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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#1
Is anyone afraid to ask for help from other people? If so, what are the reasons? For me, it is because I don't like to burden other people or don't want to come off as stupid or treated like I'm stupid, depending who I'm around.
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MsLady, Open Eyes
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 16
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#2
Wow.. that same reasons i have.
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Open Eyes
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#3
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,362
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#4
No I don’t have issues asking for help. Granted I don’t ask too often but I see zero issues in asking. Now I won’t be asking strangers. Are these staff members or friends or family? I think it makes one more stupid not asking for help and doing things wrong or inefficiently than actually asking. I think it’s smart to ask for help and most people would consider you being smart for asking for help, not stupid.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#5
Quote:
But I agree, in a work setting, it is always better to ask a stupid question to make sure something is right than to assume you're right only to see how badly you messed up. So I just put up with any criticism I receive at work just so I know I'm doing my job right. And any eye rolls I receive at work always comes from my coworkers so that's why if I have to ask for help or have a question, I go to my supervisor first. Coworkers are my last resort. And yeah, I never ask strangers for help. I don't feel comfortable unless it's a store employee. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#6
Coworkers shouldn’t roll their eyes when asked for help. It’s all kind of unprofessional.
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MsLady, rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#7
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MsLady
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2020
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,143
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#8
For me it depends. Professionally, I prefer to ask a hundred questions and for help instead of making mistakes. I know it works both ways and I'm always happy to help others in return.
I don't like asking family or friends for help. I don't want to be a "burden" to others and reaching out hasn't always been well received. Everyone has their "stuff" going on. My partner is the opposite and is often asking his parents for help. I always feel guilty or uncomfortable or like I need to return this favour somehow. Maybe it's an attachment issue. I grew up in the "latch-key" generation where children were expected to take care of themselves. There were no daycare or afterschool programs to participate in. We made our own breakfasts and lunches, and often would start dinner before our parents came home from work. We walked ourselves to/from school. We had certain chores to do, and if we had homework, it was up to us to get it done. If we didn't understand the material, we were expected to talk with our teachers, not our parents. If there was a problem, don't stress others about it. If there was a crisis, deal with it yourself.. at least in our home, anyway. This mentality extended into adulthood. I'm amazed how often my mom complains about how "secretive" and "independent" I am now. She once said, "I hope I didn't raise you to be too independent." Umm, yes, she did, and her entire generation, too, to no fault of their own. You may be interested in reading more about the different generations and how they play into each other. I wish I had a good book to recommend. I'm in search for one, myself. As for your colleagues, gee, where do you work that you can't turn to them for assistance? Eye-rolling is contempt. It's a problem. It's unprofessional. Maybe it's worth asserting yourself in this, next time you reach out to them. |
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
7 199 hugs
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#9
Quote:
And as for coworkers rolling their eyes and getting annoyed, yeah it is unprofessional. Not just towards me, but I've seen it happen to a couple others as well. I've thought about calling them out on their crap but the problem is that they are way older than me. I'm 30 and they are all in their 40's, 50's, and 60's, so they could easily see that as me trying to cause them problems and get me in trouble. And we all work in a high school, you would think they would act more mature than the students we deal with. Quite embarrassing if you think about it. Really wish I could say something though. It's ridiculous and unprofessional. |
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MsLady
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: United States
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#10
I also have issues asking for help, because I don't want people to think I need help (even though I do sometimes obviously. Everyone does). It's something I need to work on.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
7 199 hugs
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#11
Yeah same here. That's another reason, I don't want people thinking I'm stupid. Depending on what it is and who's around.
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bpcyclist
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bpcyclist
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