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Newly Joined
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1
4 |
#1
There's a lot of detail to this so ill just list in bullets
Please ask if you need a clarification question! |
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Bill3, bpcyclist, Buffy01
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Bill3, Buffy01, mote.of.soul
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,260
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#2
Not sure what you are looking for here? If you want to know how this looks to an outsider--it looks to me like your boyfriend wants to move on without telling you that he wants to move on. I'd let him move on, permanently. You deserve better.
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bpcyclist
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Bill3, feb2020user, lizardlady
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,117
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#3
Quote:
When in a relationship with an addict, whether the person is engaging the addiction or engaging in staying clean and sober, THAT challenge is ALWAYS a precedent in the relationship. I do not recommend someone having a relationship with someone with this problem. It can get LONELY. The only time it works better is if both individuals are living their lives working on staying sober as then it becomes something they do together. |
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bpcyclist
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Bill3
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,117
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#4
Quote:
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bpcyclist
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Bill3
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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#5
I'm unclear on the resolution of his plan to drink with her on 50% of the days he spends with you. Is he going ahead with that? Or is he not going ahead with that, but moving in with her instead? Or both?
It troubles me greatly that he could say "what's one day?". It troubles me greatly that he turned off his location right after that discussion. I agree with the replies above. |
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bpcyclist
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Open Eyes
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
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#6
He’s a recovering addict and she would help him access drugs
He just informed me he’s spending it w/ her drinking bc she isn’t available another day Turned his location off after our discussion So he's going to hang out with her one night per week to drink with her OR to access drugs and do drugs with her? What does it me to "turn off location"? Sounds to me like he's placing his addiction above you, which will ALWAYS be the case. Sounds like a no-win situation for you, sadly. I would think twice about moving forward in any kind of relationship that prioritizes drugs and a roommate over seeing me. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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bpcyclist
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Bill3, lizardlady
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#7
Where is he living now?
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
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#8
Well, unless you know for a certainty that something dodgy might be happening between the two of them, there's really not a lot you can do. Now, if what he's doing is something you don't mind in a person that's fine, but if it's not, then, you may need to take further steps.
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ɘvlovƎ
Member Since Nov 2013
Location: Australia
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#9
Oh hell no this would not be acceptable to me at all!
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Bill3, mote.of.soul
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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#10
Quote:
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
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#11
I would end the relationship right now.
__________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#12
Hey @bruhbruhbruhbruhbr I thought I would address your points one by one if thats ok...
[QUOTE=bruhbruhbruhbruhbr;6762369]There's a lot of detail to this so ill just list in bullets
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Account Suspended
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 49
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#13
I agree with everyone here. Dump him. If he wants to live with her, then she can take care of him. I was going to say that when I read the title of the forum, and after reading your contents it's pretty clear that he's not somebody you want to have a committed relationship with. While I normally try to avoid taking sides when I only have one person's part of the story, this one is fairly clear-cut.
You can do better than him. Find somebody that takes the relationship as seriously as you do. |
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