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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
~Christina
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
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#41
If you go from actively drinking and stop cold turkey that can in fact kill you.
Amy whinehouse did this and died You need professional help to stop drinking __________________ Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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Junior Member
Affliction
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Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#42
Hello Miss Christina, thanks to you and miss sarahsweets I've taken this road very seriously and have been monitoring myself as much as I can. If I get to a point I can't handle I'll definitely make sure to get ems involved. I tried to work today but that only went so far...I lost the wind in my sails after first break. Went home at noon-thirty...ran a couple errands and laid down for 2 hrs.
I did finally read up on Amy. She died from relapse...she finished off several vodka bottles. ( New investigation finds excess alcohol killed singer Amy Winehouse - CNN )..which I can see the tie in because she was detox-ing herself. Thanks for your advice! I promise to take them to heart |
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~Christina
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Junior Member
Affliction
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#43
Tried to go back to work for a day and that didn't work out so well so took next two days off. Spent most of today doing laundry and cleaning house with my daughter. Still can't shake cough...going to the Dr. on Tuesday to see what they can find out. So far 1 week and a day, didn't go to any meetings this week 'cause I didn't want to get anyone sick.
My relationship with wife is still the same with more indifference than days where I feel we are connecting or having a connection. Feelings are still the same regarding what is happening that I don't see. Haven't approached her about it and quite honestly I am done having to deal with the emotional hot/cold game. I'm just working on building the part of me that I lost a long time ago...it's not easy and suppressing my emotions until I can face them is at best a spare tire travelling at 65mph. Once this month is over I'm contacting my insurance company so I can get in with a psych-ologist/iatrist. I don't know if therapist is the direction to go but I am still just trying to get through the forest of where I am with quitting drinking. From what I've read it'll take at least a month from when I stopped for me to at least start going forward. Hope everyone has had a good week/weekend. Take care |
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Open Eyes
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Junior Member
Dyromii
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Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 10
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#44
Hey Affliction, I haven't commented previously, just finished reading your post, and thought I would check in with you and see how your doing.
You have had some great advice here already, I have a not dissimilar addiction story as yours although it's a different poison. Keep focusing on yourself and your immediate situation and don't try to look too far ahead.. If one day at a time seems to much, break your day down into smaller portions and focus only on what needs done during those increments. I found this particularly effective during anxiety attacks. Practical tips aside, you have a good, indepth perspective., which will only improve and become clearer as you gain your sobriety. You should be incredibly proud of what your trying to achieve whilst holding down a job and family, and whilst you don't feel like it you are showing a strength that many just can't find. Keep doing what you are doing, and most importantly remember one mistake does not mean failure or giving up. There are many bumps along the road so keep your head up. All the best, and take care. |
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Junior Member
Affliction
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Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#45
Hello,
Thanks for the hugs Open Eyes, and thank you Dyromii...you are very correct...everyone here has been awesome with advice I needed to hear. I've taken what I can and I am slowly wrapping up my pitty party blanket. One day I'll through it in the attic...promise. I definitely have learned that I can't try to hammer it all in...I'm slowly learning about surrender and working through my understandings of trusting in a higher power. He and I have talked with each other since I was a kid...and like most fathers he's had to hear me cry and ***** about how unfair things were in my life growing up. I just haven't learned to apply yet...only took me 30 years to finally listen. I guess the drugs, alcohol, and my ego kinda made me deaf to it. I definitely must start with my anxiety attacks, our kids need to see me handle and fix not panic and run in to walls. Thanks for the compliment too... I don't consider myself proud..I shoulda done this a decade ago...when things happen that put our family in my hands to manage...and I ran to alcohol instead of managing myself...it took some humbling to do it sober....before I was just applying myself mechanically like it was my job not my family and using alcohol as my escape time. I promise...I'm not downtalking your praise...but I'm looking forward to properly earning what you have given me. So ...meetings this Thurs & Friday...Sponsor...and learning steps! |
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Dyromii, Open Eyes
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Threadtastic Postaholic
sarahsweets
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#46
Hey @Affliction I think you are doing amazing. I am really proud of you even though I dont know you irl. You are embracing the process and keeping an open mind which is half the battle. Keep your chin up.
Quote:
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Junior Member
Dyromii
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Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Scotland
Posts: 10
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#47
Just checking in to see how you are doing and how the last couple of days have been.
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Junior Member
Affliction
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#48
Hello,
Thanks miss sarahsweets! I will be sure to earn the advice and time you've given to me. Hello to you too Dyromii. This was my first week back at work and meetings since getting a flu bug/going clean last week. As of now I'm 2 weeks clean. Work wasn't fun especially after being out of commish last week...got a little pale but a friend helped keep an eye on me. Went to my meetings tonight and discovered a my higher power at work. Because of frustrations in my life. I had a talk with HIM asking for help in hearing his voice because throughout my time and clouded thoughts I have forgotten/lost the ability to hear his advice. At tonight's book study funny enough...the topic was Prayers & meditation. SO ...I guess he heard me and threw me that to let me know my prayer didn't fall on deaf ears. I can't wait to start learning the steps...I got a couple numbers for possible sponsors so I'll wait for day off to get the courage to call. Social butterfly is not my strong suit so I'll be leaving my comfort zone for this. Thanks to you both! |
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Junior Member
Affliction
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#49
Ok...one thing that sux is this insomnia...especially if I had a particularly stressful issue with my personal life...Already 0106hrs and I have to get up for work in 4hrs....blech...I need something to exhaust my mind....like...meditation....or a high powered mallet to the noggin.
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Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Open Eyes
Not a Unicorn, just another horse
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093
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#50
When a person is used to using alcohol so they don't have to deal with their emotional challenges, no longer using to avoid means now you have to finally learn how. This is why individuals that are working on being sober and staying sober are told not to engage in relationships for about a year. This is what your wife is going through, part of why she has distanced from you while she is in detox and getting sober.
There is the physical dependence which you have clearly been challenged with, and then there is the psychological dependence that takes longer to work on. This means you will genuinely be learning how to take things literally one day at a time. This is what your wife is working on and it IS challenging. Yes, there is often a time to adjust to learning how to sleep without the alcohol that sedated you. You may also need to be tested for sleep issues, it may be that you experience sleep apnea. |
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Junior Member
Affliction
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#51
Thanks Open Eyes! It's not an easy pill to swallow....but for once in a long time I'm starting to feel content...I don't know if it's initial euphoria or what. I'm going to keep moving forward.
I understand about the relationship boundaries but I've also seen (albeit the surfaces) of couples or an individual who is in a relationship who seemed to be working towards each other. I understand that we're working towards being the people that we want and need to be for our children and if what we are doing is what is needed of us to go there then at some point we'll either meet at the crossroads or keep walking our paths. I'm trying to not linger anymore than need be on the what ifs and work on the will and can do's. I am 2 weeks and 3 days clean...and it's not been easy even now. So thank you all so much. I may be writing in here less but that doesn't mean I don't have your advices and voices running through me when I leave the keyboard |
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Open Eyes
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Junior Member
Affliction
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 24
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#52
I pray and hope everyone is doing ok during these hard times. I still think about the friends I made here and am grateful to each and every one of you for taking the time to share and help me through everything.
I'll make it short by saying enough has happened in both of our lives where choices were made by both of us to work on divorcing. I had to ask myself how much of anything more regardless of what is or is not going on that is allowable vs what I'm trying to do by staying clean. Haven't gone to meetings in a couple weeks for obvious reasons but am on threads and probably will try the online meetings. Thinking of you all and wishing the best for you! |
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Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Open Eyes
Not a Unicorn, just another horse
Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,093
(SuperPoster!)
21.3k hugs
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#53
Affliction, do your best to take things one day at a time. Nothing JUST gets fixed or better overnight, it takes time and patience. Take care of yourself and your children right now, that's what is important.
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