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Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 349
6 407 hugs
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#1
Hello I would like to wish wellness and peace and love for each of you and your loved ones during this uncertain and scary time for us all - please be safe , pray for the world and the people on it, all my love
I've not left my home for 2 weeks now since my country is on lockdown and I separated from my boyfriend of one year earlier today. Shout out to everyone who supported me on my posts about my boyfriend last year!! Sending my love !! I'm sad for us both. I should be happy to be free from his bullying and abuse but I'm mourning the good times and pondering on what could have been I'll never see him again.. be intimate with him again.. what will become of our happier memories together, what do they mean now? Although he made me feel so insecure from the very begining one year ago , I sometimes feel I was lucky to have been with someone who stayed with me despite my flaws. Yet I'm hurt how any connection we might've had was tarnished by his cruelty so for that I'm grateful to have this chance to move forward.. hooray for new beginnings!! Upsides upsides .. Being confined to my house for the next 2 weeks feeling this way.. I'm scared. Putting aside the more blatant fear of this virus.. I wonder how I can get through this break up in the best healthiest way?? Anyone who has gotten through a tough break up, I would be ever grateful knowing how.. and how I can apply it to these quarantined limits!! Also.. what are you doing to keep yourself happy and motivated during these times?? Thank you |
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Bill3, Have Hope, mote.of.soul, winter4me, WovenGalaxy
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Bill3, Chyialee, mote.of.soul, WovenGalaxy
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,854
4 4,842 hugs
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#2
Consider going "no contact." Delete him on facebook and block him too, on all social media, in case seeing him having fun or rebounding with someone else may trigger you.
Keep yourself busy. Now is the time to start exploring what interests you and giving your life purpose. Just because you're quarantined doesn't mean you can't do those things, for the most part. Talk to people who are kind and not abusive or cruel. Nurture the relationships in your life that are healthy. You'll get through this. |
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Bill3, eclairparty98
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Bill3, eclairparty98, winter4me
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
15 24.1k hugs
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#3
An idea for quarantine is to explore the art of thousands of artists at the Google Art Project. Google Arts & Culture |
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eclairparty98
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Chyialee, eclairparty98, winter4me, WovenGalaxy
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#4
delete him. if you have gone no contact then go no contact. be done.
there will always be memories...good, bad, ugly what ever. they will fade..all types. can't really do much about them. if he was being cruel then separating is a good thing. cruelness isn't a bonus + thing. no one deserves that..it isn't a positive point. as for 2 weeks...as someone mentioned...virtual tours, online classes, you can go for walks maybe, etc. 2 weeks will not kill you. read. write. enjoy the down time! |
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eclairparty98
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eclairparty98
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 86
5 4 hugs
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#5
Try to keep yourself busy during this pandemic so that you don't think about him. You can workout, bake, watch movie, sketch(if you know how to) and more.
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eclairparty98
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eclairparty98
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Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 349
6 407 hugs
given |
#6
Thank you all, for your replies - today, I plan to get back into painting and do some exercise bill3, thank you for the link WovenGalaxy, thank you for your lovely optimism,it means a lot to me. 1claire, thank you for your ideas, I'll try them
Resurgram, thank you for your supportive encouragement, I'll try reading and hoping the memories will soon not hurt so much. Be safe everyone |
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Bill3, mote.of.soul, WovenGalaxy
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Bill3, winter4me
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,628 hugs
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#7
Quote:
Naturally, you're going to have all the thoughts you're currently having - nostalgia over the good times and the what if's, coupled by the realities of the dark sides. Good for you for cutting the chord! Keep it that way, for sure. If you ever have doubts, a suggestion is to make a negatives list for yourself and list out every cruel thing he's ever said to you, along with anything mean/abusive/toxic he did that made you feel unworthy, insecure and terrible about yourself. Then when you're missing him or feeling lonely, refer to this list and it will be a very clear, black and white reminder of ALL the reasons why you left. I did this list for someone who abused me and I had a list of 72 items!!!!!! It REALLY helped me to get over him very quickly. I read it every single day and every single time I felt regret over the breakup. I knew I had done the right thing for myself, each time I read my list. It was very reaffirming. Everyone here has great advice for you. Now it's YOU time. Find things to occupy yourself with, do anything that is enjoyable to you that is within your means, and think about how you are now FREE from cruelty. You can still call and face time with friends and family, so do reach out to those who can nurture and support you. Most importantly, nurture yourself and be kind to yourself. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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eclairparty98, winter4me
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eclairparty98, winter4me
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Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 349
6 407 hugs
given |
#8
Quote:
Btw, I really love the quote in your footer !!!!! Very motivational. Be safe |
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Have Hope
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Have Hope
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,092
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,628 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
Yes, 72 items on the list was very eye opening!!!!!! And thank you for the compliment about my quote! The point of it is to be motivational for sure. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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eclairparty98
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eclairparty98
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