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Old 03-26-2020, 11:07 PM   #11
Open Eyes
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Default Re: Negative Conversations with My Mom

That's better (((Deilla))). Allow yourself to have feelings, remind yourself you are human. Sometimes we hand our heart to the wrong person too. And if that happens to be a parent, some decide it must be them, they are not worthy when that is simply not the case.
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Old 03-27-2020, 03:47 AM   #12
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Do you have to talk to your mother often?
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Old 03-27-2020, 03:37 PM   #13
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Default Re: Negative Conversations with My Mom

Have you ever looked into "Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers".. there's a behaviour check-list N mothers exhibit. It's worth a read.
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Old 03-27-2020, 09:01 PM   #14
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Yes, you can look up behaviors of Narcissistic mothers and see if what you read rings bells for you. I don't care to go right to that reason as it's not always the reason for lack of nurturing. Sometimes the mother genuinely is clueless.
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Old 03-28-2020, 01:06 AM   #15
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It's why I mentioned to look at the check list to see if anything else stands out. There's a list of 33 items. When I did it, I found my mother to exhibit 29/33.. which was quite real for me. It also allowed me to heal because it answered a lot of my questions I harboured for years.
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Old 03-28-2020, 05:04 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Do you have to talk to your mother often?
She only talks to me when I call. She never calls me. But I've been so upset by this cornavirus that I was calling more often. Normally I talk to her twice a week. I haven't called her since this incident happened. I don't plan to call her again. If she wants to know how I'm doing, she can call me. But she never calls any of her children. So I doubt I will hear from her.
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Old 03-28-2020, 05:04 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsLady View Post
Have you ever looked into "Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers".. there's a behaviour check-list N mothers exhibit. It's worth a read.
Thanks! I'll take a look at that.
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Old 04-03-2020, 05:46 AM   #18
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I went for almost a week without calling my mom. She got worried about me. My sister told me she was asking about me. She also called me. I am shocked. I didn't think she would do that. I guess she does care. But she has a strange way of showing it. I called her back the next day. She actually talked to me for 30 minutes. Another shock. All I could do was try not to judge her but show compassion for what she was saying. She's really scared of this virus.
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Old 04-03-2020, 07:02 AM   #19
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Default Re: Negative Conversations with My Mom

This is crazy time, isnít it. It would be ideal if everyone was supportive in this trying time. But sadly not everyone is.

You canít change how people are. You canít change your mom. But you can change your reaction. In situations when you canít stop contacts like if itís family, itís recommend to limit and shorten contact. Call less often. And and if mom says something offensive end a conversation. Tell her you got to go, use the bathroom, something burning on a stove, etc etc If she gets angry, itís on her and you not going to know because conversation is over. She can be angry in her own house

And itís a good idea to show compassion for her suffering. I bet she is scared.

Hugs and hang in there. The whole world now is struggling.
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