[rdgrad15]

Is anyone afraid to ask for help from other people? If so, what are the reasons? For me, it is because I don't like to burden other people or don't want to come off as stupid or treated like I'm stupid, depending who I'm around.

[1imaan1]

Wow.. that same reasons i have.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by 1imaan1

Wow.. that same reasons i have.

Yep. Pretty common and understandable reasons.

[divine1966]

No I don’t have issues asking for help. Granted I don’t ask too often but I see zero issues in asking. Now I won’t be asking strangers. Are these staff members or friends or family? I think it makes one more stupid not asking for help and doing things wrong or inefficiently than actually asking. I think it’s smart to ask for help and most people would consider you being smart for asking for help, not stupid.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

No I don’t have issues asking for help. Granted I don’t ask too often but I see zero issues in asking. Now I won’t be asking strangers. Are these staff members or friends or family? I think it makes one more stupid not asking for help and doing things wrong or inefficiently than actually asking. I think it’s smart to ask for help and most people would consider you being smart for asking for help, not stupid.

In this case, I was just thinking in general. But to be more specific, if I'm with friends or family, I'm more likely not going to bother because I just don't want to burden them. Now for work, if I need help or have a question, I just go to my supervisor. I only go to my coworkers if I have no other option because they are the kinds of people who get annoyed if anyone asks for help. It's not right, shouldn't be that way, but it happens. Also they are more likely to think I'm stupid.

But I agree, in a work setting, it is always better to ask a stupid question to make sure something is right than to assume you're right only to see how badly you messed up. So I just put up with any criticism I receive at work just so I know I'm doing my job right. And any eye rolls I receive at work always comes from my coworkers so that's why if I have to ask for help or have a question, I go to my supervisor first. Coworkers are my last resort. And yeah, I never ask strangers for help. I don't feel comfortable unless it's a store employee.

[divine1966]

Coworkers shouldn’t roll their eyes when asked for help. It’s all kind of unprofessional.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by divine1966

Coworkers shouldn’t roll their eyes when asked for help. It’s all kind of unprofessional.

Oh I totally agree.

[MsLady]

For me it depends. Professionally, I prefer to ask a hundred questions and for help instead of making mistakes. I know it works both ways and I'm always happy to help others in return.

I don't like asking family or friends for help. I don't want to be a "burden" to others and reaching out hasn't always been well received. Everyone has their "stuff" going on. My partner is the opposite and is often asking his parents for help. I always feel guilty or uncomfortable or like I need to return this favour somehow. Maybe it's an attachment issue.

I grew up in the "latch-key" generation where children were expected to take care of themselves. There were no daycare or afterschool programs to participate in. We made our own breakfasts and lunches, and often would start dinner before our parents came home from work. We walked ourselves to/from school. We had certain chores to do, and if we had homework, it was up to us to get it done. If we didn't understand the material, we were expected to talk with our teachers, not our parents. If there was a problem, don't stress others about it. If there was a crisis, deal with it yourself.. at least in our home, anyway. This mentality extended into adulthood. I'm amazed how often my mom complains about how "secretive" and "independent" I am now. She once said, "I hope I didn't raise you to be too independent." Umm, yes, she did, and her entire generation, too, to no fault of their own.

You may be interested in reading more about the different generations and how they play into each other. I wish I had a good book to recommend. I'm in search for one, myself.

As for your colleagues, gee, where do you work that you can't turn to them for assistance? Eye-rolling is contempt. It's a problem. It's unprofessional. Maybe it's worth asserting yourself in this, next time you reach out to them.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by MsLady

For me it depends. Professionally, I prefer to ask a hundred questions and for help instead of making mistakes. I know it works both ways and I'm always happy to help others in return.

I don't like asking family or friends for help. I don't want to be a "burden" to others and reaching out hasn't always been well received. Everyone has their "stuff" going on. My partner is the opposite and is often asking his parents for help. I always feel guilty or uncomfortable or like I need to return this favour somehow. Maybe it's an attachment issue.

I grew up in the "latch-key" generation where children were expected to take care of themselves. There were no daycare or afterschool programs to participate in. We made our own breakfasts and lunches, and often would start dinner before our parents came home from work. We walked ourselves to/from school. We had certain chores to do, and if we had homework, it was up to us to get it done. If we didn't understand the material, we were expected to talk with our teachers, not our parents. If there was a problem, don't stress others about it. If there was a crisis, deal with it yourself.. at least in our home, anyway. This mentality extended into adulthood. I'm amazed how often my mom complains about how "secretive" and "independent" I am now. She once said, "I hope I didn't raise you to be too independent." Umm, yes, she did, and her entire generation, too, to no fault of their own.

You may be interested in reading more about the different generations and how they play into each other. I wish I had a good book to recommend. I'm in search for one, myself.

As for your colleagues, gee, where do you work that you can't turn to them for assistance? Eye-rolling is contempt. It's a problem. It's unprofessional. Maybe it's worth asserting yourself in this, next time you reach out to them.

I totally agree with you. I don't like to burden people. In fact, I've mentioned in previous threads on here that I've had experiences where people may claim that they are okay with helping me out with something or doing a favor, only to find out that they didn't want to do it or that it was inconvenient, even though usually it was small stuff. And I've seen it happen many times to other people as well, not just to me. Someone may say they're okay with doing something or helping, when in fact, they really don't want to be bothered and may become annoyed. And I'll have to check into reading about the different generations. Sounds pretty cool.

And as for coworkers rolling their eyes and getting annoyed, yeah it is unprofessional. Not just towards me, but I've seen it happen to a couple others as well. I've thought about calling them out on their crap but the problem is that they are way older than me. I'm 30 and they are all in their 40's, 50's, and 60's, so they could easily see that as me trying to cause them problems and get me in trouble. And we all work in a high school, you would think they would act more mature than the students we deal with. Quite embarrassing if you think about it. Really wish I could say something though. It's ridiculous and unprofessional.

[downandlonely]

I also have issues asking for help, because I don't want people to think I need help (even though I do sometimes obviously. Everyone does). It's something I need to work on.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I also have issues asking for help, because I don't want people to think I need help (even though I do sometimes obviously. Everyone does). It's something I need to work on.

Yeah same here. That's another reason, I don't want people thinking I'm stupid. Depending on what it is and who's around.