Is this love or infatuation

Okay so it you haven't read my New Member Intro, I'd suggest you start there.

Here is my current situation - Married 17yrs, 3 children, good job, currently working remote due to stay-at-home order.
I started a new job in Oct 2019, which required me to commute, this is where I met this man (whom I beginning to think is a narcissist), not going to lie I was attracted, but didnt think anything of him at that time, although I knew he was interested. He is the train conductor and would always look for me (since i was never consistent on taking the same train), he would also smile and say nice things, like "your hair is really nice" and how I made his day when I would take his train...blah blah. At this point I figured he tells everyone that. Anyhow, a few months go by, its now January, he begins to save a seat for me, and occasionally holds the train when he sees me running late. He asked what I do, I said HR and he asked for my business card because he has a few HR questions, I didnt have one on me and gave him my cell (I know, but maybe I wanted it too). By this time we talk about our kids, he asks about my husband and continues to tell me how beautiful I am. He texted me one morning after I got off the train and tells me its so nice to finally get to know me.

Mid-January we are already in full blown texting mode and he invites me out for a drink, I said yes, because I was going out for a girls night and I figured, what was the harm in meeting for one drink...ugh I know, don't judge. We met we kiss and that was it at that time.

We continue to see each other (because i start taking his train more consistently) we start sexting, I like the attention and I'm sure he does too. We finally make a date to see each other, at his place, he lives alone. I go over and we have the best sex I've had in really long time. He continues to tell me he wants to take me out here and there and I can't help but think..."hello you know we cont go out in public", he starts getting upset because I try and tell him, I dont want to go any where with him and that maybe this should strictly bee sexual, so he tries to get all crazy with me. Telling me I was meant for him, and that he knew I was his when he first laid eyes on me. By this time, he is saying he loves me but plays all these damn mind games.

Now he is bringing my husband into our conversations, saying he is weak and that he knows I cheat but still stays with me, and that if that was him , he would dismiss me...blah blah. I tell him why is he so worried about my husband, when my husband is not worried about him.

So now, I think I need to cut him loose, not exactly sure how. Or maybe because i still want to sleep with him, but I want him to shut his mouth.

Any advice??

Well if you want to cut him out of your life that can be done easy block his number on your phone and do not take his train. You might want to see a Therapist to sort out your feelings.

Personally I dont agree with cheating as I was cheated on but if your okay about it then continue to see him, But your being shown some red flags his talking about your husband and how much he loves you.. You said " he tried to get all crazy with me" I see lots of red flags.

When someone shows you who they are you need to believe them... hes showing you alot about what kind of person he is.

Not judging but I have to say I hope your using condoms you dont need to give your husband an STD.

Welcome to PC

Here's what I consider RED FLAGS:
He's a potential narcissist who doesn't care about your family or your boundaries. He's wanting you to give him more than you're prepared to give and so he's getting angry and badmouthing your unsuspecting husband. In the name of good sex, you're willing to carry on with him.

I hate to be a jerk here, but guys are competitive. You don't know he's wanting you for the sake of "winning" rather than because he's in love with you. It's a steep risk on your part. If you suspect he's a narcissist, he's not going to care about how you fair off. It's all about power, control, and deceit. If you're right about this, he'll abuse and exploit you. Your children will find out. That would be devastating.

Thank you all this is very helpful, I broke it off, I don't need the headache. Also I think I just need to be alone, not with anyone.

All the best to you! I hope he doesn't retaliate. Before you break it off with your husband, would you consider couple's counseling?

Hello MsLady - Yes, I would consider couples counseling with my husband, but I feel like I need to get counseling for myself. I'm also terrified to go to counseling together, what if my infidelity does come out, but I guess it is what it is.

Well it’s possible this guy may tell your husband once he knows you will no longer see him.

I would then start off with individual counseling.. sort things out from your end first.