When someone just suddenly decides to stop talking to you or someone else

I've always wondered, in general, what causes some people who claim to be great friends with you or someone else, to suddenly, without warning, stop talking to you one day. It's happened to me, and I've seen it happen to other people. In some cases, the reason is clear. Usually due to a conflict between two people. But in other cases, it's not clear since everything appeared to be fine and there was no conflict.

Have you experienced this before? For those who just simply stop talking to someone, especially someone who they consider a friend, I feel like it can be rude since they're just ghosting someone out without a good explanation, almost as if the one doing the ghosting never saw the other person as a friend in the first place. It can cause the recipient of the ghosting to feel burned and less willing to trust people, I know that is the case with me. I'll be honest, I've come to that conclusion towards others who do that.

Not just towards people who ghosted me out one day, but people I knew who did it to someone else, if there appeared to be no reason and there was definitely no conflict, then I assume that they most likely didn't see me or someone else as a friend in the first place. Either they just saw someone as a back up friend, or there was never a true friendship and the whole thing is a misunderstanding. Do you have any clues as to why some people do this? I understand people can stop being friends with whoever they want, but I feel like just shutting them out randomly one day is a bit harsh unless they actually did something to you.

As I mentioned, I have a harder time trusting people and expect people to do it to me since I've had this happen, and I know other people who have trust issues too due to this kind of behavior. They may even expect others to do it to them. I know for one person, I had to promise them and even prove to them that I wouldn't be one of those people who decides to randomly ghost them out. I never do that stuff to others but I completely understand why some people would be wary and assume anyone who they are friends with, even best friends, may just wake up one day and decide not to talk to them. I'm wary of other people too and expect people to do it as well. I don't feel offended when someone wonders if I would do that, since I have been on the receiving end of ghosting and completely understand their wariness.

There always is a reason, it’s just that they are not saying why. Sometimes it’s something you or someone did that they didn’t like so they decided to cut them off in an ice cold way, rather than communicating and trying to repair the relationship. Sometimes the ghoster may have been a user and didn’t have good intentions for true friendship in the first place. Like when a narcissist doesn’t get their way from someone, dumps them, and goes to find their narcissistic supply elsewhere. A true friend will tell you what you did that upset them and give you a chance to make it up to them. If you are habitually rude or abusive, a friend may just eventually ghost you when all else fails.

There is a new way of people just ghosting each other that really upsets me. I’m older and we had no way of doing this before computers and cell phones. I’ve suffered on the receiving end of this treatment lately and it’s extremely hurtful. Shame on them.

Yeah I agree. There has to be a reason. Either that or the person was pretending to be a friend when in fact they were just a user. I’ve encountered that before. Especially those who are narcissistic. Very ice cold hearted and selfish.

Every situation is different and you have to take that into account. each individual, the people involved, the things that happened to you or others etc. there really isn't an easy answer to that.

here's how I see it though. I've done it. and I can only speak from experience. The people that were dropped or as you call it "ghosted" were people that there was no other way to cut off communication. Of course I would be the type of person that also gives warning and says things that would point out why beforehand but in the end they are always the type of person who you could not move away from without just cutting them off. sad but true. This brings me to another related point though.

As tisha points out in this day and age its possible to do what you couldn't do in past eras without the phones and internet connectivity and constant always on connection to the world. But think about this also. The relationships that are based on said internet or phone connectivity are also harder to just stop. Reason being with things like social media, and texting where everything everyone is connected and statuses and such it's extremely hard to distance from people without doing such things as cutting them off, ghosting them and disabiling/blocking and such. If you stop talking to someone for good reason but you're both on twitch or some other media where you can see the other person is on or not.. it makes it quite difficult to just not talk to them anymore. they are wondering why you're not talking when they see you're online etc... about the only way to really cut off people in relationships whether for bad or good reasons, is ghosting them.

I wouldn't even take it personally.

Last job I had was target. I seemingly had a "buddy" there that was always very friendly and even thought we were becoming friends. I left the job for good reason related to bad management and treatment and when I explained this to the friend or coworker, he never replied and since has never spoken to me again. it was a sting at first but frankly I'm sure he had good reasons to do this and probably related to the idea that he was mostly friendly with me bc we worked together. *shrug* move on. frankly if I'm ghosted, it's like hey that person had reasons or didn't care enough about me anyway so it's really not worth trying to figure it out.

Yeah it is harder to do stuff like that now. And yeah it is hard for people to not take it personally.

I agree with the other lovely posters, there has to be a reason (especially if it is a solid friendship). In my own experience, I ghosted pretty much everyone who was on my contact list by changing my number. I explained to a few people that I needed some time for myself. I was letting go of a life I felt I had outgrown. I had even stopped socializing the way I used to. I felt separated from that life long before I chose to switch my number.

It was a very personal self-discovery journey and I could not (nor did I want to) take any of my friends with. It was about me. And frankly, there is nothing narcissistic about choosing yourself especially when you feel you have become unrecognizable to yourself. I had to pull myself out and I couldn’t take the people who I had met and built that life with, along.

Now I’m finally at a place where I love who I am becoming. After a few months I reached out to a few friends who I identified as still being good for my new lifestyle. They were so pleased to hear from me and it felt like we never separated. I felt respected by them. They didn’t take my silence personally as if it was a malicious attack. They respected my need for space. However, most of the people and the places I used to hang out at, I have no interest going back.

So honestly I think there are some times where it is not done to hurt the other person. However in life we need to learn that our friends are not our purse, that we can just carry around whenever or wherever. That friend has their own needs. Their own demons to fight. Sometimes they do not feel comfortable fighting them with you in their space. Not to say you are a bad friend or unsupportive. It’s just such a personal, private experience that it even feels wrong to have to explain why I need to be alone and not have to feel guilty of ghosting/abandoning someone.

In that case, I can understand, although even then I would let the people i actually do like know that it has nothing to do with them. No explaination needed if it is super private but at least letting them know they didn’t do anything or it has nothing to do withe them is nice.

In my experience, and even seeing it happen to others, in most cases, the person doing the ghosting was doing it to either be rude or someone upset or angered them. So it usually did have to do with someone. But I can totally understand the need for privacy in your case. Nothing wrong with that.