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LaserLights
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Member Since: Jun 2020
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Confused Jun 01, 2020 at 12:58 PM
  #1
Hello everyone!

For the last few years I was dealing with some hardcore general anxiety problems. Then last year, I finally decided to get help from a clinic and since then I'm slowly, but steadily getting better. I changed a lot about my life, including breaking up with my then girlfriend. She was a nice girl, but we wanted different things from life. Long story short, the relationship stressed me out a lot and I was immensely relieved when it finally ended.

Now a year has passed and in a few days I'll have my first date since then. Till yesterday i was looking forward to it. It made me happy and I wasn't thinking about it much, I mean it's just a date right? I'm not commiting to anything yet. But BOOM yesterday suddenly worries hit me in the face, full on panic attack. "Am I ready for this stuff? I don't know if I'm strong enough for a relationship yet. The last one stressed me out so hard and I enjoy being independend. But I also miss kissing and hugging and stuff. I don't want to stay single forever! But maybe I should cancel it, it clearly affects my mental health.. What the hell am I supposed to do? " Super irrational fear stuff

If I'm already panicking, just because of a simple date, maybe I should cancel it and wait a few months until I'm more stable for those things? Or should I bite the bullet and just do it? If I flee from this date, because I'm scared, it will be the same with the next date... I really don't know what to do.

Any advice?
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MsLady
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 02:49 AM
  #2
Go on the date. It's just a date. No commitment and you might make a platonic friendship out of it. Keep things light. The longer you put it off, the harder it may be to get back on that horse.

When it comes to anxieties, I've learned we're suppose to work through it rather than avoid what's triggering it. So, give it a whirl. Practice the dating world all over again.

Good luck!
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mote.of.soul
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 04:01 AM
  #3
See how you feel on the day there, buddy. No use doing stuff when you basically feel sick right? I mean, dating's meant to be a happy time isn't it? Or, on the other hand, if you think you can handle the date okay, if you feel that your anxiety is under control enough to have a nice time, then all the best to you LaserLights.

And good luck for the date as well.👍
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LaserLights
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Smile Jun 02, 2020 at 07:00 AM
  #4
Thanks you two! I guess I'm gonna try it out (If I feel well enough). Even though the anxiety feels bad, my gut feeling tells me, that I should just do it.

So what if it's not going to work out? So what if it'll take me a few tries until I feel confident enough for a relationship? Months, years even? It doesn't matter, I have all the time in the world. As long as I don't rush things and listen to myself it's probably going to be fine. Even if it's hard sometimes
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RockyRoad007
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 01:18 PM
  #5
Kudos to you for trying. I have struggled with debilitating shyness most of my life, so I understand what you are going thru.

Next time you have a date with someone new, why not suggest getting together for coffee instead? Not a full fledged date, but wading in a little slower. Might be less intimidating.

Also, keep in mind, it is not unusual to get nervous on a first date, whether you suffer from anxiety or not.

Good luck on your date!
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MsLady
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Default Jun 02, 2020 at 03:55 PM
  #6
How did the date go?
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