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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 06:06 AM
  #21
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
With your permission I’m gonna stick here a song by Taylor Swift called Dear John.
She dedicated this song to one of her ex. Who all indicates was pretty narcissistic.

YouTube

She describes very well how a person like this behaves in a romantic relationship.
Thanks for this!

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 04:16 PM
  #22
So my question is.....why make friends with people till you know what they are like?

When I meet people I am friendly just not friends. I observe for awhile before I decide whether they are the kind of person I can or want to become friends with. They are probably doing the the same thing with me. The distance exists because it is more of an acquaintance situation. That way if I realize there is no kind of connection, there is no drama of breaking up a friendship. If we become friends, it is a mutual feeling about friendship. Saves a lot of grief & drama in ones life

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 04:40 PM
  #23
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So my question is.....why make friends with people till you know what they are like?

When I meet people I am friendly just not friends. I observe for awhile before I decide whether they are the kind of person I can or want to become friends with. They are probably doing the the same thing with me. The distance exists because it is more of an acquaintance situation. That way if I realize there is no kind of connection, there is no drama of breaking up a friendship. If we become friends, it is a mutual feeling about friendship. Saves a lot of grief & drama in ones life
It's true, I have been quick to accept people into my life, and that's been my mistake.

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 06:23 PM
  #24
ggrrrrrrrrrrrr at the ''difficult people'' in the world who never realise that THEY are the ''problem''

hugs and respect to you

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 06:57 PM
  #25
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ggrrrrrrrrrrrr at the ''difficult people'' in the world who never realise that THEY are the ''problem''

hugs and respect to you
Remember, non-family memembers only become a problem TO US if we allow them into our life at that level. I have a tendency to take on the attitude.....let them be someone elses problem. Not interested in bringing people like that into my inner circle. That can actually apply with family too just harder at times. If enough people don't buy into their being difficult, they end up alone where they don't hurt others with their being difficult. Maybe they learn from it.....maybe not but it is their issue

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 07:28 PM
  #26
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So my question is.....why make friends with people till you know what they are like?

When I meet people I am friendly just not friends. I observe for awhile before I decide whether they are the kind of person I can or want to become friends with. They are probably doing the the same thing with me. The distance exists because it is more of an acquaintance situation. That way if I realize there is no kind of connection, there is no drama of breaking up a friendship. If we become friends, it is a mutual feeling about friendship. Saves a lot of grief & drama in ones life
Not always is easy to notice whether this person worths our time and friendship. There are people who cover themselves very well.

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Default Mar 14, 2020 at 08:39 PM
  #27
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Not always is easy to notice whether this person worths our time and friendship. There are people who cover themselves very well.
I protect myself well. I wait long enough to know & at my age, I have seen enough red flags they become obvious. I am also too independent to become friends before I really know someone. Most people stay at friendly acquaintance level in my life.....I have also learned there are personalities I get along with & those I don't & I don't try to force a friendship with personalities I don't enjoy being around which was been a blessing.

Lol....people who are covering themselves will usually slip up if only subtly. Being observant helps.....their true colors usually show through.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 12:43 AM
  #28
I find people like that difficult in online worlds when they have asked for opinions but dont really want them. Its one thing if they ask for support and someone is a jerk so they clarify they want support but its another when they ask for opinions and honesty and pick apart the ones they dont like. In instances like that I just move on.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 05:18 AM
  #29
In online worlds. I think people and words are often misunderstood Misunderstandings seems to happen quite frequently. And thanks, @sarahsweets Yes, I agree that that situation becomes difficult.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 06:32 AM
  #30
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Not always is easy to notice whether this person worths our time and friendship. There are people who cover themselves very well.
Soooo true. It can take time to truly get to know someone, and for that person to truly reveal themselves to you.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 08:29 AM
  #31
Some people are just difficult. Sometimes no diagnosing needed. That’s just how they are.

If they are our boss at work or elderly parent who needs to be taken care of, it’s somewhat hard to completely avoid them (even then we can try to limit interactions). In all other situations we simply have no need to have difficult people in our circles. People reveal themselves rather quickly. We just have to pay attention and stir opposite direction

Last edited by divine1966; Mar 15, 2020 at 08:42 AM.. Reason: Ommited a word accidentally
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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 08:41 AM
  #32
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Some people are just difficult. Sometimes diagnosing needed. That’s just how they are.

If they are our boss at work or elderly parent who needs to be taken care of, it’s somewhat hard to completely avoid them (even then we can try to limit interactions). In all other situations we simply have no need to have difficult people in our circles. People reveal themselves rather quickly. We just have to pay attention and stir opposite direction
Yes, you are right, @divine1966. My husband's parents can be pretty difficult, but they are elderly and sick, and therefore, I have compassion for their mental state right now, and yes, they are his parents after all.

I can be slow sometimes to pick up on some people's toxic ways. I suppose that's because I didn't grow up in the most healthy environment. I am learning over time how to be more vigilant.

All of my closest friends in my circle are all wonderful, amazing people. I have nothing bad to say about them, and I love them all dearly, like I do a family member. They are my family in fact - extended family. But certain acquaintances I can do without. That's why they are merely acquaintances. And then others who make my blood boil, I want to keep at a great distance.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 10:42 AM
  #33
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I find people like that difficult in online worlds when they have asked for opinions but dont really want them. Its one thing if they ask for support and someone is a jerk so they clarify they want support but its another when they ask for opinions and honesty and pick apart the ones they dont like. In instances like that I just move on.
Yes, Sarah, this is when people try to find validation. I can understand it but it must be a point in the middle where you are able to hear also what you don’t want to hear. It’s a lost of time to talk to this person when they are in this attitude.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 10:52 AM
  #34
Well, gals, in my case I don’t think I have lots of trouble this kind because of my social anxiety. So, I don’t have to deal with people like other people have.
A positive point of my social anxiety.
Thus, I’m a difficult person indeed, not easy going at all. Thanks aging, I’m learning to be less inflexible. But, I understand Have Hope, it’s very frustrating when there is no a two directional feedback.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 11:14 AM
  #35
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Well, gals, in my case I don’t think I have lots of trouble this kind because of my social anxiety. So, I don’t have to deal with people like other people have.
A positive point of my social anxiety.
Thus, I’m a difficult person indeed, not easy going at all. Thanks aging, I’m learning to be less inflexible. But, I understand Have Hope, it’s very frustrating when there is no a two directional feedback.
I don’t think being “not so easy going” means being difficult. I am not easy going myself, not at all. I don’t think I am that difficult though. As about getting more inflexible with age I can relate. My tolerance level is much lower now as when I was young. I don’t tolerate nonsense but I don’t dish it out either
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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 11:52 AM
  #36
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I don’t think being “not so easy going” means being difficult. I am not easy going myself, not at all. I don’t think I am that difficult though. As about getting more inflexible with age I can relate. My tolerance level is much lower now as when I was young. I don’t tolerate nonsense but I don’t dish it out either
I don’t know if I’m difficult or not easy-going.
I think the kind of people Have Hope was referring to, I’m not like them. Indeed, curiosity is what keeps me alive so I would be an asshole if I was closed to other people help or advises. Noone knows everything.
But, in some other aspects, I guess we are all difficult somehow and for some people.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 12:49 PM
  #37
The adjective, "difficult", I suppose can be applied to anyone in any given situation.

Like I know I've been difficult for my husband at times, to my parents perhaps when I become adamant, and for my boss at work when I get uppity about something, but I don't see myself being a "difficult" or challenging person overall, though some people may think differently. I get along with most people, I have some really close friendships, I am close with my family members, I don't like to fight or argue and I generally am laid back and easy to get along with. I've been told by people at work that I am pleasant to be around and to work with. Online I am sure I can come across very differently, and I am sure there are times online when people may think the complete opposite of me. What's tough about online is you cannot hear the person's voice or interpret their tone and you cannot read their body language and facial expressions. If people online knew me in real life, they may have a totally different impression of me, and probably a far better one. I know I can be blunt and very straight forward/no nonsense, and that I am guilty of for sure.

Anyways.... I didn't mean to go off about myself here or on a complete tangent, but I am more so talking about the kind of person that makes things challenging in all of their relationships. At one point in this thread, I was talking about the narcissist, a type of person who really gets under my skin.

My husband's parents I would say are difficult people because they bicker and argue and and his father barks loudly at his wife on top of saying many socially inappropriate/offensive/non pc things, which is very hard to be around And my own husband can be a difficult person sometimes, when he gets defensive and when he feels he needs to defend his stance at all costs.

So I suppose there can be difficult and challenging moments with all people, but the type of person I am referring to is difficult and challenging a lot of the time. The kind of person that you have trouble being around for too long, and they're exhausting after a while -- draining, and you just don't get much that is positive from being around them. It's more like you feel the opposite after interacting with them -- negative. That's more the kind of person I mean.

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Tongue Mar 15, 2020 at 12:58 PM
  #38
Yes, I understand. I understood you talked about people who you couldn’t give your voice because they only want to hear their echo.
I think I took a little off-topic your thread.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 01:03 PM
  #39
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Yes, I understand. I understood you talked about people who you couldn’t give your voice because they only want to hear their echo.
I think I took a little of topic your thread.
Oh no worries! Anything goes. Yes, people who only want to hear their own voice -- that bugs me to no end.

And your social anxiety? As hard as that may be, it may also be a blessing in disguise, in an odd sort of way. I'd rather not deal with most people, in all actuality. And the older I get, the less tolerance I have, like Divine was saying. I cannot put up with BS..... I have put up with BS for a lot of my life, and now I just don't have the time, the energy or the tolerance for it.

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Default Mar 15, 2020 at 01:10 PM
  #40
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Oh no worries! Anything goes. Yes, people who only want to hear their own voice -- that bugs me to no end.

And your social anxiety? As hard as that may be, it may also be a blessing in disguise, in an odd sort of way. I'd rather not deal with most people, in all actuality. And the older I get, the less tolerance I have, like Divine was saying. I cannot put up with BS..... I have put up with BS for a lot of my life, and now I just don't have the time, the energy or the tolerance for it.
Me too. People with social anxiety use to feel inferior to everyone or most of people but age also taught me what it’s worthy and what’s not.
Thank you for your kind words.

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