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New Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: Evansville, Indiana
Posts: 2
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Jul 07, 2020 at 12:44 AM
#1
Hello,
I am divorced after being in a 30 year marriage with a man who hated to touch, kiss, etc. I was a roommate that he said hello to. I am in a relationship (5 years now) that deep down inside, I know is toxic, just cannot seem to pull myself away from him.  He likes everyone to know he has arrived and if you are talking to someone he will act like a child in order to gain your attention. Everything is my fault, I caused him to get angry, to say ugly words. I am an only child, all my relatives are gone, no friends.  Today, I am mad  at him & myself for allowing him to treat me the way he does. I feel very stupid  for telling myself he will do better.
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 Bill3, Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367
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Jul 07, 2020 at 05:12 AM
#2
I am sorry to hear you are struggling. It’s possible you were lonely and vulnerable and fell prey to toxic man. No it will not get better. If it didn’t in 5 years, it won’t.
There are wonderful things you can do as a single person. Hobbies, volunteering, going places, enjoying your house to yourself, doing things your way and maybe trying to make new friends? I’d say everything sounds better than being in a toxic relationship. Do you live together? Depend on him financially? (Hope not) |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,083
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Jul 07, 2020 at 05:42 AM
#3
My abusive husband does the same to me and I plan on divorcing him. Nothing has changed, despite promises to never yell at me again. He blames me for every single fight, even though he's the one raising his voice at me and starting each fight, he blames me for his ugly words to me, and he tells me I am "psycho" and says things like "you have problems!" and "no wonder you've never been married!" He's abusive, mean and cruel.
Trust me, after five years, it will not get better. Best to free yourself now, save your mental health and sanity. And yes, you were probably very vulnerable coming off of a bad 30 year marriage. Try not to beat yourself up over getting involved with someone toxic. It can happen to anyone. The key is to LEARN from it, grow from it and not keep making the same mistakes. Being single has many advantages, and at least you won't be dealing with his toxicity anymore. You don't deserve this. Know that you deserve far better, even if it means being single. Love yourself, respect yourself and free yourself. Hugs. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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