Lost my child to a very clever manipulator

Hi,

I wonder if anyone out there is suffering like me? How do I get her back, she's brainwashed and trauma bonded with an older female.

She's very much loved and missed, baby of our family.

The sooner you reverse it the better the outcome. How old is she? What happened?

I'm so sorry to hear that. That's a mom's worst nightmare.

This link might help:
Parental Alienation Syndrome. (P.A.S.)

She's 21 now, 20 when she got involved. My daughter is gay and had just got out of a 2 year relationship, the girl decided to be with a guy and broke up with my daughter. I believe she went on a dating app and found this woman. We sent her to Cali to see family for a couple of weeks, she got home sick and asked to come back early. She flew back and never came home, went to this woman and has been with her ever since. If it was a normal healthy loving relationship, it would be ok. The abuse, verbal and physical, the mind control and now she has her working while she stays home, but continues to berate her, control her phone, control her freedom, control her from even taking a shower, it's too much for me to sit back and do nothing. She's on the lease and working to support this woman. Recently she has been visiting my middle daughter who lives not far from her, 2 visits I should say and during those visits she has told her what the situation is and how bad things are, but she won't leave! My daughter has offered to help her on more than one occasion even though this woman has verbally abused her and threatened her too. How do I step in, what can I do to get back to us, it kills me every day knowing she's in this srak place.

I am sorry to hear that. It is heart breaking to see our children suffer. Having said that, she is an adult and there’s no way for you to interfere. In fact you can make it worse for her. Tell her you are there for her and hopefully she has the strength to end bad relationship

If she's able to visit with her sister, why has she cut you off?

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do for your daughter. She is 21. She is an adult. For whatever reason, she has chosen to stay with this woman and doesn't want her family involved. What was your relationship with your daughter before she moved in with this woman like?

She's always been very loving and caring to her family. She's the baby and we have cared for her to the very best of our ability. That's the very reason I'm so confused how this all happened...

The woman doesn't want her to see her family. I don';t think she told her that she visited her sister.

I can't imagine the stress it causes you as her mother as I"m not a mother myself. Aside from hiring a professional deprogrammer (look up Rick Alan Ross), if you want to treat this situation with your daughter and her lesbian lover as the equivalence of your daughter being brainwashed like she's in a cult; you'd have to get the police involved through hiring a private detective to get your daughter removed from that woman's home.

But since your daughter is 21 years old, she's recognized as an adult by the state. So, it is unlikely that the state would help you unless she also had a drug or alcohol addiction that was being effected by living with her lover.

Do you have a healthy relationship with your daughter now? Has there ever been acrimony between you and her? Have you been overbearing or controlling towards her in her past?

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