Forced to talk to someone you don't like

lovethesun · Feb 11, 2020 at 09:44 AM

Hello everyone,

I've been invited to an event in honor of a friend's birthday. I plan to go to support my friend and wish her well on her birthday. But there is someone who I can not stand who was also invited and will be there. Actually two people I can not stand, both this woman and her husband. They are both rude, obnoxious jerks who I don't have a good history with. I actually become nauseated in their presence. They are the kind that stand near you and laugh extra loud to make sure you hear them if you are not talking to them. And intimidation tactic. Anyway, how would you deal with this? Just go, grab a quick refreshment, wish your friend well and chat for a bit then get the heck out of there? I honestly don't have much in common with the rest of the invitees really.

feb2020user · Feb 11, 2020 at 09:59 AM

If they're people that you might see more frequently, you should obviously befriend them and turn that disgust into fake pleasantries and condescending politeness. Only you should be in on the joke, though, don't make it obvious. Once you're "friends," you can come up with any number of excuses to avoid each other at future events.

I really find that turning my dislike of someone into actively mocking them by being nice works really well in the long-run. Everyone sees you as more mature and likeable and you get more power over the people you hate. The only problem is that, if they catch on, it can really destroy all of your relationships because nobody is sure whether you genuinely like them or not. That's why you should really use this tactic sparingly, and only when you absolutely have to interact with them. I think using it too often will probably make you feel bad, too, so that's another reason to keep the encounters brief.

ArtleyWilkins · Feb 11, 2020 at 10:37 AM

Just enjoy the rest of the company. I'm assuming there will be more than just the 4 of you? People tend to converse with the people the know and get along with in social situations and just not interact with those they don't know or don't care for. That's just part of socializing in larger groups. Don't make the party about disliking these two people. Make it about the other people and the friend you are honoring. Avoiding entire social situations because one or two people bother you tends to just keep you isolated.

MickeyCheeky · Feb 11, 2020 at 11:10 AM

I'd suggest to try to keep yourself busy and talk to as many people as you can. Perhaps they'll leave you alone if they see you like that. If you're not talking, go eat something or go to the bathroom. I am so sorry I don't have more useful advice for you!

Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @lovethesun, your Family, your Friends, your Friend and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

bpcyclist · Feb 11, 2020 at 02:22 PM

I would just try to steer clear of them. And if it becomes too much for you and you find your stress level rising too much, say a quick bye to your friend and get out of there. Your mental health must always come first. Sending you support!!!!

lovethesun · Feb 11, 2020 at 04:58 PM

Thank you all for your advice! It is much appreciated.

sarahsweets · Feb 12, 2020 at 02:37 AM

Hey @lovethesun I was just wondering: What does your friend with the birthday think of this couple? Does this friend think the world of them? I am wondering if your friend sees the way they are or if its just your experience with them. I am not saying it makes a difference, assholes are assholes I was just wondering if they prey on you for a particular reason.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovethesun

Hello everyone,

I've been invited to an event in honor of a friend's birthday. I plan to go to support my friend and wish her well on her birthday. But there is someone who I can not stand who was also invited and will be there. Actually two people I can not stand, both this woman and her husband. They are both rude, obnoxious jerks who I don't have a good history with. I actually become nauseated in their presence. They are the kind that stand near you and laugh extra loud to make sure you hear them if you are not talking to them. And intimidation tactic. Anyway, how would you deal with this? Just go, grab a quick refreshment, wish your friend well and chat for a bit then get the heck out of there? I honestly don't have much in common with the rest of the invitees really.

lovethesun · Feb 12, 2020 at 07:44 PM

@sarahsweets.....thanks for your thoughts on this. The friend having the birthday pretends to like them in public, but I honestly think deep down she doesn't care for them. She's not a stupid person and must certainly see them as the bullies they are. But she puts on her game face for appearances. I have heard other people complain about this rude couple, so I know it's not just me. The difference between me and most of the other people is that I stood up to this couple. I let them know that unlike others, I'm not going to just bend over and take their S**t. I think I now live in their nightmares since I had the guts to do that. So they are nervous around me and play childish games like the loud laughing to put on airs that they are not bothered by me. But I know they really are. They are idiots. I keep telling myself that this too shall pass and someday I'll be living some place else and they will fade into memory.

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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Feb 11, 2020 at 02:22 PM #5 I would just try to steer clear of them. And if it becomes too much for you and you find your stress level rising too much, say a quick bye to your friend and get out of there. Your mental health must always come first. Sending you support!!!! __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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lovethesun Member Member Since Dec 2014 Location: United States Posts: 341 9 58 hugs given	Feb 11, 2020 at 04:58 PM #6 Thank you all for your advice! It is much appreciated.
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