I’m so done

WovenGalaxy · Jun 16, 2020 at 01:18 PM

I hope you have protection from him being violent, AzulOscuro. I hope you are safe.

MsLady · Jun 16, 2020 at 01:32 PM

Quote:

Well, according to my partner, she was a lesbian and wanted something out of me so he put in my head this idea and I believed it. Of course, I don’t have contact with this person anymore. I ended up ignoring her what’s app messages.

I’m not sure about what the truth is.

That's really unfortunate because whether or not she's a lesbian, you're (presumably) not. If you're not inclined in that way, it wouldn't be an issue to spend time with her.

If you connected with this friend, I'd contact her after your seperation and apologize. Tell her your husband was intensely jealous and didn't allow you to have a social life. You don't have to give any great details. She may be very understanding and be a really good friend to you.

I hope all the best for you.

Edit: I didn't notice the second page when I posted. Please be safe. Can you request support from someone when letting him know about the separation? Police, even?

Discombobulated · Jun 16, 2020 at 03:10 PM

Azul is it wise to tell him about the separation?

He has hurt you before. He has shown violence to you and your belongings.

Can you make a plan to remove yourself and your belongings to a safe place? Are there a women's refuge you can contact to help you to give you space and a safe place while you find another place of your own away from him.

Stay safe.

AzulOscuro · Jun 17, 2020 at 06:42 AM

I never considered him a particular physical abusive person. He was more emotional abuser but it was for me pretty hard to notice it My guts have been telling me I wasn't feeling a swell as I should though. He has a charming personality however and he keeps it for the majority of people but I know the whole him and mainly I know how he behaves most of the time with me, especially when I feel low and insecure.

Being honest, I didn't expect he reached the point to be physical with me and after the bombing of e-mails I'm receiving from him these days there is not a single one in which he asks how my arm is going. All it's about he playing the role of the victim, making assumptions about me.

As he brought up the topic in e-mails, I have already told him that his assumptions are all wrong with the only exception that our relationship is finished and that we have to talk to look for the best way out for both.

sarahsweets · Jun 18, 2020 at 03:57 AM

You need to leave and go stay with someone who is supportive of your desire to leave him. I do not think it is safe to tell him this without a place to go to that is safe. Do not whitewash his abuse and say it wont happen again, it will happen again.

AzulOscuro · Jun 18, 2020 at 09:06 AM

I told my mum about it and she lives nearby. I made her promised me she won't tell my brother by now. I want to do things as best as possible.
The only option is him going out of the flat, because even when he contributed with the arrangements, it belongs to me, so I want to be fair with him and talk to him to give him a good way out.

The best of all and I thanks god for this is that we don't have kids even when it was his dream, I rejected that possibility partly because of my psychological issues and partly because I don't consider him the right person to rise a kid. At least, not with me as a couple and the circumstances under. I don't want to make him seem a horrible person but I saw his attitude with my nieces and nephew and I could say they are more mature than him. So, at least, no kid is gonna suffer or suffered.

AzulOscuro · Jun 24, 2020 at 03:22 PM

I was very clear in how the situation was unsustainable. I offered him an amity separation. I don’t want anything bad can happen to him. I want the best for him.
We have two doggies, they are our kids, no kidding, they are and I offered him to help him with his rent because he contributed a lot to the arrangements in the flat I’m still paying and that he could spend all the time he needed with the doggies.
He kept telling me that I was his life and that he doesn’t want a separation. He was gonna change. He was not going to pick up my phone and he’s gonna trust me.

I’m in a mess, actually. The opportunity to have him working out along the week, gave me a peace, a relief I hadn’t have in years.
My heart tell me that he’s a nice person but my guts tell me that I’m better without him.
He cried but I didn’t see tears.

I feel myself each day colder with him.

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WovenGalaxy Magnate Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Earth Posts: 2,854 4 4,842 hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 01:18 PM #21 I hope you have protection from him being violent, AzulOscuro. I hope you are safe.
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Discombobulated Grand Magnate Member Since Oct 2019 Location: UK Posts: 4,684 (SuperPoster!) 4 11.6k hugs given	Jun 16, 2020 at 03:10 PM #23 Azul is it wise to tell him about the separation? He has hurt you before. He has shown violence to you and your belongings. Can you make a plan to remove yourself and your belongings to a safe place? Are there a women's refuge you can contact to help you to give you space and a safe place while you find another place of your own away from him. Stay safe.
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sarahsweets Threadtastic Postaholic Member Since Dec 2018 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!) 5 192 hugs given	Jun 18, 2020 at 03:57 AM #25 You need to leave and go stay with someone who is supportive of your desire to leave him. I do not think it is safe to tell him this without a place to go to that is safe. Do not whitewash his abuse and say it wont happen again, it will happen again. __________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society.
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