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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
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#1
I’m really just feeling awful...I thought about this situation that happened and I know a confident woman would have said bye bye...and that would be that...I know I allowed him to disrespect me. I need to rebuild my confidence and stop taking crap. First time, I can forgive but not 15 chances...then I’m just a damn pushover...so mad at myself for taking so much sh**! I have a lot going for me so I don’t understand what I was thinking with this loser
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Bill3, WovenGalaxy
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,924
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#2
What would you think of blocking him on all means of communication?
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
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#3
Are you comfortable sharing what you mean? Are we talking about physical or emotional abuse?
Quote:
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,369
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#4
Don’t beat yourself up. I forgot if you are seeing a therapist, it might really help you to get to the bottom of it. Perhaps you pursuing unavailable men has something to do with your upbringing etc You want to break this cycle
I suggested to you before if you want to stop putting up with him, start with not going to his house. Then start expanding your circle of friends, get new hobbies or get a second job or start big projects. Be busy so you aren’t tempted to go see him. |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Nyc
Posts: 98
4 8 hugs
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#5
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Magnate
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,854
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#6
There's a book called The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel. Its a good read, and I've found it helpful. You might too.
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Disney2019
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,369
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#7
“ Women who love too much” is a good book too.
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Disney2019
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Disney2019
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,089
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#8
Any time you find yourself receiving less than what you truly want AND deserve, then reevaluate the situation. If it is a one-sided situation, then back out. That will never be fulfilling or fair to you.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,186
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#9
A doormat is an expression that means you let people walk all over you. Just say no. Don’t let them. You have value and can enforce boundaries. If they get angry and leave you, then pick yourself up and move forward.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,751
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#10
Until you totally get fed up with being treated that way & within yourself say "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH" with RESOLUTION, it will be difficult to change. It is really not just about distancing & not having time for them.....it is an INTERNAL decision within yourself to change how you relate to others & decide that saying NO isn't selfish like many women have been brainwashed to think. Yes, it is hard to take a firm stand on anything if we have never been shown by example but some of the best lessons in life are the ones we teach ourselves.....because those are the ones we REALLY learn.
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: U.S.
Posts: 709
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#11
It sounds like you’ve taken a first step. You are aware of it and you are tired of it. Change is not an instant thing. It takes time to process the emotions and think about your behaviors. Then you can start taking the next steps. It’s ok if you’re not perfect, just keep making progress. You can keep working on it... one day at a time.
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Have Hope
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Bill3, eskielover, WovenGalaxy
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Birmingham UK
Posts: 603
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#12
Take your time in working out why you're treated this way and the path to take will become clearer.
My problem is family members seeing no wrong in treating me like a doormat or punch bag (metaphorically speaking). Have now reached that point where enough is enough. Fed up with being reminded of past comments and being told I'm always right. Came to conclusion yesterday that some of them are not nice people and the only way to resolve this is to walk away. Sad but true..... |
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