She’s much younger but likes me

Macd123 · Jan 26, 2020 at 05:56 PM

This woman friend is twenty seven years younger than me. I talk to her often and buy her flowers. She seems to enjoy my company but I don’t believe I ever told her my age - I know hers. It’s quite complimentary that she thinks I’m in her age bracket but it’s also a problem if I want to get serious. I feel guilty about not telling her but I may have to if I want to date her. Anyway, she’s a friend and I don’t know if I should just leave it at that which would be hard. I’m retired and she’s not - in fact she owns her own business and is busy. She never seems to ask why I’m never at work..... I’m hoping she realizes that I am much older. Anyway thought I’d share the situation .... thanks!!!

Open Eyes · Jan 26, 2020 at 07:00 PM

Sometimes a person is friendly and nice just to be friends and isn't thinking about more than that.

divine1966 · Jan 26, 2020 at 07:42 PM

Is this bakery owner you mentioned before? It’s nice you are friends but do you think she is into you romantically? Otherwise why would you
think she’d wonder about your age or why you aren’t at work? Are you thinking of asking her out or just leaving it the way it is?

~Christina · Jan 26, 2020 at 11:32 PM

In the past you have though other young ladies like the coffee barista have liked you romantically when no, they just liked you as a friend

How is she acting differently?

bpcyclist · Jan 27, 2020 at 07:54 AM

Of course, I don't know you, but, do you not find women closer in age to yours appealing?

Macd123 · Jan 27, 2020 at 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

Is this bakery owner you mentioned before? It’s nice you are friends but do you think she is into you romantically? Otherwise why would you
think she’d wonder about your age or why you aren’t at work? Are you thinking of asking her out or just leaving it the way it is?

We have nice conversations - I buy her potted flowers she seems to love. She always seems very happy to see me - I’m not an expert but seem seems very receptive and no she isn’t that young....

Macd123 · Jan 27, 2020 at 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

In the past you have though other young ladies like the coffee barista have liked you romantically when no, they just liked you as a friend

How is she acting differently?

She gives mixed signals - I buy her flowers and we have very nice conversations. She shares a lot about herself and is very comfortable when talking to me. She smiles a lot and tells me I make her day - no expert but this is all positive. She ain’t that young.....

Macd123 · Jan 27, 2020 at 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Of course, I don't know you, but, do you not find women closer in age to yours appealing?

It’s just a matter of circumstance - do t know a lot of women.

~Christina · Jan 27, 2020 at 02:06 PM

Maybe ask her if she’d like to go grab some coffee, I think her response will help you see if she’s just a friend or she’s open to more....

divine1966 · Jan 27, 2020 at 04:44 PM

You can ask her out on a date. Then you’ll have your answer.

As about age I don’t know why you are saying she is not that young. You are in your 60s. She is 27 years younger. She could be your daughter. She is what not even 40? She is very young.

I am not saying it’s illegal of anything but I personally would have zero interest in dating men 27 years younger or older than me. 27 years older would be 80. No thanks. And 27 years younger man would be younger than my daughter. Sure wouldn’t date the guy who could be my son. You are posting about young women for years now. And no luck. Why oh why you won’t try women in your age bracket

Molinit · Jan 28, 2020 at 08:55 AM

Women of her age are rarely interested in men of your age unless there is a secondary gain for her, like money. If you are not wealthy, then you should start frequenting places with women in your age range, because continuing to meet and ruminate about these young women you keep wondering about will be wasted time and energy.

s4ndm4n2006 · Jan 28, 2020 at 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

You can ask her out on a date. Then you’ll have your answer.

As about age I don’t know why you are saying she is not that young. You are in your 60s. She is 27 years younger. She could be your daughter. She is what not even 40? She is very young.

I am not saying it’s illegal of anything but I personally would have zero interest in dating men 27 years younger or older than me. 27 years older would be 80. No thanks. And 27 years younger man would be younger than my daughter. Sure wouldn’t date the guy who could be my son. You are posting about young women for years now. And no luck. Why oh why you won’t try women in your age bracket

I agree, just ask her to coffee or a date, get it out of the way and find out instead of pondering, wondering and trying to read between the lines to figure it out. Guessing games are usually not very effective.

As for the age, go for it. There will always be some that will give negatives related to age but that's your choice. keep in mind in many, if not most cases there will be a vast difference in values and interests with a large age gap. if you've taken that into account or for some reason know that this won't be a concern, again, go for it.

Macd123 · Jan 28, 2020 at 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Molinit

Women of her age are rarely interested in men of your age unless there is a secondary gain for her, like money. If you are not wealthy, then you should start frequenting places with women in your age range, because continuing to meet and ruminate about these young women you keep wondering about will be wasted time and energy.

Actually I am well off but she doesn’t know that. You’re right though it gives me more leverage when I’m dating out of my range but I don’t brag about it. I don’t even know if I’d consider it if I didn’t have some comfort. I’ve known her for quite a while and we are friends so I don’t feel that guilty about associating with her, that said I’m still aware of the difference. Thanks

Macd123 · Jan 28, 2020 at 06:04 PM

I don’t think she’s too young - almost forty is not a kid. I think she’s old enough to decide. As for women my own age I do know a couple and I’m just not interested In a relationship. Thanks!

bpcyclist · Jan 29, 2020 at 10:31 AM

I don't mean to be rude in any way, but you really probably should be aware by this stage of life that being forthright and direct is the best policy when dealing with any potential romantic partner. It's what I have always done and even if the relationship ultimately did not last forever, at least she knew where I stood and I, where she. It's much better that way than living in your head. I only had one woman ever get mad at me for telling her straight up that I was very interested in her. She decided that she was pissed at me for telling her. Messed her up somehow. We ended up together.

unaluna · Jan 29, 2020 at 11:45 AM

I see no problem with taking things slowly. If you read the Weddings section in the New York Times, couples often know each other for years before they even start dating. Even couples in their dotage! Not just kids who met at summer camp!

WovenGalaxy · Jan 29, 2020 at 12:13 PM

I once dated someone substantially older than me. Like more than 27 years. The thing with it, was that there was a cap. It was a finite situation. I knew that. It just wasn't going to work for many reasons, our age difference was one of them. I disagree with Molinit that most women who date men much older are gold diggers. I was not. Nor was he wealthy. Just a pretty interesting guy, cute, and into me, that I found myself attracted to during a vulnerable time in my life. That's long over now and was quite short lived.

Macd, I agree with the other posters. If you want to know how she really feels, ask her out. She certainly could just be being friendly and see you just as a nice older man. But who knows. Ask her if you really want to know.

Discombobulated · Jan 29, 2020 at 05:02 PM

I wonder why you seem to think she might not know your age?

If you are 27 years older I think it is very unlikely she's not aware of your age. Maybe it's not a big deal to her?

I do agree with suggestions you should ask her out if you want to. What have you got to lose?

bpcyclist · Jan 30, 2020 at 03:21 AM

I guess I would only add that, based on a little bit of slightly embarrassing personal history, there is a subset of "younger" (let's say, under 40) women who are very, very attracted to older men physcially and sexually, for whatever reason. It seems odd to me, but it is certainly out there all over the place, if you are interested in that sort of thing.

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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,115 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Jan 26, 2020 at 07:00 PM #2 Sometimes a person is friendly and nice just to be friends and isn't thinking about more than that.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,369 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Jan 26, 2020 at 07:42 PM #3 Is this bakery owner you mentioned before? It’s nice you are friends but do you think she is into you romantically? Otherwise why would you think she’d wonder about your age or why you aren’t at work? Are you thinking of asking her out or just leaving it the way it is?
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	Jan 26, 2020 at 11:32 PM #4 In the past you have though other young ladies like the coffee barista have liked you romantically when no, they just liked you as a friend How is she acting differently? __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Jan 27, 2020 at 07:54 AM #5 Of course, I don't know you, but, do you not find women closer in age to yours appealing? __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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~Christina Legendary Wise Elder Community Liaison Member Since Jul 2011 Location: Tennessee Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!) 12 12.7k hugs given	Jan 27, 2020 at 02:06 PM #9 Maybe ask her if she’d like to go grab some coffee, I think her response will help you see if she’s just a friend or she’s open to more.... __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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Molinit Grand Member Member Since Nov 2015 Location: Michigan Posts: 842 8 84 hugs given	Jan 28, 2020 at 08:55 AM #11 Women of her age are rarely interested in men of your age unless there is a secondary gain for her, like money. If you are not wealthy, then you should start frequenting places with women in your age range, because continuing to meet and ruminate about these young women you keep wondering about will be wasted time and energy.
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Macd123 Veteran Member Member Since Feb 2015 Location: Seattle Posts: 735 9 10 hugs given	Jan 28, 2020 at 06:04 PM #14 I don’t think she’s too young - almost forty is not a kid. I think she’s old enough to decide. As for women my own age I do know a couple and I’m just not interested In a relationship. Thanks!
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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,864 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.4k hugs given	Jan 29, 2020 at 11:45 AM #16 I see no problem with taking things slowly. If you read the Weddings section in the New York Times, couples often know each other for years before they even start dating. Even couples in their dotage! Not just kids who met at summer camp!
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Discombobulated Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2019 Location: UK Posts: 4,692 (SuperPoster!) 4 11.6k hugs given	Jan 29, 2020 at 05:02 PM #18 I wonder why you seem to think she might not know your age? If you are 27 years older I think it is very unlikely she's not aware of your age. Maybe it's not a big deal to her? I do agree with suggestions you should ask her out if you want to. What have you got to lose?
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