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Old 07-29-2020, 06:28 AM   #31
AceScot
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Default Re: Cope with separation...

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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Have you tried antidepressants AceScot? It can get crippling when depression sets in, you need to let your doctor know how much you are struggling. Perhaps you need to up your meds or try a new medication.
Changing my meds Venlapaxine at the start of my depression in Sept 19 made me more suicidal than l have ever experienced and now on my new meds no real difference and lm terrified to change anything after my last experience. I am currently on 3x70mg of Lofepramine which don't seem to be making a difference.
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Old 07-29-2020, 06:33 AM   #32
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I am sorry you are suffering through this. You are brave to move forward.

Did you end up talking to her on the phone about finances?
Spoke with her face to face, l mostly sobbed and asked her to take me back. She knows all about the finances and has complete control whereas l just signed things never thinking this would happen. Her mind is made and will not be unmade..... I can't stop loving her and this will cause me to lose not only her but my half of our life and savings. We agreed to sell our house but only because l couldn't buy her out.
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Old 07-29-2020, 12:43 PM   #33
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Well, we don't ever have to stop loving those who have been a huge part of our lives. I still love my ex-wife, but I have to do so in a new way now. And that love still changes even 5+ years later.

I was thinking about your situation today when this song popped up on youtube. Hopefully it is not too sad, and maybe will help you to think about priorities in your life and health. You are a brave person for reaching out. Everyone here wants to see you succeed!

Alison Krauss & Union Station - On The Outside Looking In - YouTube
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Old 07-29-2020, 08:47 PM   #34
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Iím sorry Ace that your meeting was just another hurt like that.

Are you seeing a therapist you can talk to to help you navigate this challenge?
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Old 08-01-2020, 02:03 PM   #35
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Ace,

I know you're suffering, and I have been to the depths of the hell you are in. My condolences my friend. I was very much like you, wishing that my ex would take me back...I even prayed to God in the hopes that he would intervene. Here is the antidote to your despair and desire, remember not all marriages have good times. Try to remember the bad times, because there were bad times. Remember what didn't work, what negative events happened during the marriage? Those memories will help you stop from placing your wife on a pedestal. She isn't perfect and remember, broke her promise to you.

Remember the bad in the marriage....this will help release the insatiable desire to return to her. One example in my marriage that I will share with you. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and have panic attacks. I remember having a panic attack one day and asked my then wife to rub my back or hold me, she looked at me and said these words...I can't help you....This helped me remove her from her platform.

--Sarc

Last edited by sarcgeo; 08-01-2020 at 03:14 PM..
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Old 08-03-2020, 03:53 AM   #36
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Default Re: Cope with separation...

Thank you for sharing your pain and story as read ming through has helped even me as I am now separated from my spouse and I have some of the same struggles.

You can get through. We all can
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Old 08-07-2020, 08:55 AM   #37
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Haven't written for a few days, l have moved into a flat, alone. Went home to pick some things up and l find myself back to the horrible beginning. My ex wife has completely moved on, 6 months and she doesn't even engage in conversation, nothing, nothing, nothing. It has hit me harder than anything else l have encountered. But yet my wife has the rest of her life planned out. Do l want to live or die..... I don't know. I have lost everything.
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Old 08-07-2020, 10:35 PM   #38
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Haven't written for a few days, l have moved into a flat, alone. Went home to pick some things up and l find myself back to the horrible beginning. My ex wife has completely moved on, 6 months and she doesn't even engage in conversation, nothing, nothing, nothing. It has hit me harder than anything else l have encountered. But yet my wife has the rest of her life planned out. Do l want to live or die..... I don't know. I have lost everything.
You have to move forward! You are taking steps. It takes time. You are doing great. I wish you could see that it gets better. Trust us on these forums. We want to see you succeed. Some day you will be able to help someone out with the same problems. You're a great guy!
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Old Yesterday, 09:49 AM   #39
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I've tried to start moving forward but today l find myself crying, wanting to end it all. I'm frightened and all alone. I have family and friends l could reach out to but l choose not to, l choose this horrible empty existance... I tell lies to Dr's and counsellers l tell lies to my mother, sisters and best friends. I say lm OK, lm not l cant see a future. I hope that tomorrow is a better day and my mood improves. The woman who was my wife is right, lm not trying to get better, lm not trying hard enough. That's nearly a year of severe depression, empty hole of despair. I really can't go on like this.
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Old Yesterday, 08:11 PM   #40
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((((AceScot))) depression isnít something someone just snaps out of. And what you are experiencing with your wife is no easy challenge to just snap out of either.

You should be seeing a therapist even though itís so hard to reach out for help. You will have these challenging days so itís important that you are kind to yourself. Donít give in to the thoughts of ending your life either. Acknowledge you feel it but commit to working on just getting through the day. Patience with self is very important. Thanks for the update. Please reach out to your therapist though.
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