Giving late bday gift?

lovethesun · Feb 18, 2020 at 07:14 AM

I attended a surprise birthday party for my next door neighbor. I hugged her and wished her well and enjoyed the party. However, I did not bring a gift. The invitation said "your presence is the best gift you could give". I assumed they were requesting people to be there in lieu of a gift. At the party, I noticed there was a gift table set up and many people had given a gift or a card with a gift card in it. Now I feel bad for not having given a gift. Would it be in bad taste to give a card with a gift card in it now that it's a few days after the party? Thanks for your input.

SorryShaped · Feb 18, 2020 at 07:20 AM

It's not in poor taste to deliver a gift late. I only give gifts when I feel I want to give them something, and never because I feel obligated to.

divine1966 · Feb 18, 2020 at 07:41 AM

No it’s not too late

poshgirl · Feb 18, 2020 at 08:10 AM

Comments like that are usually ignored by guests anyway!

Flowers or a potted plant are a "token" gift. This happened to me many years ago Invited to former neighbours' wedding anniversary lunch, they just wanted everyone's company. Needless to say, guests turned up with gift vouchers/
flowers/plants/wine. My aunt had made a beautiful card in lieu of a gift. Feeling embarrassed, my mother apologised for the "lack of gift". Former neighbour commented that she wished other guests had taken notice, as they were serious about the message.

No, it's not too late.

sarahsweets · Feb 18, 2020 at 11:15 AM

Hey @lovethesun Do you think your neighbor sat down to go through her gifts and made a note of every person that came and who didnt bring a gift? I seriously doubt it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovethesun

I attended a surprise birthday party for my next door neighbor. I hugged her and wished her well and enjoyed the party. However, I did not bring a gift. The invitation said "your presence is the best gift you could give". I assumed they were requesting people to be there in lieu of a gift. At the party, I noticed there was a gift table set up and many people had given a gift or a card with a gift card in it. Now I feel bad for not having given a gift. Would it be in bad taste to give a card with a gift card in it now that it's a few days after the party? Thanks for your input.

justlexi93 · Feb 18, 2020 at 08:30 PM

I don't consider it as late, at the end of day it's not about the gift itself but it's you being there for the celebrant.

s4ndm4n2006 · Feb 19, 2020 at 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovethesun

I attended a surprise birthday party for my next door neighbor. I hugged her and wished her well and enjoyed the party. However, I did not bring a gift. The invitation said "your presence is the best gift you could give". I assumed they were requesting people to be there in lieu of a gift. At the party, I noticed there was a gift table set up and many people had given a gift or a card with a gift card in it. Now I feel bad for not having given a gift. Would it be in bad taste to give a card with a gift card in it now that it's a few days after the party? Thanks for your input.

first off, it's not in bad taste to give a gift late. I think it's a nice gesture. But I would also like to relieve you of some of the guilt you seem to feel. First, the invite stated that a gift is not necessary. Now in most situations there will be a few or many that give a gift anyway as tradition and a nice gesture in spite of the invitation saying it wasn't necessary. If the recipient is being honest, I'm sure it's fine and there's no need to get a gift anyway. One would like to assume what people say is what they mean so. let's assume it's not an issue. Who are you trying to impress, please? If it's in light of the fact that you were the only or one of the few that didn't bring a gift, who is it that needs to know this or do they even know? is this about looking good or appearing to live up to an obligation of gift giving? Think about the root of this motivation to get a gift after the fact and figure it out. I'd be hard pressed to say that it's not important and won't matter either way.

lovethesun · Feb 19, 2020 at 12:35 PM

Update: Thank you all for your advice on this. It really helped me. I ended up giving a gift to my neighbor and found out that the day I gave it to her was her actual birthday. So technically not late after all. She was very appreciative and I feel a lot better knowing that I did that since she has gone the extra mile for me in the past. It was nice to return the kindness.

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SorryShaped Grand Magnate Member Since Mar 2017 Location: Kentucky Posts: 3,273 7	Feb 18, 2020 at 07:20 AM #2 It's not in poor taste to deliver a gift late. I only give gifts when I feel I want to give them something, and never because I feel obligated to.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,364 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Feb 18, 2020 at 07:41 AM #3 No it’s not too late
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justlexi93 Member Member Since Feb 2020 Location: Florida Posts: 58 4	Feb 18, 2020 at 08:30 PM #6 I don't consider it as late, at the end of day it's not about the gift itself but it's you being there for the celebrant.
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