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AzulOscuro
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Default Jun 01, 2020 at 12:17 PM
  #1
I was trying to reply to an e-mail from a person who was worried about my depression. He’s a guy. And my partner asked, I told him the truth and he saw with bad eyes that I spoke to a guy. He took my i-phone and dropped it. He began to drop things in the house.
Now, today, as he works out in the week, I have received a bunch of messages where he says what he has in his head. He thinks I’m addicted to sex in internet because I had a relation on the net with a guy, at about a year ago and a period when I was very strange to him because of how things were going on in our relation.
The thing is that his bad manners only set me very far from him and I doubt I could be going on coping with it.
I was very happy a month ago because I was feeling very close to him and I have a big hope of things get better but he’s always with doubts about me and the way he reacts doesn’t help.

I have to say that he had a crush on a girl he met online before I did it, while I was into a depression. I overcome it. I don’t take his phone to see who he is talking to as he usually does.
I’m so fed up with this situation.

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Default Jun 01, 2020 at 12:31 PM
  #2
How he reacted, what he did, what he said: all so wrong. I'm very sorry that you have had to deal with his many wrong actions.

No wonder you are fed up.

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Default Jun 01, 2020 at 02:19 PM
  #3
Sorry for everything is going on with you, you are soft and weak and u deserve something pure, no less than pure.
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 03:52 AM
  #4
I'm sorry that's happened to you, Azul. He should apologize for his childish, and even abusive behavior, in my view, yes. But whatever the case, I hope things settle down soon for you, so you can feel comfortable with him again. It should be all about peace.
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 10:57 AM
  #5
It’s curious how I can’t stand bad manners towards anybody but I take in myself. I’m not gonna win the gold medal of setting boundaries.
I have been living this for 19 years only that these outbursts were less intense.
It was when I saw myself a little more able to have my own friendships that it all turned harder and ugly.
He was always a very jealousy guy, but as I have social anxiety and I barely had contact with other people, it wasn’t ever a problem.

He’s even jealousy of girls. A year ago, I met a lovely lady who used to take her doggie to the same park I take my doggies. She’s another crazy of animals, especially doggies and we quickly connected each other. Rare for me because I don’t usually attract a person or connect with them so quickly. Well, according to my partner, she was a lesbian and wanted something out of me so he put in my head this idea and I believed it. Of course, I don’t have contact with this person anymore. I ended up ignoring her what’s app messages.

I’m not sure about what the truth is. He has lots of experience with people. He’s a people person but thus, he has lots of experience in relationships. Just like the opposite to me.

But, one thing I have clear, as mote says, there must be peace. Together, the better but if not, separated.

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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 11:14 AM
  #6
Mean, sick, deceitful people do abuse people who they perceive as ''soft and weak'... in truth, its the abusers who are Weak.

I'm sorry some jerk screwed you over.

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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 11:15 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
How he reacted, what he did, what he said: all so wrong. I'm very sorry that you have had to deal with his many wrong actions.

No wonder you are fed up.


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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 11:29 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Mean, sick, deceitful people do abuse people who they perceive as ''soft and weak'... in truth, its the abusers who are Weak.

I'm sorry some jerk screwed you over.
I understand this tactic. He was always a broken soul as well. Maybe this is why we attracted each other.

Now, today, suddenly, his messages are far from being judgements, now, he’s all about going out together to have some fun.

I’m afraid my Papa Beard is more difficult to deal with that yours.

Thanks for your support!

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Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 12:17 PM
  #9
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Now, today, suddenly, his messages are far from being judgements, now, he’s all about going out together to have some fun.
Abusive people often have cycles in their behavior. Interludes of being nice help keep up hope in the other person, hope that permanent change can happen. These interludes may be more likely to occur when the abusive person is experiencing some fear that the other person may leave. However, unless the abusive person is actually doing consistent, serious work on themselves, such as in therapy, these episodes of niceness typically are short-lived.
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 08:03 PM
  #10
I am sorry. But you are being mistreated. Are you planning on staying with him?
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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 01:58 PM
  #11
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I am sorry. But you are being mistreated. Are you planning on staying with him?
I’ve been thinking for a year about leaving the relation. And I was thinking mainly of his own wellbeing, since I consider myself the one to be blamed, better said, the one who had changed. I have living a long period when I felt very strange, very far from him emotionally, so, I considered I was the one who failed.
But now I see that a big part of me feeling emotionally cold with him was as a way of protecting me for the treat received.

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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 02:07 PM
  #12
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But now I see that a big part of me feeling emotionally cold with him was as a way of protecting me for the treat received.
That makes complete sense to me.
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Default Jun 03, 2020 at 04:07 PM
  #13
It’s only expected to feel emotionally cold towards people who treat us poorly. I bet you’ll feel very warm with a loving and kind person. I’d not worry about his well being. I am sure he’ll be just fine
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Default Jun 14, 2020 at 01:20 PM
  #14
Today he crossed the last line. He broke my phone and hit my face and arm. I can' t expect anything good out of him anymore.

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Default Jun 14, 2020 at 01:25 PM
  #15


I'm really sorry that you experienced thar.

What will you do now?
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Default Jun 14, 2020 at 05:46 PM
  #16
Make a police report and press charges please. Don’t stay alone with him please. You aren’t safe
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Default Jun 15, 2020 at 10:23 AM
  #17
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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post


I'm really sorry that you experienced thar.

What will you do now?
I don't know how or when I'm gonna do it but it all has to do with a separation. I can't write a lot all I wanted to express now because as my phone got smashed I'm writing on another devise I'm not used to and it's taking me a world of an effort. But, I need to talk with you, guys about this, you too, @Divine, you are both very supportive and at this point in my life for different reasons I'm more alone than ever. What it's not necessary bad in my case. I will explain later.

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Default Jun 15, 2020 at 12:27 PM
  #18
I'm terribly sorry that happened. Get out as bad as you can.
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Default Jun 15, 2020 at 03:13 PM
  #19
In spite that I have a pain and a bruise in my arm, I'm not scared of him. Obviously, you never know how a person is gonna react when you face to him with a separation but I don't have any other choice.
There were moments when I thought we can fix things up and spend the rest of our lives together because we didn't begin to be together yesterday or neither a year ago...we've been together for 18 years.

I recognise that he didn't always give me the best treat and I'm a very careful and affectionable person. I noticed it and I went little by little much colder each day and building my world apart. Never dared to break my dependency however and this is has to do directly with my psychological issues, me, being a person full of fears, especially, fears to function socially as a normal person and with big dependency on others.

Today, however, things are very different in my life for several reasons. Not in the sense that I progressed a lot in my issues, wished I could say that, in the sense that I don't count with the social support I had in the past. It's my fault but I prefer it like that. I only want with me people I feel comfortable with and I see worthy. I rather be alone as much scary as this situation of being alone may be terrifying and challenging for me.

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Default Jun 16, 2020 at 12:40 PM
  #20
I feel secure these days. He's working out along the week and I don't think he gets physical with me anymore but as I'm gonna tell him about the separation I'm sure she's gonna do one of his shows.
I'm determined. I don't want any of us suffer with the separation and I want it the best for both parties but I'm determined. It's the best.

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