Cope with separation...

You originally said that you can't see yourself getting past losing your wife and house and seeing a future for yourself, and yet here you are! I don't mean this sarcastically at all, but you DID get past losing your wife and house. I don't mean to sound cold, but she left you. You had to move out. You mentioned some type of financial loss with your wife as well. Yet, here you are! You may feel alone. You may feel like you have no future, but you got through the initial separation. You got through your meeting with her over finances. You may not feel any better. You may not think you are moving forward because of these losses, but you are!

I had to hit rock bottom before I woke up. I lost everything, too. My family, friends, reputation, finances, all destroyed. I lived in hell handing my children over to my ex-wife and her abusive boyfriend. All that was pure pain and sadness. Yet here I am! Here to tell someone else my story and I am not alone, because I am talking to you!

Oh god, oh god, oh god, nothing is good lve accepted my wife has left me but my mood is not moving at all. Dark thoughts returning but so gutless l fear dieing. Staggered back to work but everyday is a struggle beyond belief. Living like a hermit, not going out, ignoring friends and family. Doing **** all, that is a year of this depressive madness. I need a miracle and they don't happen.......

AceScot how about seeing if there is a support group you can join? You have Pych central and that gives you a place to vent but it helps even more if you can sit with others in person who understand and are working through this challenge too.

It’s a challenge when struggling with mental illness and not having others in your life be it family or spouse that can be understanding and supportive. That’s when it’s important to reach out to others that can be more supportive.

Sept 14th all l have done is lie to everyone Psychiatrist, family: sons, sister, mother, father and all my friends. At work l have lied to my boss and workmates. I am a failure a ****ing failure, l am pushing myself and l cant handle it. My head is still broken my life is still in total chaos. All these lies will come home to roost and will destroy me..... I took a handful of tablets yesterday but will tell no one. Sitting here no further forward than when l tried to end my life last December 19.

You should at least be honest with your therapist.

What do you lie about?

I lie about how l feel mentally, l did it initially to keep my job but now lm back at work all the lies are piling the pressure on me as the expectations of my workmates and management are high and l cant fulfil them. My mental health has improved sightly but it still not great. I also tell lies to my close family l don't want them to know how ill l still am and suicidal.

October the 10th, l have went back to work part time. I have moved back into my marital home. Both these have again crushed my mental health. Sitting here, lve got two options, give up work and move out to where l don't know, end it all but lm scared to do it but l want to end all this hopelessness and lack of motivation. My life as l know it is over the life lve led and the woman l love is over, ended, finished. Hope has gone from my life, the drive, excitement the love.... OVER. Its over a year l have carried this burden of severe depression and hoped to beat it. Tried medication, Psychiatrist, therapy. I'm the only one who can beat this and l cant do it. Dying is a better option than how l have fely over the last 13 months.

Sorry, this topic hasn't shown on my screen for some reason. I have a lot to say, but must go for now. I completely sympathize. Hang in there!!

In my opinion, what you are doing is perfectly natural. I wouldn't even consider it lying. I want to start out by saying that it is not the healthiest coping mechanism. Everything is circumstantial, though.

I would consider it "guarding your feelings". It seems obvious to me that you are severely depressed and have suicidal thoughts. I don't mean any disrespect. I just know from personal experience that MOST people do not know how to handle it when we share these things with them. I know it's a hard pill to swallow.

The good news is, that everyone here has been through similar things or can at least handle you telling us about it!

I told you before my experience with divorce, suicidal issues, depression, anxiety, and a multitude of other horrible things. There's no need to "lie" here. I really like your posts. It helps me feel normal when you talk of the misery of having to let go of your wife. I know how awful that is. I know how hard it is to have to hide your feelings from your friends and family. They don't get it!

I don't know how they react to your depression but I'm guessing it's not very sympathetic. I'm guessing people say they are tired of hearing about it. Guess what! We are tired of feeling it!! Damnit!!!

Just trying to say that you are not alone. Don't beat yourself up for "lying" about your feelings. You deserve a break because you are worth it!!!

October the 10th, l have went back to work part time. I have moved back into my marital home. Both these have again crushed my mental health. Sitting here, lve got two options, give up work and move out to where l don't know, end it all but lm scared to do it but l want to end all this hopelessness and lack of motivation. My life as l know it is over the life lve led and the woman l love is over, ended, finished. Hope has gone from my life, the drive, excitement the love.... OVER. Its over a year l have carried this burden of severe depression and hoped to beat it. Tried medication, Psychiatrist, therapy. I'm the only one who can beat this and l cant do it. Dying is a better option than how l have fely over the last 13 months.

Well, you don't need to get better on your own. You have a therapist. Someone mentioned earlier that you should at least be honest with your therapist. I agree with this.

Again, sorry about your marriage. I know it is a terrible loss.

Why did you move back in your old house?

are you telling me to cope
with separation>
or aM I confused

I agree, its good also to stay in communication with her. Its a shame she gave up on you. I wish you all the best in future. If you have kids if can cause problems if the relationship was toxic. Get the help you need for your depression.