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Jan 17, 2020 at 12:18 PM
#1
These are words I felt like saying to my husband this morning. I didn't, thankfully. I felt so irate and can't find the trigger. He made breakfast, and complained about our newspaper which is worthless now. I made ineffectual comments that were meant to express my discomfort when I hear complaints, but stop short of starting arguments or being so blunt as to say "stop complaining". We were then sitting quietly and I suddenly wanted to say, " I'm sorry I'm not who you want me to be today" (sarcastically). Disturbing. Any ideas where this kind of thing springs out of? Is this indirect response to something vague experienced by many others?
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 Bill3, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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 MickeyCheeky
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Jan 17, 2020 at 12:22 PM
#2
This can spring out of just getting bored with your husband needing to vent his frustrations at you expecting you to play the "poor boy that you are not happy today" role. Perhaps you just want someone to think about how YOU feel for a change.
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MickeyCheeky
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Jan 17, 2020 at 12:58 PM
#3
I rarely give him the "poor boy" sympathies. I'm not his mother. He voices his upsets to newscasts, newscasters (e.g. you need different glasses, dear"), other drivers... People have told him about his criticizing. I mostly say I think he's probably hardest on himself. He describes his emotional neglect as a child. He says I use these things against himif I say much.
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MickeyCheeky
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Jan 17, 2020 at 01:53 PM
#4
oes he ever attack YOU personally? It seems like You're getting frustrated with him complaining all the time. Does he listen to you? How is your relationship with Him overall? Do you feel like Your opinion matters?
 I think it may be best to talk about ALL of this with Him if things are getting frustrating for You, although I realize that may not be easy for You. Give it a thougth! Wishing you the BEST OF LUCK! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @MadEnn, your Family, your Friends, your Husband and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!     
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Jan 17, 2020 at 03:03 PM
#5
He does not criticize me. I think with him I just need to validate more. My concern is that I wanted to say something that seems twisted and disturbing to me. I didn't say it, but I did feel it. Anything about "who I am" as if I am not the same person, not feeling continuity of self from event to event is bothersome to me. BPD is an issue I deal with.
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| Open Eyes
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Jan 20, 2020 at 08:48 PM
#6
A ...relative said something similar (but much worse) to me. It is amongst the things that person said which were .. unsupportive and less than kind. Does he ever verbally attack you? Does he validate your feelings if you are feeling sad or are having a bad day?
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