Learned relationship over from FB PIC

I have a stance on cheating -- once someone cheats, I don't think they should ever be given a second chance. For me, that's it. Once is enough. and I will never be able to trust the person ever again.

So, this man? He showed you once before that he is not trustworthy. He showed you his willingness to cheat once, and then even worse, let you find out about it again in the most horrible way. His character is extremely flawed.

You deserved far better than how he treated you.

What you can learn from this is that once someone shows you their true colors earlier on, trust and believe what you are witnessing. You wanted to give him another chance, which is admirable, but the saying is true that "once a cheater, always a cheater".

This man's character is SO low. You yourself would never treat someone this way, I am sure.

So.. the other gemstone to take away? Thank the Lord you are no longer dealing with such a person of such low character. And he will certainly mistreat this new woman, just as he did you, and he will most likely cheat on her as well.

The pain of his betrayal will pass in time...... give it time, and know that you deserve someone of much stronger character who is HONEST and TRUSTWORTHY. This man is not.

Hugs to you.

Thank you Have Hope,

I agree with you.... When I found out, I should have stated, “it is over”. When I found out, before I called him..my heart started bouncing, i my stomach felt as if it was in my throat....horrible physical feelings...a trauma bond....
My mind had a flashback to when I was a child, yearning for my mother’s love....I have childhood trauma isssues....which I am trying to work on...

Yes, he showed me quite clearly how little he thought & felt of the eight years we spent together.

I am lucky I will never see or speak to him again..

Hugs,

LP

I have found that I have accepted far less than I deserve at times because of that same trauma bond and desire to be loved.

Once we heal that trauma bond, it's easier to not put up with any of the crap and nonsense.

So, I had someone once who cheated on me years ago, and I found out because I went through his phone one day. Then, after we broke up, he tried to cheat on HER with ME months later and wrote me love letters while he was with her. Well, she stuck with him even though I mailed those love letters TO HER, and she married him years later. Now, I find out (through him - he contacted me again years after being with her), that he was STILL cheating on her. And to this day? I am sure he is cheating on her, even after marrying her.

So, once a cheater, always a cheater. These types of men are despicable. It's a disgrace.

I'm so sorry you had to deal with this kind of pain after 8 years of being together. But yes, be thankful you didn't marry him and find this out after more years together. I always try to find a silver lining, in every situation.

Hugs back to you.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hate to hear stories like this. 8 years is a long time. Makes my heart sink. I know how it feels to be cheated on multiple times. Very awful feeling. My heart goes out to you. You are a strong and brave person to pick yourself up and keep moving forward. It's good to vocalize this stuff so can grieve the loss of a relationship you thought would survive. Let it out so you can heal.

I know too how damaging it can be to your self esteem as well. You can't hear enough how beautiful, smart, and loving you are. You need to tell yourself this as much as you can. Do things that will build you up.

Take care!!

In this instance you need to set boundaries. You have to respect yourself, an ultimatums good but if your bluffing it wont work. Work on intimacy in your partnership.