Living in a bullsh*t world

I’ve been balancing on the thin line between being rude and honest my entire life. People usually didn’t like me and that’s understandable. But lately I was like “hey, maybe we could meet someone, like a partner” and that’s the part when I got screwed and completely discouraged.

The whole “dating” looks to me like an acting competition. My unfortunate is that I pay close attention to people and their actions. I know how build attraction but almost 90% of those common “behavioral patterns” are not me. I am tired of pretending… and, well, I don’t know what to do.

I also noticed that other people got used to this bu******. A good friend of mine whom I knew since 3rd grade met me the other day and introduced me to his new girlfriend who joined a moment later. I did not know who is this guy. He was the man, masculine and attractive - obviously, but he’s not like that. His attitude toward several things we discussed changed in a way that made him look “more attractive”. It was a fu**ing joke, painful to watch. And I told myself “I’m not going down this road”.

So, does anyone know how can I spend my life alone and remain reasonably happy?

I guess you just have to find your hobby/ interest, and work from their. is their anything that you currently enjoy doing?

sorry I can't be more of a help. I live my life alone because I don't want a relationship, and I don't like people- and I'm happy with that (well, I'm not, I mean in life I am quite disatisfied), but in terms of my own company, I wouldn't want anyone else's. only if I really had to.

I guess the only thing that slightly embarrases me in regards to relationships is that I've never been kissed (not even by my own mother)

I remember once my parents asked me if I'd like them to hand me a valentines card from them to me. wow. I found that embarrassing

I do have a passion and a career I'm succesfully pursuing - working in the film industry, but so what? It's nowhere near enough, especially when you have a bad day and you go home and do... nothing.

I don’t think you need to pretend in order to get a date. Personally I am too direct and straightforward to ever pretend anything. I think you should be yourself (within reason, some things need to be private).

Have you tried to meet people through your hobbies and interests? There must be ton of people interested in films and movies?

You don't have to be rude, to be honest. I have been on the dating sites for many years, but recently quit. I guess find a way to have a different outlook on life....instead of B.S.....atttitude is important. We attract others when being open and authentic.