Don't want to cause embarrassment

Hi everyone. I bought a sign to put in the front yard for my daughter's 16th birthday. It's only about 24 inches long by 15 inches wide, so not some huge goliath sign that would take up the whole yard. However, my daughter tends to not like lots of attention. She said she was okay with the sign and lots of other people have had graduation signs in their yard. But I'm kind of having second thoughts on this. I don't want to maker her uncomfortable in any way on her birthday. Am I over thinking this and should just do it? Thanks for any help.

If your daughter doesn’t want to have a sign then don’t put a sign. That’s her birthday. I remember you wanted her to ride in a limo or something but she wasn’t into it. And we had this discussion on here. If your daughter doesn’t like attention then doing all these extreme attention things is just unnecessary .

Thanks. We're not doing the limo. My ideas got carried away.

I think you should skip on the sign for your daughter's birthday. She doesn't like attention drawn to herself, so I think you should pay attention to that and give her what she needs and wants the most.

I recall from your other post that you wanted to impress your neighbors with the limo for your daughter's bday. I have never heard of a sign being put out for someone's birthday before in my life, unless it's to let people know when they arrive where the party is being held. Are you trying again to impress your neighbors, is the question I have in my mind. I don't see the point otherwise of drawing attention to a birthday, especially when your daughter doesn't like attention.

Thanks for your input.

We're normally pretty quiet people. We've never been the flashy in your face kind of group. We're definitely not among the hundreds of people that have been having those drive by car parades (some people have actually solicited random strangers to drive by and honk at their kid out front which I don't think is proper). Only reason I was considering the sign was because it is a milestone birthday and we have no get together planned cause of Covid-19 precautions.

I'm a little confused because in your prior post, you had wanted to impress your neighbors with a limo. So it seems you may like/prefer to be a bit flashy? Either way, what matters most is what your daughter prefers for her bday. I think it's best to have a private celebration that makes her feel comfortable, relaxed, special and loved.

She said she's ok with the sign. Tell her you're unsure about it now and want her to decide for her own birthday. See what she says.. ?

Graduation sign is kind of more understanding as it’s one in a life time. Drive up parades are substitutes for real parties and events during pandemics. That’s understandable. Going from previous posts of yours your daughter is a lovely girl who doesn’t like to upset others. Perhaps she is ok with things against her nature just to please others.

My daughter is 32. We never had yard signs for her birthdays. She grew up well adjusted, but she also speaks her mind. Let your daughter to truly speak her mind and do things her way

Hi lovethesun,

I remember your other post about the limo, but don’t remember if I commented then.

The way I see it, you already bought the sign, it is her 16th birthday now in a pandemic, many people are putting out signs for birthdays and graduations now, you already asked your daughter about it and she said she is fine with it... so I would not make a big deal about the sign and put it out the day of her birthday and then remove it. To discuss the sign more only feeds the whole issue more of this attention issue. If she volunteers that she hates that sign or she removes it, then of course, agree to get rid of the sign.

I don’t see you as a mother who is trying to go way overboard as though living vicariously through her daughter. It sounds like you wanted to give her a great birthday experience because you love her and maybe also because you personally did or did not have that from your parents.

It’s a bummer that her Sweet 16 celebration that she wanted at the restaurant with her friends has been canceled due to a pandemic. I hope you both come up with some plan that is socially distanced and appeals to her.

If she said she's okay with the sign, leave it.

Just check with her and go with her preference. Even if it is up and she later changes her mind and wants it taken down, that's also okay and I would take it down.

We ended up putting the sign out just for the day, then took it down. She asked to get her picture taken next to it, so I'll take that as her enjoying it. It was a good day. Thanks for all the input.