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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#21
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,701
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#22
So my question is.....why make friends with people till you know what they are like?
When I meet people I am friendly just not friends. I observe for awhile before I decide whether they are the kind of person I can or want to become friends with. They are probably doing the the same thing with me. The distance exists because it is more of an acquaintance situation. That way if I realize there is no kind of connection, there is no drama of breaking up a friendship. If we become friends, it is a mutual feeling about friendship. Saves a lot of grief & drama in ones life __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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3,617 hugs
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#23
Quote:
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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eskielover
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Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
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#24
ggrrrrrrrrrrrr at the ''difficult people'' in the world who never realise that THEY are the ''problem''
hugs and respect to you __________________ |
eskielover, Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,701
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#25
Remember, non-family memembers only become a problem TO US if we allow them into our life at that level. I have a tendency to take on the attitude.....let them be someone elses problem. Not interested in bringing people like that into my inner circle. That can actually apply with family too just harder at times. If enough people don't buy into their being difficult, they end up alone where they don't hurt others with their being difficult. Maybe they learn from it.....maybe not but it is their issue
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
Fuzzybear, Have Hope
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
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#26
Quote:
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Fuzzybear, Have Hope
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Legendary Wise Elder
eskielover
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,701
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#27
Quote:
Lol....people who are covering themselves will usually slip up if only subtly. Being observant helps.....their true colors usually show through. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Have Hope
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AzulOscuro
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Threadtastic Postaholic
sarahsweets
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#28
I find people like that difficult in online worlds when they have asked for opinions but dont really want them. Its one thing if they ask for support and someone is a jerk so they clarify they want support but its another when they ask for opinions and honesty and pick apart the ones they dont like. In instances like that I just move on.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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#29
In online worlds. I think people and words are often misunderstood Misunderstandings seems to happen quite frequently. And thanks, @sarahsweets Yes, I agree that that situation becomes difficult.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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3,617 hugs
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#30
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
AzulOscuro
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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#31
Some people are just difficult. Sometimes no diagnosing needed. That’s just how they are.
If they are our boss at work or elderly parent who needs to be taken care of, it’s somewhat hard to completely avoid them (even then we can try to limit interactions). In all other situations we simply have no need to have difficult people in our circles. People reveal themselves rather quickly. We just have to pay attention and stir opposite direction Last edited by divine1966; Mar 15, 2020 at 08:42 AM.. Reason: Ommited a word accidentally |
Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
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3,617 hugs
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#32
Quote:
I can be slow sometimes to pick up on some people's toxic ways. I suppose that's because I didn't grow up in the most healthy environment. I am learning over time how to be more vigilant. All of my closest friends in my circle are all wonderful, amazing people. I have nothing bad to say about them, and I love them all dearly, like I do a family member. They are my family in fact - extended family. But certain acquaintances I can do without. That's why they are merely acquaintances. And then others who make my blood boil, I want to keep at a great distance. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
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#33
Quote:
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#34
Well, gals, in my case I don’t think I have lots of trouble this kind because of my social anxiety. So, I don’t have to deal with people like other people have.
A positive point of my social anxiety. Thus, I’m a difficult person indeed, not easy going at all. Thanks aging, I’m learning to be less inflexible. But, I understand Have Hope, it’s very frustrating when there is no a two directional feedback. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Legendary Wise Elder
divine1966
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303
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#35
Quote:
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
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#36
Quote:
I think the kind of people Have Hope was referring to, I’m not like them. Indeed, curiosity is what keeps me alive so I would be an asshole if I was closed to other people help or advises. Noone knows everything. But, in some other aspects, I guess we are all difficult somehow and for some people. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Have Hope
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divine1966
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
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Location: Eastern, USA
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#37
The adjective, "difficult", I suppose can be applied to anyone in any given situation.
Like I know I've been difficult for my husband at times, to my parents perhaps when I become adamant, and for my boss at work when I get uppity about something, but I don't see myself being a "difficult" or challenging person overall, though some people may think differently. I get along with most people, I have some really close friendships, I am close with my family members, I don't like to fight or argue and I generally am laid back and easy to get along with. I've been told by people at work that I am pleasant to be around and to work with. Online I am sure I can come across very differently, and I am sure there are times online when people may think the complete opposite of me. What's tough about online is you cannot hear the person's voice or interpret their tone and you cannot read their body language and facial expressions. If people online knew me in real life, they may have a totally different impression of me, and probably a far better one. I know I can be blunt and very straight forward/no nonsense, and that I am guilty of for sure. Anyways.... I didn't mean to go off about myself here or on a complete tangent, but I am more so talking about the kind of person that makes things challenging in all of their relationships. At one point in this thread, I was talking about the narcissist, a type of person who really gets under my skin. My husband's parents I would say are difficult people because they bicker and argue and and his father barks loudly at his wife on top of saying many socially inappropriate/offensive/non pc things, which is very hard to be around And my own husband can be a difficult person sometimes, when he gets defensive and when he feels he needs to defend his stance at all costs. So I suppose there can be difficult and challenging moments with all people, but the type of person I am referring to is difficult and challenging a lot of the time. The kind of person that you have trouble being around for too long, and they're exhausting after a while -- draining, and you just don't get much that is positive from being around them. It's more like you feel the opposite after interacting with them -- negative. That's more the kind of person I mean. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#38
Yes, I understand. I understood you talked about people who you couldn’t give your voice because they only want to hear their echo.
I think I took a little off-topic your thread. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Have Hope
has no updates.
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043
(SuperPoster!)
3,617 hugs
given |
#39
Quote:
And your social anxiety? As hard as that may be, it may also be a blessing in disguise, in an odd sort of way. I'd rather not deal with most people, in all actuality. And the older I get, the less tolerance I have, like Divine was saying. I cannot put up with BS..... I have put up with BS for a lot of my life, and now I just don't have the time, the energy or the tolerance for it. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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AzulOscuro
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Grand Magnate
AzulOscuro
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,822
1,748 hugs
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#40
Quote:
Thank you for your kind words. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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