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Newly Joined
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Serbia
Posts: 1
4 |
#1
I have a girlfriend for 2.5 years now. I love her. I am very happy with her. We're planning our life together. Trying to have a baby. But for a long time (even before her) I was using some social networks and would chat with girls (most of the time anonymously) and told them how pretty they are, how hot and sexy they are (most of the time they were girls who posted some hot photos, some even nude ones). And even tho I would NEVER be with them or even have sex with them (and even if I dont really think they are pretty, but just "loose") I would tell them all of those things. If they would ask me for my name, I would lie. If they would ask me for my photo or personal instagram, facebook or such, I would STOP all communication with them.
My GF found out and was very very hurt. Even tho she saw that I would decline giving my real info, and would stop convo if I feel like they are getting personal. And she looks at it as a cheating. She's hurt. She dont trust me anymore. And she's thinking of breaking up with me. I promised to stop. All of those. To stop and to never do it again. And I would do anything not to lose her... The biggest question for me is.... WHY I have to do this? That's what troubles me... Usually I'm a completely nice, well-bread, gentleman... Every person I meet things so greatly of me... And then I need to humiliate myself and talk to some girls that are posting sexy photos, who are like some kind of "starlets" and here I have a perfect, loving, caring, BEAUTIFUL girl... Now she's having low self esteem because she has 4-5 kg overweight ( which I dont mind. I still think she's beautiful, hot and she makes me want her with all her body) and they are like "models"... Can anybody help me? |
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Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#2
You may get different perspectives and opinions on this issue. In my opinion what you’ve done borders on cheating and is a form of cheating. You were basically sexting, which many consider cheating.
Only you can answer the question about why you did this or feel the need to do this. But I would be very hurt too if that happened to me, and your girlfriend’s feelings are justified. If she breaks up with you, know that this kind of thing can easily end a relationship and that’s the risk you take. And there's really no way to truly fix it. She. may never trust you again, and she may always be wondering what you're up to, if you're still doing this, and she may feel differently about you as a result. This kind of thing can truly break a relationship. Sometimes, people can make it through the mistrust or the broken bond of trust, but it may not happen, and you'll just have to accept that. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Iloivar, lizardlady
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Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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#3
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Veteran Member
Member Since Feb 2020
Location: US
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#4
I would be hurt too. But given the truth about what was done, I think it's something that could be worked through. Personally, I wouldn't say it was cheating, but definitely concerning. I think the suggestion to see a therapist is a wise one for neutral, qualified help.
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Bill3, Chyialee
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Location: Michigan
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#5
I don't blame her for wanting to break up with you. You are not a safe partner. If she views it as cheating, it doesn't matter whether you think so or if anyone on this forum thinks so. What matters is HER feelings.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#6
It’s most certainly cheating. I’d have zero interest in staying with someone who does that.
Not sure why are you planning a baby if you aren’t fully committed to her? Now why are you doing it is a complex question. Perhaps you might want to explore it with a therapist? Could also be that you are young and aren’t ready to commit. Nothing wrong with exploring your options. Talking to girls and be causal, as long as you are open about it. I just don’t think you need to be with someone who is commitment oriented while you clearly are not yet in that place in life. I’d also wait on having babies |
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Molinit
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#7
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