we're "dating"

I was wrong. He says he's not dating anyone else but won't say we are anything more than dating. He balked at term boyfriend. We got in a fight over committing. He hasn't spoken to me since. I texted him twice today. Usually hear from him at lunch nothing, now it's after work and nothing. I figure he's giving me the cold shoulder, or he's praying. I checked texts he usually contacts me Closer to 8 pm.

I told him an IUD is for a committed relationship, so than he's like fine don't get one. I'm taking it off the table. How can he say he loves me so much and be like this? I can't eat. I'm upset.

I'm mostly upset I changed my facebook status. Got a bunch of likes. Told people about him. Now it may be all over.

IUD could be for anyone not just committed. But I recommend also using a condom if you aren’t in a committed relationship for safety.

It all seems too soon to me. You just started dating him. It has not even been a month? Or maybe a month? You weren’t even sure about him few weeks back. Most certainly not a boyfriend yet. Certainly not a relationship or serious love. Take things slower with men. Don’t tell people too early either

Well he gave me the its not you it's me talk. Said he needs a few weeks to think.

Well, this certainly means you can go back to dating others and don't have to be sexually committed to him while he's out of town. In fact, I suggest you DO start dating others again.

Hey Aviza, That's really weird of HIM that he said he loved you but then said he only considered it dating and not boyfriend. You really moved quite quickly, but go easy on yourself.


An IUD is for anyone, but I'd also recommend using condoms if you're not exclusive. Like Divine said.

Sending hugs.

I'm going to give him two weeks, plus I really cared for him. I know this is his busy time. I also updated my profile. But the guys I had are all gone now, starting over. I need to recover from this mess.

That always means it’s over. I’d not wait around. Know your worth. I am sorry, but it might be for the best.. Date around, get to know people slowly

((((((((Aviza))))))) I believe you are worth more than to wait around for someone who messes with your heart. Give it some thought.

Thanks. My ex boyfriend is begging for another chance, I talked to him tonight. Still the same guy but works a better job. I don't really want to be with him though there's aspects of being with him I miss.

Is this the ex that was bothering you on POF? Don't do it.

I get the sense that you really want a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with that per se, but don't let that cloud your judgment. You are worth better than these guys though. I also think it would be good for you to learn how to care for yourself, and treat yourself well. Its OK to be single right now. Do some self work. There are many things and people more worthy of your attention.

Do you work? What are your goals? Do you have hobbies? Female friends?

I’ve watched you dating different guys and honestly I think you should slow things down.

For your own health and anyone your with a condom should always be used. If things do get serious I’d advise you both go and get checked for std’s. Before any unprotected sex happens. An IUD isn’t just for a committed relationship it’s a form of birth control that millions of women use.

Do you have a T? Or maybe your caseworker might be someone you can talk to about learning how to slow down when meeting men.

I feel like your lonely and willing to take any attention you get, you deserve a nice guy that is respectful and not talking love in a couple weeks. Real decent men won’t want sex right away generally.

As for your ex ?? Ex’s are Ex’s for a reason. Move forward not backwards.

Please don't be offended by what I'm going to suggest, but do you feel you NEED someone in your life to be happy? Do you feel you have to have a boyfriend or husband right now to make youf life complete?

You rushed into this relationship and declared love and discussed marriage very quickly.

You seem needy and desperate for a male to fulfill you, including returning to an ex who recently was harassing and bothering you on POF. Please don't return to the ex out of loneliness and neediness.

I agree with the other posters. Perhaps being alone for a while would really benefit you.

When we enter into relationships from a needy standpoint, they turn out to not be based on a healthy foundation. Meaning, we're looking to another person to fulfill and complete us for our happiness. Then it becomes a relationship based on NEED and DEPENDENCY. We cannot rely on another for our happiness.

When we enter into a relationship being independently happy on our own, it's a much healthier relationship dynamic.

Perhaps it's time to work on being happy by yourself? Work on your hobbies, goals and interests, as another poster suggested?

Another thing about being single and alone: when we have a life of our own, we're a much more interesting partner for someone. Wouldn't you prefer that? As opposed to the opposite?

Hey @Aviza: An IUD is to protect you not the other person in a relationship. Also using condoms to avoid STD's.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aviza I was wrong. He says he's not dating anyone else but won't say we are anything more than dating. He balked at term boyfriend. We got in a fight over committing. He hasn't spoken to me since. I texted him twice today. Usually hear from him at lunch nothing, now it's after work and nothing. I figure he's giving me the cold shoulder, or he's praying. I checked texts he usually contacts me Closer to 8 pm. I told him an IUD is for a committed relationship, so than he's like fine don't get one. I'm taking it off the table. How can he say he loves me so much and be like this? I can't eat. I'm upset. I'm mostly upset I changed my facebook status. Got a bunch of likes. Told people about him. Now it may be all over.